


He's So Pretty It Hurts

by SmallFlowers



Series: radioverse [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at humour, Fluff, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, M/M, Unrequited Love, haechan is gay, hyuck is dumb, if you're not cool with poly you should probably not read this, radio club, slight angst, slow burn with a question mark, that's an understatement, will update the tags as I go along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:13:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 45,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25821952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallFlowers/pseuds/SmallFlowers
Summary: He's meditatingHe's diedNo, he's passed out because of gay
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: radioverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994680
Comments: 151
Kudos: 196





	1. gay, gay and.... you guessed it! gay!

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings:  
> \- fainting  
> \- food

Donghyuck stands there, breathless as he watches quite possibly the most beautiful, gorgeous, stunning man he’s ever seen in his life before him. He’s star struck, unable to move, and Mark watches him with concern, shaking him gently to snap him out of it. 

“Donghyuck, are you alright? You look a bit pale,” Mark says, a frown on his lips.

Donghyuck glances at Mark briefly before his eyes float back to the man he was staring at before, giving a curt, “I’m fine.”

Mark takes a look behind him. A sigh leaves his lips, but his frown is replaced by a small grin, “Are you staring at Jaehyun? Because, like, I totally understand if you are.”

“His name is Jaehyun?” Donghyuck asks breathlessly, eyes never leaving him. Jaehyun is on the other side of the classroom, with someone Donghyuck can only presume to be his friend, for the sake of his heart. The said friend is  _ really fucking tall  _ and  _ really fucking hot  _ in Donghyuck’s (small and) humble opinion. He briefly thinks that Tall Guy could probably squash him like a bug if the chance ever came up _. _

When Jaehyun tilts his head back and laughs at something Tall Guy said, eyes smiling and dimples practically  _ glowing _ , Donghyuck feels his throat dry up. His heart aches a little as well.

“Yep,” Mark confirms with a nod, “The giant is Johnny by the way. He’s my brother.”

And to Donghyuck’s horror,  _ ‘the giant’  _ as Mark had so adequately described him, glances his way and smiles, drawing Jaehyun’s attention away from Johnny to them. He doesn’t know what he’s done in his past life to deserve this, but now both Johnny and Jaehyun are making their way here, and he thinks he might just pass out from having two incredibly attractive men so much as  _ smile  _ at him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Mark! Why didn’t you say anything when you guys came in?” Johnny says as he slaps Mark on the back, causing him to tumble forward slightly. His smile is large as he speaks, eyes twinkling with excitement, “And introduce us to your friend!”

Mark sighs as he stands upright again, “This is Donghyuck.” 

Donghyuck gives them a wave with the biggest smile he can manage, but judging by the wince that Johnny and Jaehyun give, it probably looks more like a grimace. He swallows around nothing, noting how  _ really fucking dry  _ his throat is _.  _

“I saw him staring at one of our flyers so I asked if he wanted to come join us,” Mark says with a grin. He gestures to each person as he says their name, “Donghyuck, this is Johnny and Jaehyun. They’re the ones that first established the radio club.”

“Mark, what did you do to him? He looks like he’s about to pass out,” Jaehyun jokes, except it’s not really a joke, with the way the corners of his lips turn downward slightly. “You going to be okay, Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck nods slowly, _he could really go for some water right now_ , coming to the realisation that he probably looks like a fool. The most attractive men he’s ever seen in his life are in front of him, _trying to make conversation,_ and he looks like a _fool. Nice going, Donghyuck. Okay. Deep breaths. This is fine. This is okay_. _This is-_ _oh no._ The world is tilting and Donghyuck is _not_ going to be okay and- _yep_. _He’s gone._

_ - _

When Donghyuck wakes up, it’s to the sound of someone talking. A voice he can’t quite pinpoint at that, but he feels the panic slowly seep out of his body as he opens his eyes and is met with the familiar ceilings of a classroom. Using his incredible deduction skills and half-awake brain as he glances at the walls, he recalls that he’s in the room that Mark had taken him to before - a classroom attached to the university’s radio booth. After back trailing as to how he ended up on the floor with a folded jumper under his head, he realises.  _ Jaehyun and Johnny _ .

_ He passed out because of gay _ . Donghyuck wants to cry.

The speaking stops and he slowly sits up, a hand coming up to hold his head. As the sound of footsteps near him, he turns his head and he’s suddenly staring up at all 6ft of Johnny.  _ Wow, A Bug’s Life is looking kinda different these days. _

“You okay there, buddy?” he asks, a hand coming up to rest on Donghyuck’s shoulder, “My friend should be here soon.”

“I’m a bit dizzy,” Donghyuck mumbles, cheeks dusting a light pink. It’s an understatement, his head feels like it weighs a hundred bricks and he wants to crawl into the mouth of a cave somewhere in the mountains and never return. To live his life out there where he’ll no longer have to faint whenever he sees someone so ungodly attractive. He doesn’t voice any of this though, he’s already made a fool of himself. “Why is your friend coming?”

Just as Donghyuck finishes his sentence, another guy rushes into the room with a bottle of water and a backpack strapped tightly to his back. He’s much shorter than Johnny, but still outrageously handsome. Donghyuck internally groans. The gays start coming and  _ they really don’t stop coming.  _

“Sorry, I got here as fast as I could,” the new guy says, panting heavily. He hurriedly makes his way to Donghyuck, “How long has he been up?”

“Like a minute? Around when I ended the call with you,” Johnny replies. Donghyuck tries to stand up but is gently pushed down by the new guy, and shrinks under the narrowed cat eyes directed at him, “Says he’s a bit dizzy.”

“You shouldn’t try to stand up until you stop feeling dizzy.” The new guy crouches down next to Johnny as he takes his backpack off, and opens the bottle of water for him. “Here, drink some.”

Donghyuck sits cross-legged and gratefully takes the bottle, “Are you Johnny’s friend?”

“Boyfriend, actually,” Johnny’s boyfriend smiles, “Sorry, you must be confused. I’m Ten, I do some first aid volunteering.”

“And he’s great at it!” Johnny supplies with a big grin on his face as he wraps his arms around Ten’s frame from behind him, causing the other to lose balance and eventually send the both of them tumbling backwards onto the ground. Donghyuck hates himself for the internal cheer he does at the information that Jaehyun and Johnny aren’t dating.

“We left the room for two minutes what did we miss?” Jaehyun asks from the door, completely unfazed by Ten trying to fight his way out of Johnny’s hold on the floor. Mark trails behind him with a large cardboard box.

“Well, Donghyuck woke up, Ten is here…” Johnny trails off, letting go of Ten and standing up to get the box from Mark, “I think that’s pretty much it.”

Ten repositions and sits himself on the ground next to Donghyuck. Johnny sets the box on the table, and procures a small craft knife, cutting open the tape holding the top of the box together. Jaehyun helps remove packaged headsets and microphones from it, checking against a list on Mark’s phone to make sure they’re all accounted for. 

Ten places his focus back on Donghyuck, a hand coming to rub his back gently.

“You were only out for a few minutes so you should be fine. Just make sure you remember to drink water and stay hydrated,” Ten tells Donghyuck with a gentle smile, “Luckily Jaehyun managed to catch you before you hit the ground.”

Donghyuck swallows, a deeper blush coming to his cheeks.  _ Jaehyun  _ caught him? Oh God. He wants to cry even more. 

After everything’s been accounted for from the box, everyone is on the floor, huddled in a circle with Donghyuck making small talk. It would  _ almost  _ feel cult-like, if it wasn't for how easy it’s been for him to joke around with them. 

“Seriously? Was everyone invited to this meeting except us?” a new voice says from the door, slightly accented. He’s followed in by two other guys, all otherworldly attractive.  _ Seriously, how many attractive guys is he going to run into today? _

“Well, Yuta, if you must know, yes,” Ten says, a devilish grin on his face.

“Aw man, for real?” Yuta says with a pout on his lips as they join the Cult Circle, everyone shuffling a bit to make room. Yuta pauses when he notices Donghyuck, “Who’s this? Is he joining the radio?”

Johnny coughs, “This is Donghyuck. We think he’s joining us, yeah. I mean we haven’t actually talked about that yet… but Mark says he was interested in the flyer you put up?” He looks toward Donghyuck for confirmation. 

Donghyuck nods once, “I’m Donghyuck,” he says, smiling up at the three new faces.

“I’m Yuta,” Yuta introduces himself, a glint in his eye that Donghyuck can’t quite make out. The others introduce themselves as Taeil and Sicheng, “Welcome to the team I guess! If you decide to join.”

“Yeah! Or even if you don’t want to join the team you can still hang out here,” Taeil says, “Sicheng and I are just here for the free food.” Sicheng nods agreeingly, the both of them giving him a thumbs up. Donghyuck likes them.

“Whilst that may be true,” Johnny says, glaring at them before softening his gaze onto Donghyuck, “They are our friends and we love them and we appreciate their company, and- oh! Taeyong just texted! Him and Doyoung just picked up the food.”

Loud cheers erupt from around the circle with the promise of food, and Donghyuck wonders to himself if this was just the norm around here. He thinks he could get used to it.

By the time the food arrives, Donghyuck no longer feels dizzy, and he’s able to fully enjoy the company he’s with. He hasn’t been able to feel this free in a long time. When Taeyong and Doyoung  _ (more attractive men to add to his insecurities)  _ place the food in the middle of the circle, it’s suddenly chaotic as everyone swarms for a piece of chicken. 

“Oi guys, chill the fuck out,” Doyoung scolds, “Let Donghyuck have some too. He needs to get his energy up.”

A chorus of “sorry” ensues before it calms down and everyone turns to make conversation with each other. Donghyuck insists that he’s feeling absolutely fine now, but Jaehyun passes him a plate with some chicken on it with a small smile anyway. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck says intelligently, a faint blush on his cheeks, “Thanks. For the food.” He pauses for a moment. “And for catching me as well.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jaehyun returns, dimples deep. Unfamiliarity brings a pause between them before he opens his mouth to speak again. “So why do you wanna join the radio? I know you saw the flyer but...”

Donghyuck’s eyes light up and he sits up just a bit straighter, “Well, when I saw the flyer looking for some music people, I thought to myself, do  _ I _ know any music people? And me! I am a music people! A people of the music!”

Jaehyun laughs at that, dimples and all, and a warm feeling spreads in Donghyuck’s chest. He likes it. He likes it  _ a lot. _

“I also wanted to make friends and this just seemed like a nice way to meet more people,” Donghyuck says as an afterthought. He looks down at the plate of chicken in his lap. 

“That’s definitely true,” Jaehyun responds with an understanding smile, “It’s difficult to make friends at uni, everyone just scrambles to get their shit together as soon as class finishes.”

Donghyuck nods his head in agreement and looks up at him as a sign to continue. 

“Luckily for me, Johnny and I met years before uni, we used to be neighbours. I’m really glad I know him.”

Jaehyun pauses a little, eyes trained on Johnny and Donghyuck follows his gaze. Johnny laughs into Ten’s shoulder, arms wrapped around him, and when Donghyuck looks back at Jaehyun, his eyes are a bit sad, a slight frown on his face.  _ Oh,  _ Donghyuck thinks,  _ it’s like that _ .

Jaehyun clears his throat and then continues with a smile, “When Johnny and I first opened the radio club, it was just us. No one listened to us at first, not even the university board. We just had each other, but as we slowly gained listeners, we also gained friends. Through this, we’ve made a family.”

Jaehyun looks around the circle with fondness in his eyes, and Donghyuck knows what he means. When Donghyuck sees the smiles on everyone’s faces, the animated laughter and teasing, the playful fighting, Donghyuck just  _ knows _ . This is a family. Maybe it could be his family too.

“Getting the funding from the university for better equipment is a plus too, although half of it goes towards the food.”

Donghyuck laughs at that and relishes in how nice it is to just hang out again. He wants to know more about Jaehyun, about the radio, about this family. He thinks he’s going to enjoy it here.


	2. oh gay did it again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck hangs out with his high school friends, Mark finds out some shit, and Doyoung gets bullied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings:  
> underage drinking (chenle and jisung)

Donghyuck  _ knew  _ this was going to happen.

“You fucking-” Renjun wheezes, cheeks flushed pink as he slams his fists down onto the floorboards, “You  _ fucking passed out.” _

“Junie, please don’t swear,” Jeno tries to say, but he’s laughing around his words, ears burning red, “There are  _ children  _ present.”

The said children are laughing at him too, Chenle clutching his stomach as Jisung rolls onto his side with tears in his eyes.  _ Assholes.  _

He sips his next shot of soju with a frown. 

They’re sitting on the floor of Jeno and Renjun’s apartment, three soju bottles finished between them, three more sitting in the fridge. It’s a Sunday night, so they probably  _ shouldn’t  _ be doing this, but Chenle and Jisung don’t have school tomorrow because of their  _ year twelve privileges,  _ and Renjun doesn’t have any plans. Jeno just has a movie date with some guy named  _ Sushi  _ in the evening, which leaves Donghyuck with his tutorial at 10am, and although education  _ is  _ important, he would rather eat  _ concrete  _ than miss an opportunity to be with his friends. 

“Oh god, I thought that was just a one-time thing,” Chenle manages to say, still clutching his stomach. His resemblance to a dolphin is uncanny. “When we joked about Hyuck fainting because he thought Jeno was hot,  _ I didn’t actually think it was because he thought Jeno was hot.” _

_ The Jeno Incident.  _ Donghyuck slaps a hand over his eyes as he hunches over laughing at the memory.

It was Jeno’s first day at their school, and when he waltzed into choir that afternoon and smiled at Donghyuck’s general direction,  _ he fainted.  _ He had never seen someone so  _ attractive  _ before in all nearly seventeen years of his life, and his brain decided that it was going to just  _ log out _ .  _ He really had a thing for giving great first impressions. _

“ _ Me neither!”  _ Renjun exclaims a bit too loudly. He waves his arms around as if to prove his point, “When Jeno walked into choir, I thought he looked like a  _ fucking nerd,  _ and when Donghyuck suddenly fainted I was so scared - I was  _ convinced  _ that Jeno tried to  _ kill  _ him somehow!”

“ _ We know _ ,” Jeno says, and he’s still smiling despite getting accused of  _ attempted murder _ . “You tried to send me to  _ jail  _ for the entire first term of year eleven - even after Donghyuck and I started to date-”

“But look at us now!” Jisung cheers, raising his shot as he looks around the circle, “Who would’ve thought?”

“ _ Certainly not me!”  _ Donghyuck muses, clinking his glass with Jisung’s, downing the remaining liquid.  _ He just doesn’t think in general. _

“Talking about this takes me back to when Chenle thought Renjun liked Donghyuck and was just in a jealous rage,” Jisung says when he finishes the shot, reminiscing as he looks into the distance with a small smile on his face, “ _ God, that was a time. _ ”

Chenle covers his face with his hands as he lays his head onto Jisung’s lap with a groan, “Can we  _ not  _ talk about that, please? I didn’t realise Renjun was  _ actually serious  _ about sending Jeno to jail.”

Donghyuck snorts. Having your best friend tell you that your  _ other  _ best friend is trying to send your boyfriend at the time to jail because he’s in love with you isn’t something he’d like to experience again. It’s  _ kinda  _ funny when he looks back on it, though.  _ Maybe it’s the alcohol _ . He stares at the empty shot glass.  _ It’s definitely the alcohol.  _

“Then what about when you thought  _ I  _ had a crush on Jeno because I wouldn’t let Renjun take him to the police station?” Jisung asks with a raised eyebrow, stroking Chenle’s hair.

“Okay,  _ not fair,”  _ Chenle removes his hands and glares at Jisung, but makes no move to tell him to stop. “That time,  _ I  _ was in a jealous rage because of _ you _ . Mr Park  _ still  _ laughs every time someone even  _ mentions  _ megaphones, and if it’s in our graduation cards,  _ I will scream.” _

“But you were so _cute,”_ Jisung smiles down at Chenle fondly despite the heated words. The display of affection _really_ isn’t a lot, but Donghyuck still finds himself scrunching his nose as he pours himself another shot, Renjun and Jeno following suit. His mind briefly floats to Johnny and Ten and _Jaehyun_ but he quickly shuts it down before any actual _thoughts_ start forming.

Chenle huffs.

“I’m never confessing my undying love for you through a megaphone again.”

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-

Donghyuck’s head is  _ throbbing  _ when he turns up to his tutorial, internally cursing mandatory attendance, sitting himself down on a table near the exit. There’s about fifteen other students in the class currently, some he recognises from last week. The unit is on ‘music history’, and although it’s a fairly interesting subject, it’s something he might find himself thinking about at two in the morning, not something he would  _ actively study _ . He’s not exactly  _ enthusiastic  _ about analysing  _ scholarly articles,  _ to say the least. He just wants to  _ sing.  _

It’s been ages since he last uploaded a cover and the comments under his videos are starting to look more and more worrying as time flies by. He might start losing hair if he sees one more  _ ‘omg is haechan dead’  _ or  _ ‘this is why we need haechan on social media’  _ comment _.  _

He’s scrolling through his notes on his laptop when someone sits down  _ next  _ to him despite there being several other empty seats. 

“Donghyuck?” The person that sat down next to him asks, unsure. Donghyuck snaps his head to him.

“ _ Mark!”  _ Donghyuck exclaims with a bright smile. He’s a bit  _ too  _ loud though, receiving glares from the other students, but Mark looks happy to see him, eyes twinkling in what Donghyuck thinks is  _ excitement _ . “I didn’t realise you were in this class!”

“I didn’t realise  _ you  _ were in this class either!” Mark laughs back. He gets his laptop out, closes the youtube app and-

“ _ You listen to Haechan?”  _ Donghyuck nearly screams, but it comes out as more of a harsh whisper. His eyes are wide, and his cheeks feel warm despite his jacket doing nothing to keep the chill of the air-conditioner out. 

It’s been a few years now since he started posting covers, sometimes even posting his own songs. He has  _ just  _ under a hundred thousand subscribers now, so he’s not that really well-known yet. He’s  _ surprised  _ to actually meet someone who listens to him who isn’t a family member or close friend, to say the least.

“Yeah! You listen to him?”

_ Oh boy, do I have news for you. _

“You could say that I listen to him  _ a lot _ , yeah,” Donghyuck  _ casually  _ says, but his cheeks feel like they’re on  _ fire.  _ Mark gives him a confused look at his choice of words, but continues anyway.

“Jaehyun recommended me one of his covers last year and I’ve been subscribed to him ever since. His voice is  _ so  _ nice to listen to.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck looks down at his hands with a small grin. Reading comments about how people love his voice is one thing,  _ but to have someone unknowingly say it to your face? He feels euphoric. And shy. Mainly shy,  _ but his ego still compels him to ask more, “What’s your favourite song?”

Mark pauses for a moment, lets out a little hum, and then proceeds to say one of the most  _ embarrassing  _ songs Donghyuck ever released, “It’s not my  _ favourite _ , but I’ve been listening to ‘Arms’ a lot.”

_ Arms,  _ written, recorded and posted in two weeks, with lyrics that only a gay hormonal seventeen year old boy could write. 

“Oh  _ god.  _ Anything but that,” Donghyuck groans as he covers his face with his hands, “ _ Anything but that.” _

He had written the song after the  _ Jeno Incident _ . His friends had argued against releasing it,  _ they did,  _ but he still posted the song anyway, sending the link to Jeno with the message ‘ _ u hve v nice arms plz b my bf also i wrote this 4 u _ ’ in a lovesick haze. 

Although Jeno didn’t immediately respond to his confession  _ (he actually blocked his number),  _ a month later he got himself a boyfriend  _ (even if they only lasted half a year) _ , and Donghyuck isn’t entirely sure  _ how  _ that worked  _ (it actually had nothing to do with the song) _ . 

The lyrics are downright  _ embarrassing,  _ and knowing people actually listen to him repeating the phrase ‘ _ your arms, your arms, they’re really really nice’  _ for half of the song makes him want to fly to the moon and set up camp there.

“You know, at this point,” Mark says with narrowed eyes, just as the tutor stands up to start the class and Donghyuck takes his face out of his hands, “I feel like I’m missing something and you’re not telling me what that something is.”

“Oh, right, I’m Haechan,” Donghyuck says when the initial embarrassment fades, bringing up the article the tutor reads out on his laptop. He waves off the stunned ‘ _ pardon?’  _ he gets in response. 

..-. --- .-. / .-- .... --- / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. .

When Donghyuck walks into the club room with Mark in tow, the latter  _ finally  _ coming to terms with him being Haechan, Yuta and Johnny are setting up the projector. Taeyong is on the laptop laughing at something, and he checks the projector screen as it flickers a little before it shows a powerpoint presentation with the title slide in neon green highlighted comic sans, “ _ NEON NIGHTS: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW _ ”, and then in smaller text underneath, “ _ BY DOYOUNG KIM BECAUSE JOHNNY DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT EVEN THOUGH HE’S THE CLUB PRESIDENT _ .”

It’s already been a week since the academic semester started, so he’s not entirely sure why there’s a sudden need for an orientation, especially when he’s been here practically everyday since he saw the flyer. He voices this, but Johnny says something about Doyoung  _ insisting  _ they do one (he imagines Doyoung saying something along the lines of “ _ Fuck it. I’ll do it myself”  _ when Johnny refused) _. _

He walks further into the room as he greets everyone with Mark before he sits himself down on a chair in front of the screen. Mark sits next to him as well, but the older members stay where they are at the front, grabbing a few chairs to sit down facing them. 

Doyoung and Jaehyun come in not long after with bags full of snacks, and Donghyuck glows when Jaehyun passes him a packet of sunflower seeds with a smile. 

_ (“It’s like he can read my mind. Maybe we’re meant to be.” _

“ _ Maybe it’s Maybelline. _ ”

Donghyuck ignores Mark.)

Once everyone is seated - or in Doyoung’s case, standing on a small stool in front of the projector screen with a microphone in hand, the lights dim.

“Hi, and welcome to the official Neon Nights orientation! Please join me in a round of applause,” Doyoung’s voice booms through the speakers, the sound of the microphone hitting his other hand as he claps coming through. 

Donghyuck stares right into Doyoung’s eyes and smiles. He doesn’t clap, and pops a few sunflowers seeds into his mouth. Mark snorts. Someone coughs. 

“So _ , _ ” Doyoung continues, undeterred by the lack of response. He clicks on the next slide. “The purpose of today is to go over the different positions of the radio club, established two years ago by our very own Johnny Suh and Jaehyun Jeong!”

The slide shows a photo of Johnny and Jaehyun in a handshake as they look at the camera with unsure expressions on their faces. Donghyuck tries not to get distracted because  _ oh my god Jaehyun had purple hair _ .

“But before that, I should mention that we’re not the  _ only  _ radio club at SM. Each radio club has their own designated time slot, and Johnny wanted a slot later into the night for those that just wanted to  _ vibe _ , hence the name  _ Neon Nights.  _ Broadcasts are on Friday nights at 10pm, and go for one and a half hours give or take, depending on if the uni has any announcements to make through us. Radio club meetings officially happen at 4pm every Monday and Wednesday, but we’re here pretty much everyday, whether it be to study or plan or just hang out. There’s a class here at 11am on Tuesdays and Thursdays that end at 1pm, but other than that we’re free to come in whenever.” 

Donghyuck nods. The information regarding broadcasts isn’t entirely new to him, even though he’s never actually sat through one yet.

“Despite being the radio with the most listeners, we’re a small team, and we don’t have that many positions,” Doyoung informs, “The first one I’ll be going over is probably one of the more important ones, as we can’t really have a broadcast without them.”

He procures a laser pointer, and he points it directly at Johnny and Jaehyun’s foreheads on the screen.

“The hosts. You can call them whatever you want - speaker people, MCs, radio personalities... whatever. They’re the ones that do the talking on the show. On Neon Nights, those are Johnny and Jaehyun. Sometimes we have guest hosts like Ten and Taeyong, depending on who’s free when one of the two main hosts isn't available, or sometimes we just have guests in general.”

Donghyuck nods again, half-listening, half-thinking about asking for a copy of the presentation. Jaehyun looks _good_ with his black hair, _but the_ _purple_.

“The second position, the scriptwriter-” 

The slide changes to two photos of Doyoung in a purple teletubby suit. The first one pictures him upside down with his back against a wall, legs falling forward with his face scrunched up as he tries to do a handstand. The second one pictures him passed out on the ground, a dick drawn on his cheek, and a near-empty bottle of grey goose vodka hugged tightly against his chest. Everyone except Doyoung stifles a laugh.

“Okay, who the  _ fuck  _ changed it _?” _ Doyoung scowls. Donghyuck can’t see his face when he turns around, but he pictures him with narrowed eyes. “I  _ will  _ find whoever did this, and when I do _ , I will make your life a living hell _ .”

“Well, it’s too late for that,” Taeyong mutters under his breath. Doyoung's head points to him, and Taeyong looks even  _ more  _ amused, a smirk on his lips and a glint in his eyes that signals he has more to say. “ _ Naruto is better than Digimon. _ ”

Donghyuck is  _ confused. What the fuck is a digimon?  _

“We are  _ not  _ going over this again, Taeyong!” Doyoung says as he waves his arms around in exasperation. The laser pointer moves all over the room at the action, and a chorus of groans erupt as everyone covers their eyes. He turns it off. “Haha, whoops.”

There’s another pause as he turns back to face the front, clearing his throat, “Anyway. Scriptwriter.”

_ Oh, right. Orientation. _

“I basically write the scripts and research about topics. Pretty self-explanatory. Next up is the radio board operator.”

It’s a photo of Mark as a baby sitting next to quite possibly the largest watermelon Donghyuck has ever seen. It would’ve been a cute photo, if it hadn’t been for the seagull flying above him, baby-Mark crying as the bird poop is captured  _ just  _ before it lands on him. Mark glares at Johnny, his mouth open in betrayal. His brother looks amusedly back at him, taunting him with his eyebrows raised, daring him to say something back. Mark narrows his eyes and mouths, ‘ _ I’m coming for you.’ _

“Radio board operators are essentially in charge of the audio. It’s basically just managing a mixing board.” 

The next slide is a photo of Yuta and Taeyong in a suit, holding their martini glasses to the camera like they’re Leonardo Dicaprio in The Great Gatsby. Doyoung is also present, dressed similarly in a suit, except the elegance is replaced with  _ horror,  _ his eyes and mouth open in fear as something beyond the camera catches his eye. Doyoung sighs. Yuta cheers around a corn chip as he fist bumps Taeyong.

“The last position we have are the producers; Taeyong and Yuta. They just make sure everything runs smoothly for the live shows. I would say that Johnny and Jaehyun are producers as well, if you’re looking at it from a more overall perspective of the club, not just including what goes on during broadcasts.”

Johnny lifts his hand up to say something, and Doyoung passes him the microphone, even though he really doesn’t need to. Johnny speaks into it anyway, “I just wanted to mention that although we eat in here all the time, no food and  _ only  _ non-alcoholic drinks are allowed inside the radio booth.”

Varying nods make their way through the room, and after a few more house-keeping rules like ‘ _ don’t set the place on fire’,  _ the orientation is over. The lights flicker back on, the chairs are put back to their usual tables, and the bags that held the snacks are now empty.

Just as Donghyuck and Mark move to leave the room, Johnny calls them to talk. He’s a bit confused, and a little worried, but the smile on Johnny’s face is reassuring, and his worries fade away when he tells them that he wants them to make a start on  _ ‘that new music project’ _ for the show.

Donghyuck was informed last week  _ (after he fainted)  _ that they wanted to make their own theme song for the show instead of some  _ “shitty remixes of songs no one cares about”  _ as Johnny had so elegantly put. It was a good opportunity for both Mark and him, seeing as how they were doing music degrees, and Taeil and Doyoung would be helping them when they weren’t too busy tutoring or studying their own music units. 

He was excited to start this, and he supposed Mark was too. He had heard him muttering something about ‘ _ getting to work with The Haechan’.  _ He’s not entirely sure why there was a  _ ‘the’ _ in front of his name, but, well,  _ he’ll take what he can get. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo i hope this chapter was able to lift your spirits by even just a little bit !! at this point in time i'm not sure how often updates will be but hopefully as the uni weeks go by i won't be too busy. 
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated ! :D <3
> 
> as always stay safe and stay at home if you can ! bonus points if u checked out the morse code <3 (don't forget to put a slash in between the two phrases)


	3. another gay bites the dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck goes to work (yeah he has a job), Mark gets mildly frustrated, and Renjun deserves the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw mentions of food
> 
> not much jaehyuck in here lads but i hope you enjoy nonetheless
> 
> really recommend checking out the songs mentioned before u read:  
> falling for you - mxmtoon and peachy!  
> la la la that's how it goes - honne

When Donghyuck walks out of the backroom of Vinyl Culture Records, a cardboard box full of Beyonce’s Lemonade in hand, it’s to Jaemin positively  _ freaking out  _ over  _ “Aphrodite reincarnated”.  _

His eyes are filled with what Donghyuck can only describe as infatuation (or even lust), and he’s leaning against Jungwoo like he’s the only thing keeping him from chasing after his latest eye candy. They’re all in uniform, a name tag pinned onto a plain black t-shirt paired with blue jeans and sneakers, but whilst Jungwoo looks ready to help any struggling customers, Jaemin looks like he’s here for a tinder date.

It’s honestly not that strange of a site, given the half year or so that Donghyuck has been working here, but Jungwoo’s uncomfortable smile as Jaemin talks to him is a telling sign that something is  _ off _ , and a pit of wariness is planted into the bottom of his stomach. 

When Jaemin sees him, he zooms and drapes himself over Donghyuck, which causes him to glance around the store because there are  _ customers _ , but thankfully they don’t seem  _ too  _ disturbed - just mildly surprised.

“ _ Hyuckie, oh my god,”  _ Jaemin wails, his nametag hanging dangerously off his shirt, “I just saw the  _ hottest  _ dude.”

Donghyuck makes eye contact with Jungwoo from across the shelves of records. The uncomfortable smile is still there, but when he moves to question him, a customer goes over for help. He stores his questions away at the back of his mind for later as he walks over to the Beyonce aisle with Jaemin in tow, the other helping him stock the shelf whilst continuing his rant about  _ The Hottie of The Week _ .

“Hyuckie, you don’t  _ understand _ ,” Jaemin dramatically exhales after Donghyuck just nods along to whatever he was saying, “He was so  _ tall  _ and  _ hot  _ and  _ tall  _ and  _ hot  _ and-” 

“Tall and hot?” Donghyuck amusedly supplies with an eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck sighs, the both of them walking to the backroom with the now empty box. “You’ve said the same thing about every other customer that catches your eye. You even said that about  _ Jungwoo  _ before you found out that he was our new manager.”

“Okay, but what was I  _ wrong?” _

Donghyuck narrows his eyes. 

“Jungwoo  _ is  _ objectively tall and good-looking, but you keep forgetting that I worked with him at the ice cream store when I was in middle school, and I’ve  _ seen  _ the shit he’s done, Jaemin.  _ I’ve seen it _ .” 

A shudder runs down his spine as he recalls the time a young boy had forgotten to pay for his cone, and how Jungwoo had chased after him. It wouldn’t have been that strange of an incident, except Jungwoo was  _ barking  _ at the young boy for nearly a whole block with no explanation until the boy realised why. There was also another time when he had somehow  _ set fire  _ to one of the freezers because he thought he saw a spider. Or when he tried to mold a dick out of the leftover bits of ice cream in the tubs... 

“Ok, fine, whatever,” Jaemin says and opens the door, letting Donghyuck through first before shutting it behind them. Donghyuck flattens the now empty box and chucks it into the recycle bin. 

The backroom is pretty spacious given how it acts as both storage and a break room. There are four aisles of shelves filled with cardboard boxes of vinyls, and lined up to one of the walls are two desks, one with a kettle and a few cups of instant noodles on it, the other covered in paperwork. There’s a stack of chairs in the corner too, and Donghyuck momentarily thinks about getting one out before remembering that Jungwoo is alone on the floor.

“Do you know what you’re getting for your friend yet?” Jaemin asks when they go back to the storefront.

“Not sure yet,” Donghyuck hums back, adjusting some of the displays as they walk past, “I might get him a Troye Sivan vinyl? He’s been pretty into his music lately.”

Renjun’s birthday was coming up soon, and although he had viciously stated  _ “if you give me anything I will break your arms”,  _ Donghyuck figures he doesn’t really care for his arms that much, and he’s going to get him something either way. 

“Ooh, taste! Which one?”

“Blue Neighbourhood?”

Jaemin seems to beam, “Dude, is he single?”

“What?” Donghyuck asks with narrowed eyes, “Why do you wanna know?”

“Just… You could hook us up?”  _ Are Jaemin’s eyes sparkling? _

“Yeah… How about I don’t do that,” Donghyuck replies, throwing a cloth at Jaemin to keep him busy, “He’s not your type anyway. He’s all  _ tiny and cute _ , not ‘ _ tall and hot’.” _

“Who knows?” Jaemin raises an eyebrow, “Maybe he’ll change my mind.  _ The heart wants what the heart wants, man. _ ”

“Hmm,  _ sure _ ,” he ends the conversation, grabbing his own cloth to wipe the imaginary dust off of the record players.

The rest of his shift goes pretty uneventfully after that, most of it just full of tedious jobs to keep himself from boredom. Thursday afternoons were usually quiet, and it’s not too surprising when Jungwoo says the  _ Big Boss  _ texted them to close up at 4 instead of the usual 5pm. 

Jaemin is the first to leave once they close, leaving Donghyuck with Jungwoo. They’re in the middle of discussing what would happen if fish had human teeth on the walk to the bus stop when he’s reminded of the uncomfortable smile Jungwoo had given him during Jaemin’s rant earlier, because, well,  _ fish with human teeth  _ is a  _ pretty  _ uncomfortable thought in itself.

“What happened earlier?” He asks suddenly when they reach the stop.

“What? What do you mean?” Jungwoo is  _ confused  _ before he asks anxiously, “Did something happen?”

_ He’s not a mind-reader _ , Donghyuck reminds himself. 

“When Jaemin was going on about the hot customer you looked really constipated.”

“ _ Oh,”  _ Jungwoo lets out a tiny gasp of surprise, “The  _ ‘hot customer’  _ is a friend of mine that came into the store to say hi. I was probably just not used to having people call my friends  _ ‘hot’ -  _ even if it’s true _. _ ”

“ _ Oh,”  _ Donghyuck repeats, nodding in understanding. He kicks a stone onto the road. “You guys close?”

Jungwoo looks contemplative, but there’s just a tone of uncertainty in his voice that makes Donghyuck _know_ there’s more to it, “I guess? We hung out a lot in high school but after graduation we kinda… drifted? I still talk to him every now and then though.”

“I see,” he says looking down, kicking a few twigs off to the side, unsure if he’s interpreting the tone correctly, “I won’t pressure you to say anything more that you don’t want to. Just - he’s not a  _ bad guy  _ right?” 

“What? No!”

Donghyuck looks up at him with wide eyes from the sudden outburst.

Jungwoo clears his throat and blushes a little, “I mean  _ no,  _ he’s not  _ ‘a bad guy’ _ . He’s far from it. We just had a little  _ thing  _ in high school that ended when we graduated.”

“You don’t…” Donghyuck trails off and looks onto the road as he contemplates his words, “Do you have  _ feelings  _ for this guy?”

“I used to,” Jungwoo admits almost guiltily, looking down at his own shoes before looking back up with certainty, “But I think that was just because we were the only boys that were into  _ other  _ boys we knew our age. It was nothing serious - we were both just…  _ curious  _ about how things worked. Even if I  _ did  _ like him, I’m not really interested in getting into a relationship at the moment. I’m pretty sure he was in love with his neighbour anyway. ”

Donghyuck is a _ little  _ bit disappointed that Jungwoo never mentioned this guy to him. Despite how unique Donghyuck thought Jungwoo was when he first met him at the ice cream store all those years ago, he still looks up to him like an older brother. He’s been able to confide in him about his own issues, and he hopes the other can learn to confide in him too -  _ even  _ though Donghyuck is younger.

It gets a bit silent after that, the sound of the occasional car driving past them and Donghyuck’s shoe scraping the pavement as he swings it back and forth filling the air.

“What about you?”

Donghyuck gives him a questioning look and halts his leg swinging.

“Do you have anyone in mind right now? That you want to be in a relationship with?”

“I’m not sure,” Donghyuck says honestly. He’s met some great people since he’s begun his uni life. There’s the radio club, even some people in his classes and people he met during orientation week, although none of them really stand out to him, but when Jaehyun comes to mind, with his dimples and smile, his thoughts dawdle a bit too long and he feels a warmth in his cheeks. He settles for an unsure, “Maybe?”

“Why ‘maybe’?”

“It’s too early to tell… I’ve only known him for like two weeks?”

“Oh, that’s definitely too early to tell,” Jungwoo laughs, “Remember when you wrote that  _ really hormonal  _ song for that dude right after you met him and he blocked you?”

Actually,  _ nah _ , Donghyuck was never going to confide in him  _ again.  _

.--- ..- ... - / -... .-. --- ...

“Mark, I really don’t think we’re gonna get anything done at this rate,” Donghyuck says as he rolls over the side of the single bed with his legs on the ground. The other is at his desk with his laptop out, trying to get a start on their music project for the radio.

“Maybe if you stopped  _ rolling around on my bed _ ,” Mark swivels around his chair to stare at Donghyuck with mild frustration, “We could get something done?”

“But,  _ Mark,”  _ Donghyuck groans, “My brain is so  _ bleh  _ right now. I just finished a  _ quiz,  _ man _.” _

“Donghyuck, we did the quiz at the  _ same time _ ,” Mark deadpans, “We did the quiz  _ together. _ ” 

Donghyuck ignores him and rolls around some more, disrupting the small pile of watermelon plushies that lay at the foot of the bed.

It’s 9pm on a Saturday, Donghyuck is  _ tired  _ from studying with Mark for the  _ music history  _ quiz all day, and his brain grows even more exhausted from just  _ thinking  _ about starting the project. He’s also  _ bored  _ and needs something to distract himself from  _ daunting  _ tasks, but everything feels both  _ too much  _ and  _ not enough  _ all at the same time.

Mark fiddles with a pen, biting his lower lip as he raises a brow at him, “I thought you were excited to do this?”

“I  _ am _ ,” Donghyuck sits up with a whine. He crosses his legs and spreads his arms out like he’s trying to  _ reach  _ for words to explain himself before giving up, “I just don’t… It’s  _ complicated.” _

“Well, what do you normally do when you write music?”

“I just kinda… let my  _ hormones  _ do the work for me.”

Mark looks like he’s a second away from strangling him.

“But it’s not like I don’t have the energy to write stuff. I just don’t have the energy to write  _ that  _ stuff,” Donghyuck tries to put into words the emotions swallowing him.

Mark furrows his eyebrows, not understanding what the problem is, but not pressing on him to continue either. Donghyuck appreciates it, he feels like his head might explode if he tried analysing his feelings further.

“Fine, we don’t have to work on the music project right now,” Mark caves, sinking into his chair. “What  _ do  _ you want to do?”

It’s a  _ big  _ question, and he actually has to let himself  _ think _ , as taxing as that sounds. He pauses for a moment before letting himself fall back down onto the bed, spreading his limbs out like a starfish, legs still dangling off the side.  _ Is this how that guy from Finding Nemo felt? _

“I want to  _ sing.” _

It’s a simple statement, despite how long it took him to come to the conclusion, but it’s what he wants to do - it’s what he  _ always  _ wants to do.

He lifts his head up a bit to gauge Mark’s reaction. The other doesn’t seem surprised, although the frustration is still evident on his face. He’s thinking though, Donghyuck can tell by the twist in his lips and the furrow in the brow. He can tell when Mark comes up with an idea worth discussing too, his eyes wide and twinkling with something akin to  _ hope.  _

“Do you wanna sing for one of my tracks?”

“That….” Donghyuck begins, excitement building up in him, “ _ That’s one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard.  _ Show me some of your tracks! _ ” _

Mark smiles at him,  _ finally,  _ and then he’s swiveling back to face his laptop, opening the document containing his music. He opens up a file titled  _ ‘falling for you’ _ , and Donghyuck listens to it eagerly.

It’s a  _ nice  _ song. It’s simple and easy on the ears and it’s definitely something he would consider doing a cover of, but there’s something about the vocals that makes his chest feel  _ iffy.  _

_ I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you _

_ I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you _

_ If I told you just how I felt _

It’s full of pinks and shades of warmth and soft clouds of oranges as the sun sets in the background, but it’s also full of an underlying acceptance of hopelessness that makes him ache. The lyrics depict someone coming to terms with a love that shouldn’t have happened, that’s  _ not going _ to happen, as if the ending was pre-written to fail without even trying. 

The singer’s voice is deep, and warm, and it’s sad despite how upbeat the song is, as if the lyrics he sang weren’t just words he had to sing, but words that conveyed the message that he’d rather suffocate in his own feelings than to lose the one he loved. 

Although Donghyuck has never experienced a love that hurts like this, it’s like he understands the emotions in the song, like he’s gone through them himself, and before he knows it, the song is over. He’s met with expectation in Mark’s eyes, eager to know what he thinks. 

“ _ Dude _ ,” he begins with wide eyes and a big smile, “ _ I like.” _

It’s simple and doesn’t cover what he actually  _ likes  _ about the track, but it’s really all his brain can conjure, and he hopes it’s enough.

Mark doesn’t seem to mind the shortness of his answer though, giving a small laugh and smile as thanks before showing a few more of his tracks.

They’re all of the same kind, but they don’t feel like anything he wants to convey just yet. The emotions he has for the songs aren’t right, and it nearly feels wrong of him to sing something he doesn’t quite mean. 

He rummages through his brain for  _ something  _ to be an alternative, and he gasps in surprise when he finds it.

“Can we try to write something together? Create something new?” He asks with an unsureness laced with anticipation. He doesn’t think Mark is going to say no, not with how eager he was for the music project, but he’s still wary as the anxiety of a possible rejection hangs in the air.

Mark says yes with nearly as much enthusiasm as Donghyuck  _ (thank fuck),  _ and he loses all filter on his mouth as he relates the message that he wants to put into the song. The other nods eagerly as he jots down ideas on a google doc to not lose track of what they’ve said.

They don’t stop working on the track apart from boiling a few cups of instant noodles to share between them when their stomachs start growling, and it’s  _ fun  _ and everything that Donghyuck loves about song-writing.

It’s full of experiments as Mark tries using different software tools for the first time. It’s exciting as they discuss the flow of the lyrics, the gasps as they realise how a section of it should progress, and it’s only a  _ little  _ frustrating when his voice doesn’t perfectly portray what they had in mind the first time they record it. They power through it all though, because they’re two uncontrollable young adults and  _ the grind never stops _ .

It isn’t until the recordings are done and there’s only a few finishing touches left that they realise they’ve stayed up the whole night, the glow of their phones telling them it’s already  _ 5am  _ and they can see the peak of the sun that they agree  _ “oh shit, we should probably sleep”  _ and that  _ maybe, yeah, the grind should’ve stopped a while ago.  _

Donghyuck ends up sleeping on a foldable mattress next to Mark’s bed with his jacket as a make-shift blanket, humming the lyrics of the song as he drifts off. __

_ It goes _

_ La la la la la la la la _

_ La la la la la la la la _

_ Ooh, ooh _

_ That's how it goes _

It has lyrics that he’s been wanting to write about for awhile, and it’s near  _ fate  _ that Renjun’s birthday was the following Monday. It’s the perfect birthday gift for him, and although the Blue Neighbourhood vinyl sits somewhere in his dorm, there’s no limit to showering his friends with the love they deserve.

_ If things go bad for you _

_ Then things are going bad for me _

_ We're in the same together _

_ I couldn't think of a better team _

-... . .. -. --. / -... .-. --- ...

It’s after midnight when the track gets uploaded, despite Donghyuck’s goal of posting it  _ right  _ at 12am. 

It didn’t really help that both he and Mark had woken up at 6pm only to realise that the laptop had  _ died  _ when they were sleeping because Mark forgot to  _ plug in the charger _ . He nearly cried because  _ that was his child _ , but after the familiar tune of the Windows start-up sound resounded through the room, it was a cry of relief when they saw that everything was still intact, and they dropped everything (they didn’t have anything else to do honestly) to finish the song.

The finished product was celebrated with  _ more  _ packets of instant noodles because it’s  _ easy  _ and  _ convenient  _ and also the  _ only thing _ in Mark’s cupboards, and Donghyuck makes a mental note to shout him a meal sometime. 

Mark agrees to the song getting uploaded onto his channel when he asks, and it’s only after everything has been sent, Donghyuck now in his own dorm ready to post it that he realises with dread that he’s  _ missing something.  _

“Dude,” is the first thing Donghyuck says when a tiny ‘ _ hello?’  _ comes through the phone.

_ “‘Hi, Renjun. How are you?’ Is that too hard to say, Hyuck?” _

“Sorry,” Donghyuck says sheepishly and clears his throat, “How did your assignment go?”

_ “It was alright, finished it with three hours to spare, my dude,”  _ the ruffling of bed sheets echoes through the static of the phone,  _ “Why’d you call? Is something up?” _

“How soon can you get me a design?”

_ “You called me for that? Why didn’t you just text?” _

“Because I’m  _ really  _ excited for this one and I wanna post it a-sap and it’s  _ really important.” _

Renjun hums,  _ “I have a few designs already done if you wanna flick through those first.” _

“Ooh, yes please,” Donghyuck fights to keep his excitement under control, fingers mindlessly tapping his laptop.

_ “If that’s all you wanted _ ,” Renjun yawns,  _ “I’m gonna hang up. It’s already twelve so I’m gonna knock out.” _

“Wait, one more thing before you sleep.”

_ “What?” _

“Happy birthday, my dude,” Donghyuck smiles into the phone as he speaks, even though Renjun can’t see him, “I’ll send you some more birthday stuff later but for now just know that I love you lots and I hope the world treats you well - now and always.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Donghyuck can nearly  _ hear  _ the smile crawl onto Renjun’s face with the tiny giggle he gives,  _ “Thanks, Hyuck. I really appreciate it. I love you too, my dude.” _

Donghyuck laughs at the unusual show of affection that only sleepy-Renjun can give, “Sleep well.”

_ “You too, night.” _

Soon after the call ends, he receives the designs Renjun’s done in preparation for his next video. They’re just small doodles of animals and flowers, nothing unusual to the previous cover art that Renjun has done for him before. When he swipes through them, he’s drawn to the sketch of a red fox in a field full of violets. He’s not sure why it feels right, but it just  _ does _ , so after he sends a confirmation text back with the design he’s chosen, he’s already slapping the song straight onto the image to create a video. 

He fills the description with words of love for Renjun, a slight overuse of the words  _ my dude  _ scattered around the message, but with hooded eyes he doesn’t bother rereading it before he presses upload and waits for the video to get processed. When it finally goes through, his eyes are already closing despite waking up only six hours ago, and he hopes Renjun likes the song, hopes the message was conveyed, and hopes that his listeners stop commenting  _ “is haechan dead?”  _ on his videos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter up :] i honestly struggled finding the right tone for this so it took me a Hot Minute to write, but i'm pretty satisfied with the end result :] 
> 
> as always stay safe, stay at home if you can, and i hope you enjoyed! <3
> 
> oh also i opened a new [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/fIowerzens) if u wanted to leave stuff :D
> 
> comments and kudos are and will always be appreciated :D <3
> 
> oh also !!!!! i saw someone bookmark with morse code and i would like to give u a hug bc that literally made my entire week thank u !!


	4. i don't want to watch the world end with another gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck gets threatened by moomin with a knife, Jaehyun confesses (definitely not clickbait), and some shit goes on at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw food
> 
> lmk if there's other stuff i should tag !

It’s Monday afternoon when Donghyuck strolls into the radio club room by himself _._ Mark had disappeared after class, something about having a consultation with one of his tutors, and they agreed to meet up at the club room after they’d both gotten some lunch. 

He’s holding an already bitten-into burrito in one hand as he nods to Jaehyun and Johnny discussing something in the corner. The other hand plops his backpack down on one of the tables as he sits down and unzips it, getting his laptop out and plugging his earphones into the device. He opens the mp3 file for _falling for you_ (which Mark had graciously sent him), checking his emails as he continues eating away at his burrito. He’s halfway through the song when he hears a distant call of his name, and he looks up whilst taking an earbud out.

Jaehyun stands across from him with his arms perched on the table, and a curious smile on his face. Donghyuck glances to the corner that he was in previously, moderately surprised that Johnny had somehow disappeared.

“I like your taste in music,” is what he says when Donghyuck holds his gaze, and he feels his cheeks burn at the realisation that he can hear it even though these are his _good_ earphones.

“Sorry, was it too loud?” He apologises, desperately lowering the volume. All he gets in response is a small laugh before Jaehyun walks around to sit next to him and reaches out, motioning for him to give an earbud.

“I haven’t heard this in ages,” Jaehyun hums when he puts in the earbud, fingers mindlessly tapping the table to the beat of the song. His eyes have a faraway look in them that Donghyuck wants to ask about, but they’re not close enough for that, and he doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries. He sounds nostalgic, albeit sad, “It really feels like forever ago.”

The curiosity must be evident, because Jaehyun laughs when he looks at him (either that or he has some rice from the burrito on his face), and it’s a light laugh, all airy yet low, and it’s quickly becoming one of Donghyuck’s favourite sounds. He takes another bite to distract himself because he is _not_ going to dive into the implications of that realisation when the guy is sitting less than a ruler’s length away from him.

“I have a lot of memories associated with the recording of it so I don’t really listen to it.”

Donghyuck makes a confused sound around his mouthful.

“I sang this,” Jaehyun explains, tapping the earbud lodged in his ear. 

Donghyuck chokes. His brain is a mixture of _‘what the fuck?’_ and _‘oh my god he probably sang this thinking about Johnny’_ and _‘will I ever be able to listen to this the same way again?’._

He somehow manages to pause the song mid-choke, and he accidentally unplugs his earphones as he grabs his water bottle.

“Damn, Hyuck. One second without me and you’re already dying?”

Donghyuck glares at the intruder with watery eyes, still coughing with Jaehyun gently patting his back as Mark enters the room, taking the other seat next to him. He manages to wash it down, and although his throat still burns and he feels _fucked,_ he’s otherwise fine.

“What are you guys up to?” Mark asks, mostly directing the question to Jaehyun. Donghyuck internally thanks him because if he opened his mouth to speak he would probably sound something similar to a crow.

“We were listening to that track you asked me to sing in high school,” Jaehyun responds, his hand _still_ on Donghyuck’s back, but the warmth is nice, and he holds himself from pressing against it because that would be _weird_.

Mark has an unexplainable expression on his face that looks nearly remorseful as he nods before he focuses on Donghyuck, “I forgot to mention it this morning, but you spelled my name wrong for the _la la la_ credits just to let you know.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” he apologises, feeling guilty as he takes another sip of water, “I’ll change it soon.”

“Thanks, also, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” Mark nudges his shoulder with a grin. It’s not a question but a statement, and it nearly causes him to choke on his burrito again. _What._

“You have a boyfriend?” Jaehyun asks as he removes his hand from Donghyuck’s back, and he tries not to sulk at the loss of contact.

“I don’t,” Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow as he looks at Mark, “What made you think that?”

“Oh,” Mark replies, eyes wide in genuine surprise, “The message you wrote in the description for our song? All the comments were talking about it.”

“What?” 

“Yeah, haven’t you looked at it yet?”

“No?” Donghyuck replies with mild panic. He sets his burrito down and ignores the wince Mark gives him when some of the filling falls onto the table, scrambling to open youtube on his laptop. “I usually wait a day after I post before I do.”

He pays no attention to the confused look on Jaehyun’s face when he brings the video for _la la la_ up, and scrolls through the comments, the majority just different variations of congratulatory messages for having a _boyfriend._ He thinks he prefers the comments asking if he was _dead._

He hasn’t received anything from Renjun yet because the guy is probably sleeping in as some sort of birthday gift _for himself_ , but just as he thinks this, as if _summoned_ , a notification from ‘ _moomin with a knife’_ pops up on the messenger app, the preview threatening him with the words, _‘what the fuck were you on you fuc….’_

He forgoes the message, and clicks the drop arrow of the description box, reading the absolute _mess_ of a birthday message he left, unease dripping through his veins. 

_‘my dude, my dude, my dude. you are so cool, so nice, so bloody cute. you are th3 light of my life, the apple of my EYEEE, you are my dud... where the bloodfy hell would I be without you, my dude??? HAPPY BIRTHDAAY to my one and only dude;;;;; the omly dude to ever dude. everrrr. my dude you are actually… my dude...I LOVE YOU, my dude. enjoy your presents ;)) <33332 wo ai ni.... you ai wo hhhahha shengri kuaile (that’s chinese for happy birthday but yuo would know that bc youre chinese haha) love from….. YOUR dude :)) ,,,,<33333333333334 _

_Btw i made a new friend at uni named mreok liiiii and we wrote this tgt !!1!1!’_

Donghyuck is going to scream. Donghyuck is _actually_ going to scream. 

Judging by the view count, more than fifty thousand people have most likely misunderstood his _completely platonic_ love letter to Renjun, and all that is going through his mind is _‘fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck’._

It’s Mark who breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Hey, it might not even be that bad?” he tries to soothe and winces at how his voice pitches up, “It’s just a misunderstanding! At least it’s not like _Arms_.”

Donghyuck gives him a dirty look for bringing up _Arms_ , but reminds himself to breathe because this isn’t the end of the world, and Mark’s _right._ It’s _just_ a misunderstanding. It’s not even a _bad_ misunderstanding. 

He spares a glance at Jaehyun who blinks for a moment, the smile on his face seemingly frozen in place as his eyebrows knit together. 

He looks at the screen, then to Donghyuck, then back to the screen to Mark, then back to the screen with his mouth open. Donghyuck can’t help but bring his hand up to close his mouth, and that seems to bring him back, ears tinting a shy shade of red.

_“You’re_ Haechan,” Jaehyun exclaims as if he can’t quite process it, and then he gives a blinding smile that reaches his eyes, dimples deepening, contrasting _greatly_ to the emotions of _dread_ swirling in Donghyuck, “Bro, I literally have your notifications on? I listened to it right after you posted it last night!”

“Wait, seriously?” He gasps, and his entire mood changes because even though he just got _bro-zoned, Jaehyun has his notifications on. Holy Fuck_. _Nothing can top this._

“Yeah!” Jaehyun laughs, nose scrunching, “I found your channel like last year? The way you always sound so genuine in your songs gave me the warm and fuzzies and I’ve been in love with you ever since.”

Donghyuck’s cheeks flush and Mark snorts. _Something just topped it._

“I mean,” Jaehyun hurriedly says with panic evident in his voice after realising his word choice, ears turning a _deeper_ shade of rade _,_ “Your voice! I fell in love with your voice!”

Donghyuck clears his throat, cheeks _burning,_ but he powers through his reply since he’s not _rude,_ “Thanks. I heard that you recommended one of my covers to Mark but I didn’t realise you were like… _subscribed.”_

“Oh, yeah, _haha_ ,” Jaehyun awkwardly laughs before stopping and narrowing his eyes at Mark, “Wait, _you knew?”_

Mark shrugs with a timid smile. 

_This is unexpected,_ Donghyuck thinks as he looks between the two. He was anticipating for Mark to tell Jaehyun, although he never voiced it, but he’s also _kinda_ happy that he kept it a secret? It makes him feel like a superhero _._

He’s been able to keep his personal life separate from whatever he posted as Haechan so far, never sharing any identifiable features of himself apart from his voice in his songs and covers, but he’s starting to debate if that was the right decision. His nearly one hundred thousand subscribers don’t seem to mind not knowing what he looks like (or at least the ones that don’t keep asking for his social media), but as he gets more invested into his career as a singer… It’s a lot to think about.

“Oh, also,” Donghyuck turns to Jaehyun with a gleam of wonder in his eyes, “I didn’t know you could sing like that! I think _I_ fell in love with _your_ voice!”

_“Right?_ He used to train to be an idol!” Mark begins enthusiastically, almost proud, arms waving before he drops them suddenly and that remorseful expression from before returns. _What?_

“You used to be a trainee?” He’s fascinated by this, but it also appears to be the cause of Mark’s drastic change in mood so he treats it with caution. He forgets that they’ve known each other for _years_ sometimes, that they were neighbours long before university, and that they share experiences that Donghyuck may never be privy to.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun says with softened eyes directed at Mark staring at his clenched fists in his lap, “But that’s in the past now, and I’m really happy with where I am now - just one more year until I’m a qualified physiotherapist.”

The air is tense as the conversation stops. He doesn’t really know what to say, what with Mark looking like he’s about to _cry_ , and he lowkey beats himself up for this being his first conversation about something not uni-related with Jaehyun even though it was supposed to be an innocent topic. He glares at his burrito lying on the table.

The staleness in the air is interrupted by the curse Johnny lets out once he trips over a chair in the corner of the room he was in before, now with a cup of coffee. Donghyuck honestly doesn’t know _where_ he came from and _how_ he got there with no one noticing, but it seems to break everyone out of whatever emotional trance they were in, with Mark being the first to speak.

“Bro, how the fuck did-” 

“Language.”

“Sorry,” Mark half-heartedly says, voice dry, _“How the fucketh did thee get there?”_

“I have my ways,” Johnny says cryptically as he leans against the wall, swirling his takeaway coffee cup like it’s a glass of wine.

Everyone stares at him, unamused.

“Fine, I walked through the door like just then,” he sighs and raises a brow, “Happy?”

“Hmm,” Jaehyun hums before turning back to Mark, “Why didn’t you tell me Donghyuck was Haechan?”

“Oh,” Mark laughs nervously, raising his shoulders in a shrug, “I thought it would be fun to let you find out yourself?”

Donghyuck wraps an arm around his shoulder and leans in with an eyebrow raised, “And why is that?”

_“Yeah, Mark?”_ Jaehyun narrows his eyes, _“Why is that?”_

_“Yeah, Mark?”_ Johnny joins in.

He squirms out of Donghyuck’s hold and clears his throat with a blush, “Look, what matters is that now everyone knows! Who cares about the _whozits and whatzits galore_...”

“Did you just... _quote ‘The Little Mermaid’?”_

“ _Yes,”_ Mark sighs exasperatedly back to him, “Can we _please_ just _move on_ or something? All this attention on me is bad for my skin.”

“Since when did you care about your skin?” Johnny mutters, but doesn’t wait for an answer as he gives them a more serious look that tells them he’s about to go all _radio club president_ , “But I agree, I’m gonna take this opportunity to ask about how the music project is going.”

“Well…” Mark begins and sends Donghyuck a nervous look. _God,_ they haven’t even started it yet because they got too carried away writing _la la la._

“It’s going great!” Donghyuck pulls from his ass with a giant smile.

“Yeah! It’s going… _So great,”_ Mark goes along, exaggerating every other word, “ _Like, so, so great._ Like, you wouldn’t _believe_ how _great_ it’s going.”

“O...kay?” Johnny says with an unsure smile, “That’s good to hear I guess. Remember that if you need any help Taeil and Doyoung are just one text away.”

Mark and Donghyuck nod and let out sighs of relief.

“Wait, there’s another thing I wanna ask,” Jaehyun voices.

Mark and Donghyuck freeze as they look at him.

“Would it be alright if we played some of your songs on the radio? Both of you?”

Donghyuck looks at Mark, both of them reflecting the same level as enthusiasm, and then he turns back to Jaehyun, agreeing eagerly, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Perfect!” Jaehyun smiles, slams his palms down on the table, and stands up to go to Johnny to continue discussing whatever it was before Johnny went to get coffee. 

He has this air of sweetness around him when he’s over there, _glowing_ as Johnny makes him laugh and smile, and Donghyuck doesn’t even realise he’s staring until Jaehyun meets his eyes with warmth, and his chest feels like it just catapulted his heart into another dimension.

He should probably get that checked out.

-.. --- -.- .. -.. --- -.- ..

Donghyuck did not know what he was expecting to find when he walked out of the backroom of Vinyl Culture Records the following Thursday, but it was definitely _not_ to see Jungwoo and _Jaehyun_ laughing together like they were _old friends_ or something.

_Wait, oh my god,_ Donghyuck’s brain begins to think before he waves it off, _nah, no way._

Jaemin walks into him whilst holding a box of vinyls right at this moment, because he had decided that stopping halfway through the door to stare at his brotherly figure and reason for his heart palpitations for the past three weeks was somehow a _good idea_.

The crash didn’t cause the box to fall (thankfully) _,_ but it does create a small commotion as Jaemin tells him to _get his hot ass out of the way_ , and Jungwoo snaps his head in their direction with what Donghyuck likes to call his _manager eyes._ This causes Jaehyun to look at them too, and he mirrors the surprise that Donghyuck feels when they make eye contact before he smiles wide enough for his dimples to show, and Donghyuck’s heart just _can’t get a bloody break, can it?_

“ _Hyuck!”_ Jaemin harshly whispers from behind him, excitement evident in his voice, _“That’s the hot customer from last week!”_

_Ah, fuck._

_Of course he is._

He manages to send a polite smile back before helping Jaemin restock the vinyls, and he can _feel_ both Jaehyun and Jungwoo staring into the back of his head as he does so. They’re probably talking about him too, and although he hasn’t seen Jaehyun since Monday and is incredibly deprived of him, now he has to work through knowing that his _current crush_ and _Jungwoo’s_ _ex_ are the same person. He could deal with the way Jaehyun glows whenever Johnny is near, but now this? _God._ He might just give up.

Jaehyun is still loitering around the store when Jungwoo goes into the backroom, and he’s so bloody _good-looking_ that Donghyuck can’t seem to tear his eyes away _._

“I _told you_ he was _tall and hot.”_

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck sighs and caves into his Jaehyun-addiction, “I’m gonna go say hi to him.”

He decides to ignore the confused _“huh”_ Jaemin gives him and walks over to where Jaehyun is studying the different record players.

“Did you need any help?” He asks with his _customer service_ voice, and a grin unconsciously makes its way onto his face like a charm when Jaehyun turns to him with his eyes twinkling. It’s their first time seeing each other outside of campus, and although he’s dressed normally, the image of Jaehyun in this space is something that he wants to tattoo behind his eyelids.

“Nah, I’m good, but,” Jaehyun beams as he remembers something, “It’s perfect that I ran into you here. I was about to text you that we’re gonna be playing _la la la_ on tomorrow’s broadcast. Are you gonna be there?”

_“Shit, tomorrow?”_ Donghyuck groans, “I have a friend’s birthday thing to go to so I can’t. _Damn.”_

“Oh,” Jaehyun’s eyes dim a little in disappointment but the corners of his mouth still turn upward, “I can ask to see if they’ll play it next week instead? Doyoung might need to change the script but it’s not that big of a deal.”

“What?” Donghyuck gasps, “Nah, it’s fine. I’m sure there’ll be more opportunities in the future or something.”

“You sure?” 

“Positive.”

“Alright, then,” Jaehyun says with a small frown before looking at his watch, the time reading 1pm, “When does your shift end?”

“Like four or five?” Donghyuck replies unsurely, “It depends on how busy it gets later.”

“Ah, shoot. I have class at three.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun sighs and gives an hopeful smile, “Do you have a break soon or something?”

“I already took it…” he trails off with disappointment, and then optimistically, “Maybe next time?”

Jaehyun nods, satisfied with the promise of _next time_ , “Well, nothing you can do about that. I’ll just head off, don’t wanna keep you from working or something.”

“Oh,” he replies again. He really _doesn’t_ want him to leave but it’s probably for the best. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Probably,” Jaehyun grins back, and then he’s walking away with a warm tilt of his lips, “See ya, Hyuck.”

_Hyuck. Hyuck. Hyuck. Hyuck._

_He called him Hyuck._

It usually sounds like the noise Goofy makes, but when _Jaehyun_ says it, it sounds like… _God,_ it sounds like he’s just won the fucking lottery. 

It’s only after Jaehyun leaves the store and Donghyuck turns around with a _goofy_ smile _,_ that he realises that both Jaemin and Jungwoo have been staring at him with excitement in their eyes. He walks over to them with a sigh.

_“So,”_ Jungwoo starts, both him and Jaemin wiggling their eyebrows, _“Jaehyun, huh?”_

Donghyuck blushes and fiddles with the nearest vinyl display to distract himself from the conversation, but then he remembers that Jaehyun is _Jungwoo’s ex_ and now he just feels guilt-ridden _._

“Hey,” Jungwoo says a bit more seriously but still teasing when he sees the unsure expression on his face, “I think you should go for it.”

He’s _confused,_ “But Jaehyun’s your ex?”

“And? He’s still a friend and good person,” Jungwoo replies with a comforting tone, “Aren’t _you_ good friends with _your_ ex?”

It eases him a little, and his shoulders feel just that bit lighter.

Although Jeno is his ex, he’s also one of his closest friends despite everything that they’ve gone through together. On the contrary, it’s _because_ they went through everything together that they’re so close. He wants to give him the world _(platonically, of course),_ and if he were to fall in love with someone dear to him, well, he values their friendship a lot more than the _fate of the world_ , to say the least.

“Just to be clear,” Jaemin cuts in, holding his palms up as if visualising a mind map, “Jaehyun and Jungwoo used to date and now Donghyuck wants to date Jaehyun, who is also the hot customer that _I_ wanted to be with last week?”

“Yep,” Jungwoo pops the p with a cheery smile.

“Ok, cool, cool,” Jaemin nods his head before giving a cheeky grin, “Any other tall and hot people you could hit me up with, Jungwoo?”

“No,” Jungwoo gives him an unamused look as he throws a cloth at him to end the conversation, “And get back to work.”

Donghyuck snorts at them before staring longingly at the doorway to the store like Ariel when she sees Prince Eric for the first time. 

The image of Jaehyun inside the store just like any other customer gave him so much content that he can’t help but imagine what they would do if he wasn’t working right now. They would probably be having lunch or something before Jaehyun has to head off to class, maybe they would even talk about vinyls? It coats his chest with a warmth that feels so welcome and he realises, _oh_ , he _can’t_ give this up even if he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i really zoomed through this one haha it's amazing what strangers on the internet complimenting you can do! before you ask, yes, i did watch the little mermaid recently because that was just one of the many things my childhood was composed of. i hope this chapter was enjoyable - even though it's not as littered with humour. 
> 
> also i kept listening to tiger inside (which is amazing btw) so you should probably stream it as thanks for getting a fast chapter <33
> 
> as always stay safe and inside if you can ! :D <3
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated :] <3
> 
> and if interested:  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/fIowerzens)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/flowerzens)


	5. where the sea gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The obligatory beach episode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw drinking
> 
> \--
> 
> [chanting] time skip ! time skip ! time skip !

Mid-semester break.

Donghyuck could cry at the words. 

Six weeks into his university life and he finally, _finally_ , gets a break from assignments and _work._

A wise man (Donghyuck) once said that “a well-deserved break should be celebrated properly.” 

He strongly believes in this statement, and although there wasn’t really a goal in mind for this trip apart from getting drunk and _vibing,_ it’s a very, _very_ welcome escape. 

It had started off with a simple _“wouldn’t it be fun to get away for a few days?”_ that snowballed into vigorous planning on Renjun’s part despite being an _art_ student who pulls all-nighters for his assignments. It was pure luck that all their breaks aligned (given that Jeno and Renjun go to a different uni and Chenle and Jisung are still in year twelve), and even _luckier_ that Jeno’s birthday happened to be during the time frame.

They had taken the train to some nearby _secluded_ beach because it’s _Autumn,_ it's not even twenty degrees _(celcius because who uses farenheit),_ and who the fuck goes to the beach in Autumn? Their airbnb was walking distance away, a decent apartment large enough for the five of them. Chenle and Jisung had taken the queen bed, Jeno the sofa bed (because he offered and who were they to say no), leaving Renjun and Donghyuck to share the last room that consisted of two singles (ironically). 

Everything was perfect, really.

At least, _it would be_ if the entire student population wasn’t _also_ on holidays with the same train of thought _._

It's cold as they walk along the beach, the wind snapping at them and the sand prickling their legs as they look for a place to set up their _shit,_ and honestly, why the _fuck_ are there so many people here? He sighs and looks up at the mildly grey clouds, at least the weather forecast said it wasn’t going to rain.

Chenle and Jisung laugh as they swing their hands together in their own world, uncaring of all the children and their respective parents scattered around the beach. Donghyuck can't remember the last time he saw so many kids in one place. He doesn’t like it that much, wincing as he sees a young girl cry as her older brother gets scolded by who he assumes to be their mother. 

He can see the mild regret on Renjun's face as they walk further along the shoreline, the curse on his lips when he realises that he forgot to account that Chenle and Jisung being on school holidays meant that _everyone else_ was on school holidays too - but in Renjun’s defense, none of them did.

At least Jeno looks happy, he thinks, noting the way he’s stopped at least five times since they walked onto the beach to pat the dogs that run up to him. His brain quietly supplies, _"hey Jaehyun mentioned he loves dogs once"_ and really? Give him a break, brain. This trip was going to be just them, the beach, and the screaming children - there’s no time for _gay yearning._

They eventually find a spot, although a bit tight for all of them to fit, they make it work. They have a square the size of two beach towels which means that none of them can really lie down, instead making a pile of their bags in the middle, packets of chips strewn around it. It’s suddenly a lot less loud when they finish setting it up and everyone sits around the pile, to Donghyuck’s confusion. He’s surprised to see that families are starting to pack up and leave when he looks at their surroundings, and a bit annoyed that they walked all this way for nothing. 

It doesn’t last long though as Jisung complains about a _wetness_ on his cheeks. Renjun tells him he’s probably just _imagining_ it, but then Jeno feels it too, and then it’s _pouring rain._

_Well this is nice,_ he thinks as they pack up their stuff, at least there aren’t any children screaming.

A child screams.

Donghyuck is going to boycott his weather forecast app.

.--- .- . .... -.-- ..- -.

The second day is when they decide to visit the Asian grocery, Renjun and Jeno returning with a bulk pack of shin ramyun, bottles of soju and snacks that were requested, including sunflower seeds (which definitely does not remind Donghyuck of Jaehyun at all). The other team (Jisung, Chenle and Donghyuck) were in charge of going to the supermarket (because leaving him with the underaged pals is a great idea), buying cereal and pasta and other western products that have been ingrained into their diet. The cupboards are honestly looking a lot fuller than Donghyuck recalls _any_ of their cupboards being, and he’s kinda proud of them for this.

The sky is dark and cloudy today too. In this small part of the world, the only real tourist attraction is the beach, so after everyone returns from their respective grocery stores, it’s another day stuck inside. 

Donghyuck supposes a little gay yearning couldn’t hurt that much as he sprawls himself over the couch, scrolling through Jaehyun’s instagram feed. He smiles when he sees the collection of photos from the _Neon Nights Orientation_ powerpoint.

He had asked for his Instagram before mid-sem, out of _politeness_ because in reality he'd already found it after searching through Jungwoo's followings out of _pure_ curiosity. He'd found all the other radio club member's accounts too, chucking them all a follow through Jaehyun. Most of them have accepted, and some, like Ten and Taeyong, whose accounts are public for _business-related_ dance reasons, have requested to follow him back on their private accounts.

It's only been four days since Donghyuck had last seen Jaehyun at Friday night's broadcast, and it's been a few weeks since he had begun frequenting Vinyl Culture Records. He can proudly say that they’re _friends_ now, with how often they’ve been seeing each other around, whether it be on campus, at the records store, or even during his work breaks. 

They can manage a decent conversation without it getting awkward, which is probably why he feels a slight ache underneath the excitement of spending a few days at the beach with his friends. He’s been getting to know about the kind of person Jaehyun is, and he wants to learn more about him - not just as the really attractive guy who’s in love with his best friend.

It really doesn't help that his phone was lit up with the following conversation yesterday afternoon:

**_Hot tinder coworker_ **

_Jihon was looking for u today_

**_Hot ass coworker_ **

_Who??_

**_Hot tinder coworker_ **

_Jungwoo’s ex_

_Your crush_

**_Hot ass coworker_ **

_jaehyun ????_

**_Hot tinder coworker_ **

_yeah him_

_He just walked in and was like “hyuck where ??????”_

_And i was like_

_“Hyuck at beach”_

_And he was like “oh already ?? :///”_

_And i was like_

_“Damn yeah ikr? I miss him so much </3” _

_And he looked at me like “....?” and left_

**_Hot ass coworker_ **

_oh_

_fjkldsjfjd_

_HE WAS LOOKING FOR ME <33 _

_wait_

_R u texting on the job_

**_Hot tinder coworker_ **

_yeah_

_Wait dont tell jungwoo_

_hyuck_

_Hyuckkkkkkk_

_???????_

_AH FUCK JUNGWOO IS LOOKING AT ME_

_WITH HIS MANAGER EYES_

_HYUCK YOU SNITCH_

_Hot tinder coworker has changed_

_Donghyuck Lee’s nickname to_

_SNITCHES GET STITCHES_

**_SNITCHES GET STITCHES_ **

_ <3 _

Donghyuck sighs and turns his phone off after getting his Jaehyun-fix for the day, looking down at Jisung and Chenle lying on the floor in a T formation. Chenle’s head is on Jisung’s torso as they play a game on their phones in relative silence, occasionally laughing whenever Jisung loses. He wants what they have. 

“Hyuck, get up,” Jeno nudges him with his hand.

“No.”

“This is my bed, Hyuck.”

“I am aware,” he angles his body on a side as he looks up at Jeno with a small grin, motioning for him to lie down with him.

Jeno sighs and indulges him, pressing his back against Donghyuck’s chest, letting him wrap his arms around his waist. They fall into a comfortable silence, the telltale signs of Renjun cooking something with the clanging from the kitchen filling the space.

“What are you thinking about?” 

“How much I miss Jaehyun.”

“It’s only been a few days,” Jeno laughs, chest vibrating.

“I know,” Donghyuck nuzzles his head into the crook of Jeno’s neck, “Don’t you miss Sushi too?”

“I do,” he responds softly, “It’s a shame you didn’t get to meet him on Renjun’s birthday thing.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame he didn’t get to see Renjun’s rendition of _Somi’s Birthday_ at the karaoke place.”

“Hey, I _nailed_ that song,” Renjun sulks as he enters the room whilst holding a large pot, the spice of shin ramyun wafting up their noses. He places it down on the mat on the dining table, and everyone gets up as if entranced. Jeno disappears into the kitchen and returns with the bottles of soju.

.- -.-. - --- .-.

Five minutes left until day three.

Five minutes left until Jeno’s birthday.

Donghyuck is on his assigned single bed, hunched over his laptop, poised ready to upload his next song at any given moment. The description box was well thought out this time, although he’s slightly intoxicated from the soju they’d drank earlier. Renjun read over it again just in case.

This song wasn’t as easy to write as _la la la_. 

It took Mark and him nearly a month to finish it - Donghyuck had wanted to start it right after _la la la_ was uploaded, but they didn’t have a clear idea of what they wanted to convey yet, _and_ they had the music project to do (which actually went really smoothly with Taeil and Doyoung’s help - they just need to record it now).

It had taken one particularly sleepless night where Donghyuck was bored out of his mind that he revisited his messenger chat with _‘the smiliest boi’_ after their break up in year eleven. 

It wasn’t a particularly _messy_ breakup, it was mutual, but there were still hurtful things said in passing that made their relationship crack around the edges as they learnt how to be friends rather than lovers. Jeno wouldn’t let their friendship go that easily, always taking that step further to make sure he was doing alright, and it’s mainly thanks to him that they were able to come out of the whole ordeal as better, more mature people (even if they were still ultimately teenagers that could handle only so much emotional development).

He had so many things he wanted to tell Jeno but the ideas were so scrambled that none of them were viable. They eventually decided to focus on one clear message that was present in all of them - that no matter what happened, he was always there for him. It’s a song thanking him for everything, for staying by his side despite it all. It’s because they were going through it _together_ that he was able to come out the other side as someone better.

It’s one of his more emotionally filled songs, like how _Arms_ was one of his more hormonally filled songs. It makes him laugh as he compares how drastically different the two tracks are despite being written with the same person in mind.

It’s 11:58pm when Donghyuck hits the upload button, and he sends the link to Jeno as soon as it’s posted (12:01am so not exactly what he was aiming for, but it’s close enough). He’s hoping to see tears as he walks out of his and Renjun’s room around when the song should’ve finished, but the soft smile on Jeno’s face as he looks at his phone, airpods in, is good enough.

The cover is a drawing of a samoyed smelling sweet pea flowers at Renjun’s _insistence,_ and although the message in the description box is relatively short and simple, the warm expression Jeno wears tells him it’s enough.

_‘by my side_

_For someone who has been through it all with me._

_I’ll be with you through it all too._

_Happy birthday._

_With love,_

_Your H_

_Co-written with Mark Lee_

_(p.s. to those wondering: no, I do not have a boyfriend. I am incredibly single and have been for the past two years)’_

Chenle comes out of the kitchen wearing a giant smile on his face when Jeno takes his airpods out. In his hands is a paper plate holding a Freddo Frog ice cream cake, candles lit as Renjun and Jisung trail after him with concern on their faces, and it’s only then that Donghyuck thinks with horror, _why is Chenle the one carrying the cake-_

And then it falls flat onto the floor as he trips over _nothing_ right in front of the couch with a _‘whoops.’_

Jeno looks down at the cake and sighs.

“Ok, _who_ let Chenle bring out the cake?” Donghyuck groans, moving to grab paper towels to clean up the mess.

“Wait, one of the candles is still lit,” Jisung gasps, halting all movement in the room, pointing at it as if it was magic, “We need to sing _now.”_

It’s really not what any of them expected to be doing, huddling around a cake squashed onto the floor in front of the couch whilst singing happy birthday, but it’s also so uniquely _them_ that Donghyuck can’t bring himself to be surprised. 

_Given how we were all in choir together,_ Donghyuck thinks as they belt the final line, _we sound_ _pretty shit._

Jeno laughs when they try to harmonise, and well, _as long as he’s happy._

Jisung ends up cleaning it after because he _“felt bad on Chenle’s behalf.”_

Renjun scoffs when he says this, revealing that they made a bet to see if Chenle would drop the cake (if Jisung lost he had to clean it). Donghyuck laughs at them, and Jeno just cuddles a sulking Chenle with a reassuring, _“Jisung believes in you and that’s what matters.”_

It’s more bottles of soju later that they get tired, Jisung and Chenle retreating to their room first. Renjun cleans the floor _again_ when they do so because _“I do not trust that boy’s hands”_ and if Donghyuck’s being honest? _Neither does he._

Renjun goes to their room after he helps pull the sofa bed out and is satisfied that everything is okay. Donghyuck and Jeno lie on the now-transformed double bed side by side, staring up at the darkness of the room. It’s quiet between them like before, comfortable and reassuring with the presence of another person.

“Thanks for the song,” Jeno smiles.

“Thanks for staying,” Donghyuck replies as he closes his eyes.

Jeno pauses for a moment, “Can you sing it for me?”

He doesn’t answer, instead letting Jeno’s song fill the space. 

_You were there every time_

_Every time that I needed a shoulder_

_And you kept me warm_

_When my world grew darker and colder_

\--- .-.

Jisung runs excitedly into the living room with Chenle in tow, bouncing around the space and opening the blinds to the balcony.

_It’s_ _too fucking early for this_ , Donghyuck thinks as he rolls over the sofa bed, pressing his face into the pillow. Renjun comes out of their room a moment later in his striped pyjama set to see what the fuss is all about, squinting at the sunlight coming through the balcony doors whilst holding his head.

“Can everyone _please shut the fuck up?”_ Jeno groans from beside him.

_“Yeah, what the birthday boy said,”_ Donghyuck mutters.

“But _guys,”_ Jisung begins, still excited, “I know what we should do today!”

“Does it involve one hundred and four days of summer vacation?” Jeno replies, muffled by the pillow covering his face. “Maybe halfway through building a rocket we ask where Perry is?”

“Who?” Chenle asks non-committedly as he opens the balcony doors.

“The fucking platypus from Phineas and Ferb,” Renjun explains as he shoves Donghyuck to the middle of the bed so he can lie down too.

“Once again, _who?”_

Donghyuck looks at Chenle, “What do you mean?”

“What’s Phineas and Ferb?” Jisung interrupts.

Donghyuck, Jeno and Renjun share a look with one another. He thinks he might cry. _Why do they not know Phineas and Ferb?_

Renjun pouts, “Are we really that old?”

Jeno somehow wraps his arms around all of them as they lie squished together under the covers, Donghyuck sandwiched between them as he pats Renjun’s head, _“They’re just uncultured swines.”_

.--. . .-. .. ... ....

Turns out that their genius plan was to go bowling, which is where they find themselves currently. The bowling alley is relatively small with only six or so lanes, and they end up sharing the thing that brings the bowling balls back (Donghyuck doesn’t know what the machine is called) with another group of boys around their age.

Apart from not getting a single strike or spare the entire time, it’s otherwise an enjoyable night, and they even end up befriending the other group of boys. Renjun disappears somewhere after the first game, and Yangyang tells them how they came here for mid-sem (just like them!). As conversation develops, they find out that he goes to the same university as Jeno and Renjun, and the other two (Dejun and Guanheng) go to the same university as Donghyuck (small world!) _._

Jeno looks like he wants to say something when they mention this, but he doesn’t get the chance to as Renjun returns with a _new and improved_ birthday cake (it’s still a Freddo Frog ice cream cake). They end up singing the song again despite the lack of candles, and they sound _a lot_ better than they did the first time - even with the addition of three new voices. They’re able to finish the cake there as they cut it into ten slices (two for Jeno and two for Jisung because he’s a growing boy with a bottomless pit for a stomach), and it’s a nice way to end their last night in town.

Although they forget to exchange social media with the trio as they let their competitive spirits take over the next game, Donghyuck has a feeling that they’ll be able to meet again soon - it’s just a matter of when and how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowoowowow idk what is taking over me but i have been writing nonstop and have been completely ignoring my academic responsibilities since the last time i uploaded wow haha
> 
> hope everyone's weekend is going alright so far - if it's not then hopefully this cheered you up! <3
> 
> btw i thought i should mention that i don't really have a country for where this world takes place? when i write i write from my own experiences and those experiences mainly take place in melbourne? lmk where you imagine the events of this world happening though! i'm curious :] i should also mention that weather is based on melbourne bc once again experience and all that stuff :]
> 
> as always stay safe and at home if you can :D <3
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated and i would love to get to know more readers !!
> 
> if interested:  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/fIowerzens)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/flowerzens)


	6. as gay as it takes you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate does its thing, friendships aren't perfect, and Donghyuck remembers to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw argument / fighting in scene 2

_ Well,  _ Donghyuck thinks, looking at Dejun and Guanheng chatter animatedly with Sicheng,  _ this is a lot sooner than I thought it would be. _

After turning his alarm off that morning and checking his emails to see a cancellation for  _ music history  _ and confirming it with Mark, he allowed himself to fall back into his slumber, only waking up an hour or so ago. Although he’s still half-asleep and the deadline of an assignment looms over him, the promise of free food and getting to see his  _ university  _ friends after a week of mid-sem gave him the strength to drag himself out of bed which is how he finds himself on campus.

It’s nearing 4pm now, the official radio club meeting time, and he’s still hovering near the entrance of the room, unsure if he’s hallucinating the three of them together when Dejun sees him from where they’re sat at one of the tables, and surprise makes its way onto his face. He makes a quiet noise of recognition which catches Guanheng’s attention, making him look up as well.

“Donghyuck!” Guanheng says with a large smile on his face in acknowledgement. “Woah, fancy seeing you here!”

“Yeah, haha,” Donghyuck easily grins as he walks over, high-fiving them just to make sure they’re not figments of his imagination, “How’ve you guys been?”

“We’ve been alright,” Dejun pauses and then asks, “You’re part of the club?”

Donghyuck nods, and Dejun speaks again thoughtfully, “It’s weird how we’ve never seen you here.”

Sicheng speaks up when he sees the puzzled look on Donghyuck’s face, “They’re in a different radio club and I sub-in for them sometimes. Their broadcasts are on Thursdays so that’s probably why you haven’t seen each other? Hyuck usually has work.”

Dejun’s mouth forms an o-shape and he beams, “It’s such a coincidence that this is where we meet again.”

Sicheng looks questioningly between them, “Why? Where’d you guys meet last time?”

“We met during mid-sem at the beach- well, not really, we met at the bowling alley at the beach,” Guanheng explains cheerily, “I can’t wait to tell Yangyang - he wouldn’t shut up about you guys after you left.”

“Hopefully it was a good ‘shut up’?” Donghyuck says with a raised eyebrow and a teasing smile.

“Don’t worry,” Dejun waves a hand, “It was _definitely_ a good ‘shut up’ \- the guy just doesn’t know when to close his mouth when he’s excited about something.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t expect any less of him,” he smiles, recalling the mini-rant Yangyang made about how  _ fate  _ had brought them all together that night, “What are you guys doing here though?”

“Why? You want us to leave?” Dejun jokes.

Donghyuck mock-gasps, “Was it that obvious?”

Guanheng slaps his back as he laughs, “Kun hasn’t actually mentioned why we’re meeting in here today but I’m placing my bets that it has something to do with the party.”

“Party?” Donghyuck tilts his head in curiosity.

“Yep,” Dejun’s eyes light up in excitement, “Our clubs always have joint end of semester parties. They’re kinda our thing? Kun always likes to try to keep quiet about it but he can’t hide anything from us for the life of him.”

“It’s so unlike Kun to be late to something,” Sicheng mutters as he glances at his wristwatch, “He’s usually never later than two minutes early.”

“Who’s Kun?”

“Me,” a voice says from the door. Donghyuck turns around to meet him. He walks in with a taller guy too,  _ handsome,  _ and somewhat familiar although he can’t pinpoint where from. Kun smiles politely at him, “I’m the club president for Talking Visions.”

“And I’m Lucas!” the taller guy beams.

“I’m Donghyuck,” he isn’t well-versed in the other radios yet so all he offers is a small smile, but they don’t seem to mind. Lucas’ eyes light up in what Donghyuck thinks is recognition though, but he can’t be certain because he doesn’t know  _ how  _ he would know him unless Dejun or Guanheng have mentioned him before.

“Kun!” Ten yells as he walks into the room, Johnny and Jaehyun trailing after him with smiles on their faces. Donghyuck hopes he isn’t imagining the way Jaehyun’s smile grows wider when they make eye contact. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Johnny, you didn’t tell him?” Kun raises a brow as Ten gives him a half-hug.

“Nah,” Johnny laughs, naturally shaking Kun’s hand in greeting, “I haven’t actually told anyone yet.”

“What?” Ten frowns as he looks up at him.

Johnny wraps an arm around his shoulders and gives a gentle peck to his forehead to erase the downturn of his lips, “I’ll announce it once everyone arrives.”

Everyone seems to have formed small groups whilst they wait for the latecomers. Johnny and Kun discuss something in the corner - probably relevant to whatever the announcement is for, and Jaehyun looks down fascinated by Ten’s new forearm tattoo. Lucas shows Sicheng something on his phone, the both of them cooing at what Donghyuck thinks is a dog as he briefly hears a bark coming from the device. 

Donghyuck takes this opportunity to exchange contact details with Dejun and Guanheng because he is  _ not  _ going to let them slip by again, and he ends up with Yangyang’s details too, the other messaging him in record time:

**_Yangyang Liu_ **

_ SEE???? FATE!!!!  _

**_Donghyuck Lee_ **

_ I admit u may have been onto something _

**_Yangyang Liu_ **

_ duh _

_ also _

_ can u send me renjun’s deets _

**_Donghyuck Lee_ **

_ haha _

**_Yangyang Liu_ **

_??? _

_ is that a yes _

**_Donghyuck Lee_ **

_ no _

_ let fate guide u to him lol _

**_Yangyang Liu_ **

_ heart been broke so many times </3 _

_ o wait i found him  _

_ what did i say ?? fate  _

Donghyuck is in the middle of snorting at Yangyang’s texts when Jaehyun walks up to him. 

“Hey, missed you at the record’s store,” Jaehyun says with his dimples out, and  _ ah,  _ forcing himself out of bed was all worth it for this, “How was mid-sem? Anything interesting happen?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck glows, pointing to Dejun and Guanheng, “I met these guys at the bowling alley without knowing who they were!”

“I thought I recognised them on your insta stories,” Jaehyun nods to them when they give him a wave before turning back to talk to each other. “I haven’t bowled in ages.”

“Oh?” Donghyuck’s eyes light up. He knows an opportunity when he sees one, “We should go together sometime! I mean, I’m not very good but it’s fun?”

“It’s a date then,” Jaehyun casually says, the corners of his mouth turned upward. 

_ Ahahaha. _

_ He- _

“Date? Who?” Mark asks out of nowhere, causing Donghyuck to jump and glare at him.  _ Was this a brother thing? _

“We’re going bowling,” Donghyuck says with narrowed eyes, not liking where this is going.

“Oh!” Mark’s eyes twinkle like a child asking for something because they’ve been on their best behaviour, “Can I come?”

Donghyuck is about to say  _ no  _ but Jaehyun beats him to a response with a  _ “sure”,  _ much to his disappointment. He doesn’t get that much time to dwell on it though as Taeyong, Yuta and Doyoung arrive with stacks of pizza boxes.

Several empty family-sized pizza boxes later and the arrival of Taeil, Johnny and Kun officially start the meeting.

“Now that everyone’s here,” Johnny begins as he claps his hands, “I want to start this off with hoping that you all had a nice break, but I’m sure you’re all wondering why Kun and I are joining forces today so I’ll get straight to the point. Some of you may have already guessed it, but it’s time to talk about the biannual end of semester party.”

A chorus of  _ “fuck yes”  _ resounds throughout the room, someone says  _ “you can’t hide shit, Kun”  _ and Donghyuck can taste the zing of excitement in the air (or maybe it’s just the sauce from the pizza he’s currently eating). He hasn’t been to a proper party in a while - the last one was probably during orientation week? He can’t really remember.

“For now, it’s probably gonna be set on the sixth of June,” Kun clears his throat once everyone quietens down, “It’s the Saturday right after week twelve - nearly seven weeks from now.”

Donghyuck gasps with his mouth around a slice of pizza,  _ sixth of June? That’s his birthday. _

Johnny nods, “There’ll be enough beds for everyone as always, and don’t worry too much about money. As long as you help out _ ,  _ it’ll be fine. I have no issues about paying other people’s share, and we still have space left in the budget to cover a bit extra if necessary.”

“We’ll make a proper plan for it soon,” Kun continues, “We just need to know how many people are attending first so we can organise it all. For now we’re assuming that everyone is coming - if you want to invite other people just send us a message with names and we’ll sort it out.”

The meeting is relatively short this time as the main purpose was alerting everyone about the party, and the majority starts packing up to head to classes or to go home once it’s over. Mark and Donghyuck stay behind with a few others to go over the music project, their heads banging together as they laugh in excitement, scrambling to show Taeil the finished product (even though Donghyuck’s a bit displeased that Mark invited himself to his bowling date). 

The song is relatively short - the whole track is only forty seconds (first half is for the opening, second half is for the closing of the broadcast). It shouldn’t take long to present it, but after Taeil gives them the green light to show it to the others, Jaehyun quietly excuses himself to the radio booth, Ten and Johnny following him in a second after with concerned expressions.

Taeil leaves soon after to teach his  _ computer music production  _ class, and Mark and Donghyuck look at each other, sighing as they wait for the trio to come back so they can present it.

.... .- .... .-

“I’m not jealous,” is the first thing Donghyuck hears when he opens the door to the radio booth. 

It’s a small room, divided into two spaces by a wall with a large window and a door. The main space has a wide table that comfortably seats four people around the microphones that protrude from the middle of it, with a large computer monitor facing the two chairs furthest from the window. The other portion is full of controls, and it’s space connects the booth to the club room. It’s a lot smaller and can only sparingly fit three chairs positioned side by side as they face a bench attached to the wall, underneath the window. A mixing board lies on it and several other buttons and switches surround it that Donghyuck doesn’t know the purpose of. 

Mark and him were getting tired of waiting for them to come out, so he had taken it into his own hands to call them outside. He doesn’t understand  _ what  _ they could be talking about for so long, and he just wanted to show them the track, get it over and done with so he could go back to his dorm to finish his  _ actual  _ academic assignments.

The trio - Ten, Johnny and Jaehyun - are all seated in the main space. Jaehyun’s forehead rests on the desk, Ten is swiveling around on a swirly chair with an annoyed gleam in his eyes, and Johnny looks worriedly between them. Their voices are muffled through the glass.

“Just admit it, Jae,” Ten says with frustration, looking up at the ceiling, “We won’t say anything.”

None of them seem to have noticed Donghyuck’s entrance - unsurprising given how dark it is in the control portion and the growing intensity of staleness in the air. He stands still whilst holding the door, body half-inside the booth, half-inside the club room. He’s unsure if he should make his presence known, glancing back at Mark who looks just as hesitant.

“We’ll understand,” Johnny says softly, contrasting with Ten’s tone.

“No,” Jaehyun says as he raises his head, and it’s the first time Donghyuck has seen him look so agitated, “You guys obviously  _ don’t  _ understand since you’re still asking me questions about this kind of stuff.”

“We just want to help,” Ten stops swivelling around and looks at him, “You can talk to us, you know that.”

“I know, but I don’t  _ want  _ to talk about it because there’s nothing  _ to  _ talk about. I don’t want to raise my voice at you guys, but you’re making it  _ incredibly  _ hard for me not to.”

Johnny sighs as he brings a hand up to rub his eyes, “Look, I’m your best friend, Jae-”

“You don’t think I know that?” Jaehyun cuts him off, standing up from his chair as he glares down at Johnny. “Being my best friend means that you’re always there for me, that you have my back,  _ I know that -  _ but one thing you never do is  _ leave me alone  _ when I ask you to.”

Donghyuck doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like this one bit.

He has fear running through his veins when he finally closes the door. He’s already intruded this far into their conversation, a  _ private _ conversation between the three of them that most likely has  _ nothing  _ to do with him at that. He walks back to the table.

“Well, shit.” Mark says to the coldness in the room.

_ Well, shit indeed. _

This is  _ just  _ what he needs. Maybe he shouldn’t have come today after all, he thinks as he puts his head in his hands. He’s starting to get a headache - probably from sleeping in so late, and he’s probably not going to be able to do his assignments either if this keeps up. 

They’re sitting with the finished music project out on Mark’s laptop, debating if they should just show it another time when they hear an unintelligible shout from the radio booth, a door slamming, and then Jaehyun is walking straight from the booth to out of the club room with an irritated expression, not looking at either of them.

Donghyuck has half a mind to stand up, to chase after him despite his headache, but Mark grabs his arm.

“Don’t,” Mark doesn’t look at him when he says this, eyes fixed onto the table, “You’ll just get hurt if you talk to him now.”

“What?” Donghyuck takes his arm out of Mark’s hold, his head is  _ thumping, “He’s  _ the one obviously hurt by whatever went on in there. Shouldn’t someone check to see how he’s doing? Johnny and Ten have each other but Jaehyun, he- I don’t want him to be alone.”

“I know,” Mark’s voice is firm when he looks up at him, “But you should let him be.”

“What makes you so sure about that?” Donghyuck says defiantly.

“Because I  _ know  _ him, Hyuck,” his eyes are filled with exhaustion, “He’ll just lash out at you if you try to talk to him about it right now. He’ll be back soon, trust me. He’s just gone out to clear his head.”

Donghyuck takes a deep breath and walks away, “Fine.”

Mark grabs his arm again, confused, “Where are you going?”

“Back to my dorm,” he grumbles, “I have shit to do.”

... --- .-. .-. -.--

In Donghyuck’s defense, he  _ was  _ going to go back to his dorm to do his shit.

But then he saw Jaehyun.

He knows that Mark said to leave him alone, but he’s worried and he just can’t push it to the side. He’s never been good at leaving the ones he cares about because he knows better than anyone else that being by yourself in times you feel shitty absolutely  _ sucks, _ and having just  _ someone  _ there for you can work wonders. Jeno taught him that. 

He knows Jaehyun isn’t him so he can’t solve his issues, but if there’s  _ any  _ kind of comfort he can give him, then ignoring his headache and walking right up to where Jaehyun is sitting on the bench outside the communications building with his eyes closed and airpods in is worth it.

Jaehyun opens his eyes to look at him when he sits down.

“I don’t want to talk,” he closes his eyes again.

“I know,” Donghyuck replies, voice soft, “I’m not here to.”

Jaehyun doesn’t respond.

Donghyuck doesn’t really know what to do with himself now as he looks down at his hands. What did Jeno do for him? Offer his shoulder? A hug? Would that be overstepping his boundaries? He taps his foot on the ground nervously.

“Can you stop that?” Jaehyun sighs, eyes still closed.

“Just turn your volume up or something,” Donghyuck says defensively, continuing to tap his foot.

Jaehyun opens his eyes and gives him half of a glare before sighing again when he realises that Donghyuck has no plans on stopping or leaving him alone any time soon. Donghyuck raises a brow at him when he hands him one of the earbuds. 

“Put it in.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow but he does it anyway, taking the earbud and lodging it into his ear. Nothing happens. He sends Jaehyun a look of confusion. 

“You’re not listening to anything?”

“Nope,” Jaehyun closes his eyes again, not offering any explanation.

He still feels uneasy sitting here, not sure what he can actually  _ do  _ apart from offering his company. He notices Jaehyun’s steady breathing and recognises the rhythm of it as one of the breathing techniques his choir teacher taught him to do whenever he got jitters before a performance, so he follows Jaehyun’s lead and closes his eyes. He breathes in for four seconds, holds it for seven, and then breathes out for eight. He repeats this a few times, slowly feeling his headache and the tightness of worry in his chest ease away.

He loses count of how many breaths he’s taken and barely registers his head tilting forward as it grows heavier, or the gentle push that moves him closer to a body of warmth, or the soft hand that guides his head to rest on a shoulder. His thoughts are empty with only a singular wish remaining - for Jaehyun to feel even the slightest smidgen of solace that Donghyuck feels whenever they’re together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hah my finger slipped .
> 
> ok so i know a lot of u (judging by the comments i've received so far) are in this for the cute fluffy whatever funny (??) shit this fic has had in previous chapters ? so i am sorry for the lack of jokes and fluff but haha the last scene was kinda cute right haha (nervous laughter)
> 
> the past few updates have been really really fast and i wanted to post this before i'm swamped with assignments so this will be the last chapter for a hot minute (ok honestly i've already started writing chapter 8 and 9 because i'm impatient but i'm gonna start looking for the bridge that is chapter 7 in like a week so its actually not really a break)
> 
> as always stay safe and at home if you can !! comments and kudos are and will always be appreciated !!


	7. cheerios and chocolate gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking it up right where we left off

When Donghyuck awakens, the first thing he notices is the gentle ruffle of the wind in his hair, and a warmth next to him that he finds himself nuzzling into. 

The sun hides behind growing clouds of oranges and pinks as he slowly blinks his eyes open. He turns his head to see the body of warmth and shoulder he’s been resting on-  _ wait, his head is resting on a shoulder?  _ A moment passes before he remembers  _ why  _ he’s sitting on the bench outside of the communications building.

_ Jaehyun. Johnny and Ten. Fight. Fuck. _

Donghyuck jolts up-right with his eyes wide, words of apologies on his lips as a softly smiling Jaehyun raises a brow at him.  _ Well, this is embarrassing. _

“Good morning,” Jaehyun begins with a teasing grin, “Enjoy your sleep?”

“I am  _ so  _ sorry, oh my god,” Donghyuck puts his heads in his hands, “I promise I didn’t come out here with the intention of using you as a pillow.”

“Hey, it’s fine. I barely even noticed,” Jaehyun pauses a bit before continuing, his voice tinted in slight concern, “You doing okay though? You knocked out pretty fast.”

“Yeah, I’m- I just had a bit of a headache,” he replies, peeking through the gaps in his fingers, “I just need to drink water or something.”

Donghyuck shivers slightly when Jaehyun stands up, warmth gone. He sticks a hand out and Donghyuck reaches his own hand out in confusion, still dazed from his impromptu nap, placing it gently onto the outstretched palm. 

“I meant the airpods-”

“Oh! Right, yeah, of course,” Donghyuck blushes, taking the airpod lodged into his ear out and returning it.

“Let’s go find you some water,” Jaehyun says when he puts his airpods back into the case, holding a hand out  _ again  _ and if this is  _ some kind of prank- _ “Just take the hand, Hyuck.”

And it’s only then that Donghyuck realises he’s been  _ glaring  _ at said hand and snaps out of it, letting Jaehyun pull him up from the bench and  _ wow, those arms, wow.  _ They don’t actually hold hands for that long, but it’s soft and warm whilst it lasts and the gentle look in Jaehyun’s eyes is  _ so bloody nice  _ that he only bats  _ one  _ eye when the contact is gone.

They end up walking back to the radio club room because Jaehyun’s stuff is still there and  _ “free water, Hyuck”,  _ but it’s nice despite the lack of words filling the space between them.

Donghyuck shys away from the look that Mark gives him when he walks into the room with Jaehyun, instead focusing on the stack of unopened water bottles remaining from the meeting earlier. 

Jaehyun points to the door of the booth with a raised brow directed at Mark with an unspoken question, walking through it after he gets an affirmative nod back.

“I thought you were going back to your dorm?”

Donghyuck winces at Mark’s tone, fumbling with the lid of the bottle, “I was.”

“And?”

“I changed my mind.” He furrows his brows when the lid refuses to come off.

Mark sighs, grabbing the bottle from Donghyuck’s hands to open it, “So you just ignored everything I said?”

“No,” Donghyuck takes a sip, “I didn’t talk to him about it. We just sat in silence.”

Mark looks at the clock and raises a brow as he crosses his arms, “You sat in silence… for twenty minutes?”

“Oh,  _ damn,” _ Donghyuck’s eyes widen as they move to sit down in front of Mark’s laptop, the music project still displayed, “I was out for that long?”

Mark’s face twists into a frown, “What do you mean by  _ ‘out’?  _ Something happened?”

“Aha, funny story,” Donghyuck laughs nervously before finger gunning and winking, “I fell asleep on Jaehyun’s shoulder.”

“You’re telling me,” Mark pauses for emphasis, “That you _fell asleep_ on Jaehyun’s shoulder despite him _just_ having an argument with his best friend?” 

“Yep,” Donghyuck winces again,  _ well if you put it like that- _

The booth door opens and he feels himself unconsciously tense up. Jaehyun walks out with Johnny and Ten trailing behind him, all of them looking much more relaxed. They walk to a hesitant looking Mark with reassuring smiles on their faces, and it’s almost like arguments can be solved with communication! It’s amazing what talking about your issues can do. 

Donghyuck lets out a sigh of relief as Jaehyun sits down next to him.

“Hey,” Jaehyun’s expression is still gentle when he speaks, and his eyes are twinkling with a softness that Donghyuck finds himself so enamoured with, “I just wanted to say thanks for keeping me company earlier? I realised I didn’t say anything about it and well… You really didn’t have to.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck blushes, twisting the bottle cap on and off, “No biggie. I hope I wasn’t like…  _ overstepping boundaries  _ or something.”

“Nah, not at all,” Jaehyun consoles him with his ears dusting a light pink, “I think it made me clear my mind a bit? Even though we didn’t talk? I usually just sit by myself in anger and your presence brought me out of that somehow. I’m a bit sorry that you stayed despite your headache, though.”

“Don’t be,” Donghyuck smiles, “If I was able to bring you some sort of peace then I would gladly do it again,  _ because you’re worth it.” _

“You sound like a  _ L’Oreal  _ advertisement,” Ten cuts in with a laugh, “If we had ad breaks I think we know who to call now, Johnny.”

“Ghostbusters?” Johnny feigns wonder as he wraps his arms around Ten’s waist, resting his chin on top of his head. He hums slightly when an idea comes to mind, “We should do a movie night someday. That’d be fun.”

Donghyuck feels himself light up at the suggestion.

“Can we actually?” Mark’s eyes seem to sparkle, “I haven’t been to your apartment in  _ ages.  _ I’m pretty sure Kun goes there more often than I do, and I’m your  _ brother.” _

“First, Kun is  _ Ten’s  _ best friend,” Johnny narrows his eyes, “Second, you just want to see Louis.”

“And what about it? He loves me.”

“He really doesn’t, Mark,” Johnny grimaces, “I’m pretty sure he hates us.”

“That’s not true!” Ten gasps, turning around to look up at Johnny, “Name  _ one  _ time he-”

“He literally peed on my favourite pair of shoes this morning even though he  _ knows  _ where the litter box is.”

“Yeah, but-”

“What about that time he knocked Johnny’s favourite wine glass from the table?” Jaehyun joins in with a laugh, “I’m pretty sure he only likes Ten and Kun.”

“Umm, sorry to cut in, but,” Donghyuck says ununsurely, shrinking as everyone looks at him. He’s made some assumptions based off of the conversation already, but just to make sure, “Louis?”

“My cat,” Ten says fondly, pauses when Johnny raises a brow at him, and then corrects himself, “Our cat.”

“Huh, I thought Johnny would’ve been a dog person.”

“Oh, I am,” Johnny gives a tight smile, “I definitely am. I’m pretty sure Louis knows it too, but I still love him - even if he hates me.”

“It’s only been a few months,” Jaehyun waves, “I’m sure he’ll turn around and love you.”

“Yeah, exactly! He’s just getting used to you,” Ten eagerly agrees, “I mean  _ sure  _ he wasn’t like that when I lived with Kun, but I’m sure it’s fine.”

Johnny looks back at Ten, unconvinced.

“So,” Mark says after a beat, “Movie night?”

“Right,” Johnny remembers and nudges Ten, “It should be okay if we have it at ours, right?”

“I don’t see why not,” Ten agrees easily, “It might have to be during holidays though, you have a pretty big project for the station coming up don’t you?”

“One night can’t hurt,” Johnny muses, “I’ll make an event or something in the  _ Neon Nights  _ group chat.”

_ “Sweet,”  _ Jaehyun nods, “I’ll shout snacks.”

Johnny smiles gratefully back at him, “Thanks, bro.”

“Anything for you, bro,” Jaehyun replies, eyes full of adoration.

Donghyuck purses his lips as he looks between them.

“Can we show you what we made for the music project?” Donghyuck interrupts the  _ broment.  _ One more second and he might explode.

“Oh, right, yeah of course,” Johnny nods, and they all turn to face Mark’s laptop.

Mark clears his throat as they play the file. He looks nervous, Donghyuck notes, so he tries to give him a reassuring slap on the back. The little  _ “ow”  _ Mark gives in response makes him feel  _ slightly  _ bad so he gives him a gentle pat in apology as they wait for the song to finish.

_ Paradise  _ is the name of the track. They originally wanted to make it longer, but given the time constraints of the show, they decided that forty seconds was enough. It’s a calm way to start and end the broadcast, but not calm to the extent where the song is a snooze. In the words of Johnny said by Doyoung during the  _ Neon Nights orientation _ , it’s perfect for those who just want to  _ “vibe.”  _

Johnny, Jaehyun and Ten all have varying expressions as they listen to it. Jaehyun looks pleased, Ten looks excited, and Johnny,  _ well.  _

Johnny has his eyes fixed onto the laptop, no upward or downward turn of his lips, no spark of disappointment or excitement in his eyes. His arms are no longer around Ten’s waist, instead they’re crossed over his chest. His whole demeanour is neither  _ good  _ nor  _ bad.  _ It’s just… Assessing. 

Donghyuck frowns a bit. They worked  _ hard  _ on this track. He doesn’t know if Johnny just has an amazing poker face or if he thinks the track isn’t good enough, but Mark looks excited, as if he knows what’s about to happen, and Donghyuck is left feeling  _ so bloody lost.  _

“I’ll send you the track?” Mark asks Johnny with a bright smile when the last bar plays.

“Yep,” Johnny nods once, still expressionless, and then the corners of his lips tilt up and he’s breaking out into a full grin as he high fives Mark and ruffles his hair, “I knew I could count on you.”

Mark laughs, fighting his way out of Johnny’s hold and Donghyuck smiles, still not quite understanding  _ how  _ he knew what Johnny’s decision was gonna be but not quite interested enough to ask. He figures it must be some sort of  _ sibling connection.  _

“You did good too, Hyuck. I know this was a joint effort,” Johnny says, and Donghyuck beams, satiated with the recognition of his involvement in the project.

Jaehyun and Ten tell them they like the track too, and it’s really enough for Donghyuck’s ego to be fueled for the next week or so. There’s just something about people telling you they like something you’ve created, like all the cost to achieve the end product was worth it. Although he does get this all the time as Haechan, it’s nice being praised as  _ Donghyuck  _ too (which doesn’t really make sense considering they’re the same person) _. _

Mark asks if he wants to go over to his dorm after, but he’s not very interested in eating instant noodles for dinner today so he refuses, asking if he wants to go out to eat something instead - he’s been meaning to treat Mark to a meal. They ask if the others want to join too, but Johnny and Ten say that they already have  _ dinner plans,  _ and Jaehyun says that he doesn’t want to  _ intrude  _ which is  _ weird  _ considering it’s just him and Mark. He shrugs it off though, not too keen on thinking for the remainder of the night.

By the time they leave, it’s already pretty late into the night and the only open food joint on campus is the burger place, so they end up eating there. Donghyuck sees Doyoung and Taeyong chatting animatedly in the corner, but he ignores them in favour of laughing at Mark when he sulks about Lucas ditching him to be with his boyfriend for the last few days of break.

“We’ve been friends since high school and this is how he treats me? Leaving me to dwell alone in my humble abode whilst he sees his boyfriend of two months?” Mark sips angrily at his drink. There’s a sesame seed on the corner of his mouth from the earlier burger. “Unbelievable.”

“The same thing happened with me and my friends,” Donghyuck hums as he shakes the fries out of the bag and onto the tray, “I mean  _ sure  _ we spent like half of it living within five metres of one another, but  _ really? _ I thought it was meant to be  _ bros first.” _

_ “Right?”  _ Mark gasps exasperatedly, “What’s so great about having a  _ love life  _ anyway? I’m perfectly happy being single.”

“Me too,” Donghyuck lies through his teeth, ignoring all thoughts that start with  _ Jae  _ and end with  _ hyun,  _ “If all our friends are so intent on dating other people,  _ hell,  _ maybe we should just date each other.”

Mark chokes on his drink, ears a bright red. He coughs a bit before recovering.

“You’re as red as a tomato,” Donghyuck notes as he plops a fry into his mouth, ignoring the look of disgust on the other’s face as he chews with his mouth open, “You alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m,” Mark’s voice cracks. He clears his throat, “I’m fine.”

“Good, because I wouldn’t have saved you otherwise.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice-”

“Hey!” Taeyong grins as he and Doyoung walk up to them, now finished with their meal, “What are you guys up to?”

“They’re obviously here to eat,” Doyoung deadpans as he slides his jacket on. 

“It doesn’t hurt to ask,” Taeyong frowns in response.

Donghyuck laughs, “We’re just here to eat.”

Doyoung gives Taeyong a look that screams  _ ‘what’d I say?’  _ before taking the tray out of Taeyong’s hands, throwing the rubbish into the nearby bin.

“He’s such a party pooper,” Taeyong says, the frown still on his lips but there’s something akin to affection hiding behind his eyes, “We’re gonna go now, wouldn’t want to interrupt you guys.”

Donghyuck and Mark nod back with promises of “see you later!” as they leave, turning to finish their own meal.

#  ❀❀❀

Donghyuck somehow finds himself getting out of the elevator on Mark’s floor despite pressing on his own level as they talk about some anime about a girl who plays the guitar meeting another girl who plays the keyboard and how it was all just  _ fate  _ that they ran into each other. 

Neither of them had seen it yet, so Donghyuck hogs Mark’s Netflix (technically Ten’s account) and they end up binging the entire show (with a small break for instant noodles to his own dismay). 

It’s 4am.

“Dude, I-” Mark begins before rubbing his eyes. Donghyuck does the same. Both of their eyes are teary, either from their inability to control their emotions at this time from the ending of the show or because they’ve been staring at a screen for the past nine or so hours - Donghyuck is unsure. Mark forgoes what he was going to say originally, “We should sleep.”

Donghyuck thinks to himself of how this has become their new norm as he slides the foldable mattress out from under Mark’s bed, an unspoken arrangement between them. Mark opens his cupboard, reaching in and chucking the blanket Donghyuck has claimed onto it (because Mark belatedly realised that he had extra blankets the day after Donghyuck used his jacket as a blanket that first night and Donghyuck won’t let him live it down).

One of the many things with Mark’s dorm in particular was that his heater wasn’t perfect. It does it’s job, but they can’t actually adjust the temperature of it, so as the night chill rises and the heater is turned on, it ends up being a bit  _ too  _ warm. They both eventually succumb to the heat - only managing to fall asleep after haphazardly throwing their shirts off somewhere (last time this happened, Mark’s shirt landed on Donghyuck’s head).

#  ❀❀❀

“Shut the fuck up,” is the first thing Donghyuck says when he wakes up.

“Sorry,” Mark says unapologetically, packing his bag on the floor  _ right  _ next to where Donghyuck’s head lays on the mattress, “I have class but I’ll be back in like two hours or something.”

Donghyuck makes a sound of acknowledgment, rolling over to face the bed instead.

“You can sleep on my bed if you want.”

Donghyuck hums.  _ That might be a good idea, actually.  _ So he hums again, this time in determination as he powers through picking himself up to sprawl himself over Mark’s bed. He sighs into the blanket,  _ this was definitely a good idea. _

And then he knocks out.

The next time he wakes up, he really can’t be fucked getting out of Mark’s bed, so he reaches over for his phone which lays at the head of the foldable mattress, silently praising himself for being able to utilise his arm length to grab it with minimum effort.

He pulls the blankets over him at some point - too cold now that the heater is off but not cold enough for him to grab his shirt. 

He plays on his phone for a bit, checking his emails and notifications, laughing at the meme that Renjun sent to the group chat (although he’d never admit that it was actually funny). He’s in the middle of texting Jisung to get off his phone and to  _ pay attention  _ in class when he hears muffled voices at the door, and then Mark is opening the door, and Jaehyun is-

_ Jaehyun is staring at him. Why is he staring at him like that? Is something on his face?  _

_ Wait, FUCK. _

“It’s not how it looks, I swear!” Donghyuck half-yells, pulling the blanket up to cover his shoulders.

“Um,” Jaehyun offers, ears red as he turns to Mark, “Should I come back another time?”

“Huh? Why?” Mark looks confusedly between Donghyuck and Jaehyun.

_ “Mark,”  _ Donghyuck hisses,  _ “Why didn’t you tell me someone was gonna be with you?” _

“Uhh because this is  _ my  _ room?” 

“Dude, I am  _ shirtless  _ in your bed.” 

“And?”

Donghyuck glares at him.

Mark blinks once, twice, before realisation dawns on him and then-

_“Oh,”_ Mark begins, “In my defense, I thought you would be up by now.”

“Does it  _ look  _ like I’m up?”

“Well, you’re  _ awake-” _

“So should I like,” Jaehyun looks unsurely between the two of them, “Leave?”

“No,” Donghyuck sighs as Mark throws his shirt at him.  _ This is just what he needs.  _ “I’ll leave, I should shower before class.”

He doesn’t care that it’s nearly 2pm,  _ it’s way too fucking early for this. _

“Before you get the wrong idea, Jae,” Mark says with red cheeks, taking his laptop out of his bed and putting it on the desk. “We didn’t sleep together. Just, you know, if that wasn’t clear.”

Donghyuck nods and climbs out of bed, putting the shirt on as he does so. He starts gathering his things.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun says slowly, glancing at the mattress still on the floor. He doesn’t look that convinced, “Okay.”

Mark hands Jaehyun a usb, “Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“All g,” Jaehyun smiles. 

“I’m gonna leave now,” Donghyuck announces to no one in particular, moving to the door.

“Wait, I’ll leave now too actually.”

Mark raises a brow at him, “I thought you needed help with something?”

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Jaehyun waves it off, moving to where Donghyuck is opening the door, “The most important part of me coming here was getting my usb back.”

“Alright then,” Mark shrugs it off, swivelling around his chair to face his desk as Jaehyun and Donghyuck enter the hall, closing the door behind them.

The walk to the elevator is silent.

Donghyuck knows he should probably say something, but he doesn’t really know what to say when your crush looks  _ really  _ deep in thought, so he pretends to look around the hall after he presses both the up and down buttons for the elevator. 

“Are you and Mark seeing each other?”

“What?” 

“I asked if you and Mark are seeing each other,” Jaehyun repeats.

Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows and looks at him. There’s an unreadable expression on his face. Did  _ no one  _ read his little note about being  _ incredibly single  _ in the description box for  _ by my side? _

“No, we’re just friends,” Donghyuck sighs as he turns to face the elevators, “I promise I’m not dating  _ anyone.” _

Jaehyun hums, and now the air is  _ awkward  _ as they stand there in silence. Donghyuck should probably keep his mouth shut, but he’s curious.

“What’s it to you, anyway?”

It’s a dumb question, considering Mark is one of Jaehyun’s closest friends and it’s common knowledge to know who your friends are dating. He isn’t quite sure what he’s expecting either, but he’s always been a little bit dumb when it came to these kinds of things. 

“It’s just good to know,” Jaehyun shrugs just as the elevator heading down arrives. He steps inside and turns around with a small smile that does something to Donghyuck’s heart, “See you later, Hyuck.”

And then he’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first day of my midsem break (today) was spent finishing this .. here u go
> 
> as always... stay safe and at home if you can ! i hope your days have been alright since the last time i posted, but if not, i hope this managed to make you feel just that much better.
> 
> songs:  
> title is 'cheerios & chocolate milk' by Theo Kandel  
> track for neon nights is 'paradise' by NCT 127  
> forgot to mention this before but jeno's birthday track was 'by my side' by HONNE (the songs in this album are beautiful)


	8. the art of detaching one gay's heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil gives some exciting news, Jaemin is going through it, and Mark realises how much of a dumbass Donghyuck actually is.

“It’s perfect that you guys are here!” 

Donghyuck and Mark turn their heads to the door from where they’re sitting around the club room. Mark sits at one of the tables with his laptop out, whilst Donghyuck had taken it upon himself to  _ test out  _ the club room’s latest edition -  _ a giant beanbag.  _ He’s currently spread out on it, staring up at the ceiling as they wait for Johnny and Jaehyun to show up for the broadcast. Doyoung and Yuta are in the room too, both of them engrossed in the corner making some last minute changes to the script - or at least Doyoung is, Yuta is just drawing on it.

They all make varying  _ “hey, Taeil”  _ noises in acknowledgement as he walks into the room with a bounce in his steps and sits himself down next to Mark.

“I’m getting some really excited vibes from you right now,” Donghyuck says as he cranes his head up to look at him. Taeil looks unusually cheery today - not that he  _ wasn’t  _ a cheery guy. Donghyuck just always seemed to find him rushing off to teach his class or to finish his paper or to go to work. He’s a very busy man.

“That’s because I am!” Taeil gives a bright smile before continuing, nodding to Donghyuck and Mark, “I have some exciting news for you two.”

Mark’s eyebrows raise in curiosity, “What kind of exciting news?”

“I know you guys didn’t ask me to do this,” Taeil begins, “But I kinda showed your songs to my label in case something would come out of it.”

_ Oh,  _ this  _ is  _ exciting news.

“Taeil, that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Donghyuck says as he places his hands over his chest with mock tears in his eyes, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, dude, thanks,” Mark smiles at him, “What’d they say?”

“They seemed pretty interested? They said they would wait and see for a bit before contacting you. It’s looking pretty good so far though.”

He’s excited.  _ He’s so fucking excited.  _

He’s gotten offers before, but the contracts never seemed to have Donghyuck’s interests at heart, never giving him the creative freedom he wants to have with making music. He’s mentioned this to Doyoung before, the other whole-heartedly agreeing with him, telling him how thankful he was for his current label. 

“Who are you signed to again?” Donghyuck asks. He’s trying to keep his excitement on the  _ down-low  _ although it doesn’t really seem to be working as his legs kick at the beanbag, and he can feel the grin stretched across his face. Mark doesn’t look any better, cheeks a baby pink and eyes twinkling behind his glasses with a bright smile when they make eye contact.

_ “Neo U,” _ Taeil grins, “We’re just a small team of producers and artists. Doyoung is with us too.”

Donghyuck and Mark give nods in return.

“Oh, and Mark,” Taeil turns to him. Donghyuck takes this as his cue to tune out of the conversation, resuming his previous stance of staring up at the ceiling, this time with a giddy expression as he takes out his phone and opens the group chat.

**_Please stop changing the group chat name_ **

**_Ghibli character_ **

_ ok who changed it again? _

**_Sharkboy_ **

_ it wasn’t me _

**_Chopstick_ **

_ chenle it literally says “sharkboy  _

_ changed the group name” _

**_Sharkboy_ **

_ jisung who tf is sharkboy _

_ wait- _

_ WHY IS MY NICKNAME SHARKBOY?? _

_ SINCE WHEN ???  _

**_ACHOO_ **

_ GUYS YOU WON’T BELIEVE _

_ wait why am i ACHOO _

**_Dog that meows_ **

_ bless you _

**_Chopstick_ **

_ bless you _

**_Sharkboy_ **

_ bless you _

**_Ghibli character_ **

_ bless you _

**_ACHOO_ **

_ did u change it just for that _

**_Sharkboy_ **

_ yes _

_ but what aren’t we believing _

**_ACHOO_ **

_ oh _

_ uni friend is with neo u and said  _

_ they were interested in me ?!?!?!? _

_ they’re not that big but if they offer _

_ i’ll probably join them _

**_Ghibli character_ **

_ WHY DIDN’T YOU BEGIN WITH THAT TF _

_ DUDE NICEEE??? _

**_Dog that meows_ **

_ HYUCK YOURE GONNA BE FAMOUS _

_ I DATED A FAMOUS PERSON ? _

**_Chopstick_ **

_ technically he’s already famous but _

**_Sharkboy_ **

_ shut up jisung _

**_Chopstick_ **

_ for everyone’s notice  _

_ chenle sent that _

_ and then immediately apologised _

**_ACHOO_ **

_ fross _

_ gross** _

**_Ghibli character_ **

_ fross _

**_Chopstick_ **

_ fross _

**_ACHOO_ **

_ shut up _

_ go to sleep jisung _

**_Chopstick_ **

_ make me _

_ I take that back chenle just Threatened  _

_ to throw me out of his house if i  _

_ didn’t turn my phone off  _

_ farewell _

**_Ghibli character_ **

_ deserve _

**_ACHOO_ **

_ wait jaehyun just walked in  _

_ i’m gonna go too  _

_ bye _

**_Dog that meows_ **

_ simp _

**_Ghibli character_ ** _ changed  _

_ Donghyuck Lee’s nickname  _

_ to  _ **_SIMP_ **

**_Ghibli character_ **

_ simp _

Donghyuck turns his phone off as he smiles up at Jaehyun, ignoring the last messages from Renjun and Jeno  _ (even though they’re right). _

Jaehyun grins back at him with his dimples deep, nudging him to move over as he lies down on the beanbag as well, their shoulders touching. It appears that ever since he had fallen asleep on Jaehyun’s shoulder, he had unlocked a new achievement: physical contact without it getting weird. He is incredibly content with this development, he thinks as he takes jaehyun’s arm in his, using it as a portable heater. 

“You look really happy today,” Jaehyun notes, angling his head to look at him, “Did something good happen?”

“Yep!” Donghyuck begins brightly, looking up at him, “Taeil just told me that  _ Neo U  _ was interested in me.”

“Seriously?” Jaehyun’s eyes grow wide and seem to twinkle, “That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you. Did he mention anything else?”

“Not really,” Donghyuck shrugs, “No promises were made so it might not even go through, but I’m really just thankful that he brought it up.”

“I think you can be kinda confident that you’ll get it,” Jaehyun hums thoughtfully, “I mean I may be kinda biased, but you have this energy that screams you have what it takes to be an artist - a genuinity that’s hard to find these days.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck blushes, turning his head away to avoid making eye contact as he plays with Jaehyun’s fingers, “Thanks, Jae.”

“You don’t have to thank me for telling the truth, Hyuck,” Jaehyun laughs, the movement vibrating throughout his body, “Plus, if Taeil didn’t have some level of certainty that they’d offer you a contract, he wouldn’t have brought it up.”

Donghyuck makes a sound of acknowledgement. Jaehyun’s always like this - a reassuring pillar that’s such a welcomed addition to his little life. He finds himself seeking more warmth like a cat basking in the sunlight, feeling warm and safe. It’s all he really needs.

#  ❀❀❀

Jaemin is acting weird.

Like  _ really  _ weird.

He hasn’t mentioned  _ anything  _ about any hot customers for the past week (it’s now Saturday), and Donghyuck is starting to get worried.

Jungwoo has noticed it too, asking him if he knew anything about Jaemin’s sudden  _ quietness  _ at work. 

The extra backup they have today (since weekends are when they’re busiest) seem to have realised it too - some girl called  _ Ryujin  _ Donghyuck had never seen, and another guy called  _ Felix  _ Donghyuck thinks he’s met at one of the work dinners. They seem to be familiar with Jaemin though, sending worried glances to one another when Jaemin doesn’t seem the least bit interested in the objectively  _ tall and hot  _ customer he was helping.

So Donghyuck has taken it upon himself to figure out what’s wrong, which should have been a lot easier than it actually was, if Jaemin wasn’t actively trying to  _ avoid  _ him as if he knew Donghyuck was trying to talk to him. He’s a bit hurt honestly. 

By the time he finally gets him alone, it’s with Jaemin cornered in the backroom during their break. 

Jaemin doesn’t look like he’s going to say anything to him when he asks what’s wrong though, so Donghyuck sighs and prepares two cups of instant noodles for them. He unstacks two chairs, motioning for Jaemin to sit down. The other does so warily, but then focuses on the noodles when he realises Donghyuck isn’t going to  _ interrogate  _ him.

They eat in relative silence, Donghyuck trying to lighten the atmosphere by telling him how Jaehyun thought he was dating Mark, but this just seems to  _ worsen  _ Jaemin’s mood, so he keeps quiet after that.

It’s when Jaemin’s finished his noodles that he finally speaks.

“I think I’m in love with my roommate.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck blinks. It’s not exactly what he expected to hear coming from Jaemin, but he isn’t one to judge. “Like  _ love  _ love?”

“Like  _ love  _ love,” Jaemin sighs, putting the empty cup onto the table. “I probably have been for awhile now but just didn’t want to admit it.”

“Is that why this is my first time hearing that you have a roommate?”

“Dude, I told you like the first time we met,” Jaemin looks at him confused, “What? Did you forget that I go to Techno Uni too?”

_ “You do?”  _ Donghyuck gasps,  _ that’s where Renjun and Jeno go. _

Jaemin crosses his arms and fixes him with an unamused look.

_ “I’m joking.”  _ He really wasn’t.

Jaemin rolls his eyes, “Anyway,  _ yeah,  _ I’m pretty sure I’m in love with my roommate, but he keeps talking about this  _ other  _ guy and I’m happy for him,  _ I am,  _ but it made me realise that I want him to talk about  _ me  _ like that too.”

“I get that,” Donghyuck nods. The same thing could be applied to his own situation (although Jaehyun hasn’t explicitly said he’s in love with Johnny, it’s kinda obvious with the way he always seems to brighten up just that much whenever he’s around), but this isn’t about  _ him, _ “Is he  _ tall and hot?” _

“Contrary to what you may believe, Hyuckie,” Jaemin raises a brow, “Aesthetics are not an indicator as to who I fall in love with.”

“So?”

_ “He’s so cute,”  _ Jaemin frowns, but there’s an unmistakable affection dripping in his voice, “But he’s also  _ so annoying  _ sometimes. You guys would probably get along.”

“Well, that’s a bit rude,” Donghyuck huffs. He’s not  _ annoying.  _ He’s  _ fun. _ “You have a photo?”

_ “So many,”  _ Jaemin sighs fondly as he gets out his phone, “He let me take model shots of him with my camera.”

Donghyuck briefly thinks to himself about how he didn’t even know Jaemin  _ had  _ a camera.

He gets up the photos, shows them to Donghyuck, and  _ that? _

_ That is Yangyang. _

Donghyuck squints his eyes, thinking he may be seeing it wrong. He swipes through a few more of them.  _ That is definitely Yangyang. _

“Your roommate is  _ Yangyang?” _

Jaemin gives him a look, “How do  _ you  _ know Yangyang?”

“We met at the beach during mid-sem.”

Jaemin gasps with an accusatory finger,  _ “You’re _ the one he won’t shut up about!”

“Woah,  _ easy there,”  _ Donghyuck brings his hands up, “Not  _ me, _ it’s probably Renjun.”

“Who’s Renjun?”

“My friend? He mentioned that he’s been meeting up with Yangyang on campus.” He intentionally leaves out the  _ ‘with Jeno’  _ just to see where this will go.

“Is he cute?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck replies easily, because it’s  _ true,  _ “Remember when I got The Blue Neighbourhood vinyl? That was for him.”

_ “Woah.  _ I even asked you to set us up,” Jaemin blinks before giving him another look, “If you set us up I wouldn’t be having this issue.”

“That is  _ not  _ true and you know it,” Donghyuck frowns as he crosses his arms, “You literally told me you’ve been in love with Yangyang for  _ awhile.  _ What if you started dating Renjun and then realised your feelings for him? Then what?”

Jaemin keeps quiet, sulking at his words before he says in a small voice, “Can we talk about something else?”

“Okay,” Donghyuck purses his lips before remembering that Jaemin goes to Techno, realising that he doesn’t actually know what Jaemin is studying, “Remind me of what course you’re doing again?”

“Seriously? Do you just… not listen to anything I say?”

_ “I do,”  _ He’s a bit offended. Donghyuck listens to  _ everything  _ his friends say - he’s simply forgetful. “I just have shit memory.”

Jaemin bites his lips, “I’m doing film production. Learning about filming and editing and all that kinda stuff.”

_ “Ooh,”  _ Donghyuck wiggles his eyebrows, “Sounds interesting. How’s it going so far?”

“It’s okay,” Jaemin says dejectedly, “Kinda stuck on what I should do for an upcoming assessment because of how broad the brief is.”

“What do you mean?” 

“There’s like a giant list of different things to choose from ranging from stop motion to proper short films, but it’s due in like the beginning of June so it’s a fair bit away.”

Donghyuck hums, thinking before getting an  _ idea -  _ which is usually kinda  _ dangerous,  _ but there’s a good feeling about this (although he also told Jisung that baking cookies at four million degrees for one second would work -  _ hint: it won’t).  _

“Music videos wouldn’t happen to be on the list, would they?”

“It is, why?”

“What if I asked you to film me a music video? For Haechan? Would that work?” 

“There’s nothing against it… But I remember you mentioning you were happy with your current content?” Jaemin tilts his head.

“I am,” Donghyuck nods, “I’ve just been thinking about how as my career as a singer grows, I might as well start showing my face in stuff. I figure this would be a nice way to do things - especially since it would be finished around my birthday too? It’s like a birthday present to myself almost. Would you be cool with that? I’ll pay you and everything.”

He’s not about to exploit one of his friends into doing free work for him - a large reason as to why Renjun makes his cover art is because of how often he pays for food (although Donghyuck also likes to believe it’s out of the goodness in Renjun’s heart).

_ “Hyuckie,” _ Jaemin begins with wide eyes and a slaw-jacked expression. He blinks a few times as if processing his words, “I would love to be a part of that? That would be so cool? I know how much this means to you so thanks for trusting me with this.” 

“Don’t thank me yet,” Donghyuck laughs, “We still have a lot to discuss before we start it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jaemin grins widely, the usual flare of light and excitement returning to his eyes. It’s the first genuine smile Donghyuck has seen on his face for the past week. He mentally pats his own back.

A small victory.

#  ❀❀❀

“We need song.”

Mark swivels around in his chair and looks at him sitting cross-legged on his bed with his brows furrowed, “What?”

“Song.”

“For?”

“Me,” Donghyuck points to himself without looking up from his laptop screen. He’s hunched over the device with one earphone in, checking the comments on a cover he posted a few days ago -  _ the author by Luz.  _

There’s the usual comments about how cute the cover art is (a cat basking in the sunlight with daisies surrounding it), how nice his voice is (always appreciated), and even a comment about how they discovered the song through him (he’s always slightly surprised by these as he doesn’t exactly view his channel as  _ big).  _ When he doesn’t notice anything unusual, he closes the tab and gets up the rubric for one of his assignments due next week that he hasn’t even  _ looked  _ at yet.

“I’m kinda busy right now,” Mark motions to his laptop with his headphones wrapped around his neck.

“With?” He skims through the document as he says so, highlighting important notes to be mindful of for when he starts it. It looks simple enough - just a 1.5k essay on how culture has impacted music over the years.

“Uni? This is due in like two days and I wanna finish this track now so I can do other shit.”

Donghyuck looks up at this. He hadn’t realised Mark had recorded a song without him - he’s a bit surprised given how they’ve been spending so much time together. 

“Can I listen?”

“Uhh,” Mark hesitates and bites his lip. He seems to be having an internal argument with himself before he unplugs his headphones, “Sure? Doyoung did the vocals for me by the way.”

“What’s the track called?” he asks as he takes out the earphone in his ear.

Mark averts his eyes and swallows, “Sunflower.”

Donghyuck hums, unperturbed by the  _ strangeness  _ that Mark is exuding, “What was the brief?”

“A track inspired by an artwork,” Mark fiddles with the cord to his headphones. His eyes seem to be fixated onto it.  _ What was so interesting about his headphones? _

“So I should be thinking about Van Gogh’s Sunflower when I listen to it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Mark says with what Donghyuck thinks is a shrug. His movements are too stiff to tell.

And then he plays the track.

_ Remember everything _

_ The air that surrounds us, _

_ The temperature in this small room _

_ Huh.  _ The lyrics feel kinda familiar.

_ The words I did not say _

_ A confession that remained a wound _

_ Damn. _ This is sad.  _ Why were all of Mark’s tracks so sad? _ Donghyuck frowns.

He’s missing something. He knows this because Mark has an expectant look in his eyes that looks almost defeated (and tense?) as the track nears the end. He doesn’t understand it.  _ Why doesn’t he understand it? Oh right, he’s dumb. _

“It’s nice?” he offers unsurely when the last bar plays. There’s something  _ weird  _ that lingers in the air that makes him uncomfortable.

Mark fixes him with a glance that says  _ ‘that’s it?’  _ but Donghyuck simply blinks in return. He sighs as if relieved when he realises there’s nothing else to comment on, turning back to face his laptop.

“It’s sad?” Donghyuck offers again, still unsure.

He gets a snort in response before Mark plugs his headphones in again and focuses on finishing the track.

That  _ weird thing _ still veils itself over him when Donghyuck looks at his assignment document again, but he ignores it, something niggling at him that tells him to leave it alone. He thinks Mark wants him to leave it alone too with the way he’s blocked Donghyuck out of his site. He hopes it’s right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to mention smth in the last chapter's notes AGAIN but the anime i referenced about the two girls who met by fate is Carole & Tuesday! i cried so much when i finished it because i cry at wholesome/touching scenes... the anime touches on some really important (and also heavy) issues if you're interested in seeing it!
> 
> anyway i hope this chapter was able to lift your spirits if they were down / lift them higher if they were up ! 
> 
> i'm so excited for nct 2020 and i hope we'll all try to support them as much as we can!
> 
> Songs:  
> the author - Luz  
> sunflower - Vincent  
> the art of detaching one's heart - Phum Viphurit


	9. baby, it's been a gay time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehyun is one of God's favourites, Donghyuck feels curiosity eat at him, and Mark... I am sorry you have to go through this, dude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ all the comments asking about mark . here is ur answer

“No way,” Donghyuck narrows his eyes as he leans back on the couch with his arms crossed. “I refuse to believe this.”

“That’s my fourth strike in a row,  _ baby,” _ Jaehyun smirks as he high fives Mark on the way back to the couches, settling down opposite Donghyuck as they watch Mark roll the next ball. 

They’re at the bowling alley near campus, one of the more popular places for people to hang out when they come to this side of the city. It’s decently packed with a few groups of people - some families, some just friends. The area is dimly lit, dancing with shades of red and blue, the only real light being above the bowling lanes to make sure no one slips. The speakers blast Western pop music, and Donghyuck might just scream if he has to hear  _ yummy  _ play one more time.

“I thought you said you hadn’t bowled in ages?” Donghyuck accuses, trying not to get flustered with the casual use of  _ baby. _ He thought Jaehyun’s first few turns were just  _ flukes,  _ but now? Now he feels a little betrayed if he’s being honest. He’d been expecting Jaehyun to be  _ average,  _ like  _ him, _ but  _ no,  _ God has favourites.  _ At least I’m doing better than Mark, _ he internally sighs as he watches the bowling ball only manage to hit two pins before disappearing beyond the track.

“Yeah, but I never said I was  _ bad,”  _ Jaehyun responds teasingly with an easy quirk of his brow. Donghyuck purses his lips.  _ This fucker. _

“Did  _ you  _ know Jae was good at bowling?” Donghyuck looks up at Mark as he reaches for another ball for his second turn. He gets a nonchalant shrug in response, the other too focused on his next roll.  _ Well that was unhelpful.  _

“I’ve never been bowling with Mark before - well, maybe once last year with Yuta? I actually used to go pretty often with either Johnny or Jungwoo when I was in high school,” Jaehyun hums as he leans back as well, watching Mark prepare for his turn.

Mark furrows his brows in concentration when he releases the ball, a gentle thunk as it lands onto the lane. It rolls straight down the middle for a bit, but then goes off on an angle, making its way into the gutter. He pauses a little as he watches it go, walks back with a frown, and sits down next to Jaehyun, “I don’t remember being this bad. Was I this bad last time too?”

“Yep,” Jaehyun pats Mark’s shoulder with a tight smile, “You’re actually doing better than last time, honestly. Last time you gave up halfway and Yuta had to take over.”

Donghyuck snorts as he stands up, picking up the ball as he walks to the lane. He takes a deep breath.  _ He’s got this.  _ He throws the ball.  _ He hasn’t got this.  _ It goes straight into the gutter. He blinks. So maybe he’s not that much better than Mark. 

“Hey, that was worse than me,” Mark laughs at him, hand slapping Jaehyun’s shoulder as the other laughs along. Donghyuck narrows his eyes at Mark when he goes to retrieve another ball.  _ The audacity. _

“Yeah, that  _ was  _ pretty bad,” Jaehyun agrees with his eyes crinkling. Donghyuck frowns. “I’m sure that one was just bad luck though! You’ll do well this time - I can feel it.”

“I better,” Donghyuck mutters as he grips the ball tightly.  _ If it’s a strike, the power of the gays is real.  _ He rolls. It starts to angle a bit, but not enough for it to land in the gutter. His heart beats rapidly.  _ For the power of the gays. _

So he doesn’t get a strike, but he deems an eight  _ close enough,  _ walking back and giving Jaehyun and Mark high fives as he plops down onto the cushion with his head held high.  _ Take that, Mark. _

Mark laughs as he smiles at him, undeterred by Jaehyun walking past him for his turn. He blinks a few times before Donghyuck realises he has his  _ idea face _ on.

“What do you think of the lyrics  _ ‘that pretentious look of yours’  _ for the new song?” Mark suggests randomly.

“Which one?” Donghyuck tilts his head. The two of them have been working on a few songs lately, trying to find the sound perfect for his first music video. “You’re gonna have to be more specific - we have  _ a lot  _ of songs.”

“The one that has a bit more of a retro feel to it?”

The song in mind has the most progress out of all of the contenders. Although it’s not done yet and it’s still a bit away until the finished product, they have plenty of time before the deadline Jaemin gave them for filming. It’s nearly completed though, with just a few adjustments to the lyrics and some recordings left.

Donghyuck’s eyebrows raise as he gives it some thought, reaching for his phone in his pocket, “It could work? I’ll write it down and we can discuss it more when we have our shit.”

“Oh, I got it,” Mark says as he grabs out his phone, typing it in before Donghyuck can even blink.

“That was fast,” Donghyuck says as he slides his phone back in again.

“It’s nothing,” Mark replies as he types a bit more on his phone, the lights dancing off of his cheeks giving them a light pink hue, “Do you think we should make it have more wintery vibes?”

Donghyuck hums, “Maybe in the lyrics but not the track? I like the track the way it is right now. I want it to be a somewhat energetic song.”

“I agree,” Mark nods thoughtfully as he tucks his phone away, “Energetic songs always seemed to vibe better with you.”

“Is that why you didn’t ask me to sing  _ sunflower?”  _ Donghyuck teases because he’s  _ stupid. _ He immediately regrets the jab when he senses the way Mark tenses up a bit.  _ Yikes,  _ maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

“No,” Mark says tight-lipped, a look in his eye that confirms he shouldn’t have asked, “You would’ve been great on it.”

“But?” He pushes out of curiosity.  _ Does he know how shut up? Apparently not. _

“I just thought Doyoung had what I needed. Let’s leave it at that.”

Donghyuck purses his lips, he knows Mark isn’t being honest - he can tell by the way he fidgets with the rips in his jeans and averts his eyes. He nods anyway, he’ll ask again  _ later. _

“You guys okay?” Jaehyun asks when he returns with his brows pinched, looking between them as he sits down. Donghyuck looks up at the little screen that has all the points.  _ Another strike.  _ He’s not even surprised anymore.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Mark reassures and gives Donghyuck a  _ look  _ as he gets up, squeezing past Jaehyun as he goes for his turn.

“What were you guys talking about?” Jaehyun asks as he sits down, “You seemed really engrossed in it.”

“Oh, just this new song we’re making,” Donghyuck says with a wave of his hand, not a _complete_ lie. He straightens his back and his eyes shine a little in excitement when he realises this is the perfect opportunity to tell Jaehyun about the music video, wanting to share this special part of his life with him, “I’m actually thinking about-”

“Wait, hold that thought,” Jaehyun gets out his phone as it buzzes, a smile making its way onto his face as he looks at the screen light up with a call, his eyes twinkling, and dimples glowing. Donghyuck feels himself dim a little - he doesn’t even need to ask to just  _ know  _ who’s calling him, and it’s a reminder of where he lies on Jaehyun’s priorities ladder. 

Jaehyun gets up from the couch with a little bounce, oblivious to the way Donghyuck caves into himself, and he speaks with his ears glowing a light shade of red, “It’s Johnny - I’ll be right back.”

Donghyuck watches him leave to go to a deserted area of the alley. Jaehyun throws his head back in a laugh from whatever Johnny said, talking animatedly back into his phone with a grin plastered on his face. Donghyuck frowns as he turns back to face the bowling lanes only to meet Mark’s eyes. He has a gaze full of what Donghyuck thinks is  _ pity  _ that he can’t bring himself to meet, so he gets up for his turn and ignores the little ache in his chest.

Mark gently grabs onto his arm, concern in his eyes as he asks a silent question, letting go of him when Donghyuck shakes his head in response. He walks up to the lane, bowling ball in hand, and takes another deep breath as he prepares to roll it. 

_ If this is a strike,  _ his thoughts pause a little. He listens to the cheering of the family next to them as one of them gets a spare, the thunk of the bowling balls as they get thrown onto the lanes, the overrated pop music playing throughout the speakers, and then the unmistakable sound of Jaehyun’s fond laughter faintly coming through. He turns the tides slightly into his favour.

_ If this is a strike, the power of the gays aren’t on my side. _

It goes into the gutter.

#  ❀❀❀

“Why are Jaehyun and Johnny so close?” Donghyuck asks as the elevator doors close behind him and Mark. It’s a question that’s been niggling at his mind since the phone call, and it just won’t go away.

After the bowling date, they’d all gotten dinner - some Japanese place opposite the alley that had half-decent ramen (better than the packets of instant noodles in Mark’s cupboards). They’d asked Jaehyun if he wanted to come over after too, but he had a giant smile on his face as he told them he was going to head over to  _ Johnny’s,  _ and zoomed off. Donghyuck kinda feels used to it by now, it’s always  _ Johnny first, _ but it doesn’t make him ache any less.

“We grew up together,” Mark answers simply and presses the button for his floor. He hovers over Donghyuck’s floor a bit with a question in his eyes, but Donghyuck shakes his head so he drops his arm with a tiny content smile on his face.

“I know, but like,” Donghyuck struggles to phrase his sentence as he looks at the bulletin board on one of the walls, “Did something happen? I feel like Jaehyun would drop everything for him.”

“That’s because he would.”

Donghyuck pauses reading through one of the notices and looks at him, “Why?”

“It’s not really my place to give you the details,” Mark leans back on the opposite wall. He has a grim expression when he speaks, “But to put it simply, he went through a lot and Johnny helped him get his life back. I was kinda young at the time so I wasn’t really involved, but it wasn’t fun when I  _ was  _ there, and I know Jae owes him a lot - or at least that’s how it feels.”

Donghyuck thinks back to when they’d discussed  _ falling for you,  _ to when Mark had looked so remorseful when he mentioned how Jaehyun used to be a trainee. He wonders if it's related. He feels his lips twist. 

“What’s that expression mean?” 

“What?”

“You look kinda…  _ not happy,”  _ Mark expands helpfully.

He feels a bit guilty for feeling this way, but something urges him to be honest, so he looks down at the elevator floor when he speaks, “I want to know what happened.”

Mark blinks at him before giving a sad smile, “It’s a difficult topic for us. Jae says it’s  _ ‘in the past’  _ now but I know he still hangs onto it. If you do end up asking him, just… be careful.”

“I probably won’t ask,” Donghyuck confesses quietly. He trusts that Jaehyun will be the one to tell him when the time comes, “But I’ll keep that in mind.”

#  ❀❀❀

The room is quiet when Mark interrupts it.

“What was that about when we were at the bowling alley?”

Donghyuck looks up at Mark from where he’s lying down on the foldable mattress, or at least to what he thinks is Mark - it’s really all just a blob in the darkness of the room.

“What do you mean?” He feigns ignorance. The blob moves and there’s a rustle of bedsheets. 

“You just looked a bit sad when Jae was on the phone.”

“It’s nothing,” Donghyuck replies. He’s not quite ready to admit his little (giant) crush on Jaehyun to Mark yet. “It’s a bit late to ask though, don’t you think?”

“Well… you said that you were fine at the alley even though you clearly weren’t and I just figured you needed time to think about it more so I waited, but then you got really excited when we were working on the song and I didn’t want to ruin it so I’m asking you now because I’m worried about you and I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if I don’t ask.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck doesn’t really know what to say.

“Sorry, that was a lot to process wasn’t it?” Mark apologies quietly.

“It’s alright, and I promise you I’m fine,” Donghyuck gives an airy laugh. He takes a deep breath, “There’s actually been something I’ve been meaning to ask you too.”

Mark hums for him to continue.

“Can you tell me the real reason as to why you didn’t ask me to record  _ sunflower?”  _ Donghyuck tries. He speaks again when he doesn’t get a response, “You can be honest with me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Don’t use my words against me, Mark.”

“I’m serious. It’s nothing,” Mark repeats, but there’s something in his voice that tells him it’s clearly not  _ nothing.  _

A small pit of anxiety plants it’s way into the bottom of Donghyuck’s stomach, “You’re not mad at me, right?”

There’s a pause in the room before Mark speaks again.

“I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you,” Mark says quietly, almost like a whisper, and it’s the most honest thing he’s heard him say that night. The blob moves further away from the edge of the bed, as if trying to escape Donghyuck’s line of sight. He sighs, “I just have a crush on someone and I didn’t want to talk about it because I knew you would ask about them.”

Donghyuck purses his lips because  _ damn,  _ Mark knows him so well, “Do I know them?”

“Yeah, it’s-” Mark stops himself before continuing, “It’s just embarrassing and I really don’t want to say who it is.”

“I can respect that,” Donghyuck murmurs, not exactly in a position to judge him for keeping it a secret. He looks up at the darkness of the ceiling, “Are you ever gonna tell them?”

“No,” he snorts, a tiny self-deprecating laugh, “I’m ninety percent sure they like someone else. I’d rather put our friendship first than whatever feelings I have for them.”

“But what if they like you back?”

“They don’t.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Why do you have so many questions?”

“Because I’m your friend and it’s only natural for me to want to know about this stuff.”

Mark sighs, but there’s a firmness in his voice that says his words are final, a tiredness that tells him to stop, “I just  _ know,  _ okay?”

“Okay,” Donghyuck swallows, and then says a bit quieter, “I’m sorry for pushing.”

“You don’t have to apologise,” Mark rolls around his bed again. Donghyuck can  _ just  _ see the little shine in his eyes as he looks down at him. “It’s probably a good thing that I at least told  _ someone  _ about it. I usually just keep it to myself and wait for it to disappear - works every time.”

Donghyuck frowns as he registers his words, “What do you mean? Do you  _ always  _ just keep your crushes to yourself?”

“Well, yeah,” Mark says matter-of-factly, as if there was no other way to deal with your feelings, “None of them ever liked me back, so why would I tell them? We were all really close and I didn’t want to lose them.”

He’s never really thought about it like that - the main reason as to why he hasn’t confessed to Jaehyun was because he wanted to focus more on  _ himself  _ right now, to see where  _ Haechan  _ could go. 

“You must like them a lot,” Donghyuck says softly, “If you’re willing to swallow down your feelings for them.”

“Yeah,” Mark responds just as soft.

“What do you like about them?” He turns to look at the blob again.

“They’re really dumb.”

The straightforwardness makes Donghyuck laugh, “That sounds more like an insult, not gonna lie.”

“That’s because it is,” he can hear the soft grin in Mark’s voice.

Donghyuck grips the blanket and brings it up to his chin before snuggling into it, “Do they deserve it?”

“Yeah,” Mark says fondly, although there’s a shy hint of sadness in his voice, “They really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this hurt to write . h a h a . next chapter will be a fun one tho ! i'm 80% sure of it !
> 
> chapter title:  
> Baby, It's Been a Long Time - Scenery


	10. gay u up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music video filming part 1: Mark is intimidated, ChenJi don't hold back, Renjun is flirting, and Donghyuck is having the time of his life.

“It’s perfect,” Donghyuck sighs dreamily as he walks around the arcade with Mark and Jaemin trailing behind him, scanning the area to make sure it’s all in place. It’s a family-owned place, one that Jungwoo had taken Donghyuck and Jaemin to once, and when he suggested it for the music video, he’d fallen in love with the idea. It looked like your regular arcade - dim lights, machines everywhere, and the familiar beeps and bops of the games ring through the space. 

The owner’s son stands at the counter with a smile on his face, “Jungwoo said the filming would be really important so I made sure everything was extra clean.”

“Thanks again for letting us rent this, Sungchan,” Donghyuck shoots him a grin as they finish walking around, “I know your parents don’t normally accept rent requests.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sungchan waves off, “They love Jungwoo and they’ve been asking me to bring him back to work here ever since he left - this is nothing to them.”

“I swear he has everyone wrapped around his finger,” Jaemin gives an airy laugh and gets his camera out of its bag, plopping it onto the counter gently as he wipes imaginary dust off of it. He treats it like it’s his own child, Donghyuck notes as he frets over one of the lenses. This is the most careful he’s ever seen him. “Whole reason why he became manager so quickly was because boss loves him.”

“He sounds cool from what Hyuck has told me,” Mark joins in as he connects the bluetooth speaker to his phone. He flicks through a few tracks before settling on some pop song Donghyuck hasn’t heard before. He’s still looking down at his phone when he continues, “What scenes are we shooting first?”

“I was thinking about Hyuckie’s solo shots since his other friends will be joining later?” Jaemin asks, looking to Donghyuck for confirmation. He continues once he gets a nod in response, “The first takes are gonna be kinda awkward since you’re still getting used to being filmed, but you’ll start to enjoy it more and loosen up as time goes by.”

“Sounds good,” Sungchan nods, “I’m just gonna be in the backroom to take care of some stuff for now, but it’s nothing serious so don’t be scared to call me if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Jaemin gives a mock salute as he frets over his camera a bit more, and Sungchan leaves once he gives them the  _ unlimited  _ card for the games.

Donghyuck bounces over to Mark and wraps an arm around his shoulders. “I still can’t really believe we’re doing this - it’s gonna be  _ so fun.” _

“You’ll do great,” Mark smiles back at him, leaning into him a bit, “I’m really excited for this.”

“I know you’ll do great too!” Donghyuck beams, laughing at the confused look Mark gives him, “You’re gonna be in this too, dude.”

“I am?” Mark blinks at him dumbly.

“Well, yeah,  _ duh,”  _ Donghyuck rolls his eyes, squeezing his arm tighter around his shoulders, “This is your song too.”

“I guess,” Mark bashedly ruffles his hair before giving a meaningful smile, “Also, you have something in your teeth.”

“Ah, shit,” Donghyuck groans, dropping his arm. He gets his phone out and turns on the front camera, looking at the bit of food caught right in the middle. “I’m gonna brush my teeth before we film.”

“You go do that,” Mark pats his back. He leans in closer and whispers, “Also isn’t Sungchan like,  _ really tall?” _

“Yeah,” Donghyuck gives a half-hearted shrug as he digs through his bag to get his toothbrush, “He’s like the same height as Lucas and Johnny.”

Mark gives a nonchalant hum. Donghyuck looks at him.

“What’s that mean? Why are you frowning?”

“I’m not frowning,” Mark frowns and crosses his arms.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve even seen you look into his eyes yet,” Donghyuck looks at him thoughtfully before giving a teasing grin, “Don’t tell me you're  _ intimidated.” _

Mark averts his eyes as his cheeks turn a baby pink, “I’m  _ not  _ intimidated.”

“Oh, you  _ so are,”  _ Donghyuck laughs and goes to the bathroom. He raises a brow when he sees that Mark has followed him, “Did you need to take a piss?”

“I just thought you’d want company,” Mark shrugs.

“I’m brushing my teeth, dude.”

Mark simply shrugs again. Donghyuck narrows his eyes.  _ Wait is he- _

“Don’t tell me you’re intimidated by Jaemin too.”

Mark’s cheeks turn a brighter pink.

_ “Oh my god,”  _ Donghyuck laughs again as he unscrews the cap off of his toothpaste and squeezes it onto his toothbrush, running it under water. He’s trying not to laugh, he really is, “What are you gonna do when my other friends show up? Hide in the bathroom?”

Mark purses his lips.

_ “Mark,”  _ Donghyuck exclaims around his toothbrush.

“I’m not good with new people, okay?” Mark mumbles.

“You were fine around me.”

_ “Yeah,  _ but you’re  _ different.” _

“Different how?” 

Mark flounders a bit, “You just  _ are.” _

Donghyuck rinses his mouth with water and sighs, “My friends aren’t going to hurt you.”

“I know that,” Mark looks at him through the mirror. He fetches a paper towel as Donghyuck washes his face. “I’m just more comfortable around you.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes as he dries his face and chucks the paper towel into the bin, “You’ll be  _ fine, _ I promise.”

“But what if they don’t like me?”

Donghyuck blinks at him a few times before giving an amused laugh. He doesn’t know how anyone could  _ not  _ like Mark. He grabs his hands and with as much confidence he can muster, “They’ll like you.”

Mark blushes a pretty pink and opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something for a moment, but he doesn’t get the chance as someone knocks on the door. 

“You guys were taking an awfully long time in here,” Jaemin says as he opens the door, eyeing them suspiciously. Mark takes his hands out of his grasp. He kinda misses how nice they felt. “You guys good to shoot now?”

Donghyuck grins, anticipation flowing through him again, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

#  ❀❀❀

For the most part, Donghyuck was right. His friends  _ do  _ like Mark.

“Move over, hag!” Chenle screams over the music coming from the machine as he rides the motorcycle. “Get your old ass out of the way!”

“We’ve been  _ over  _ this, Chenle!” Mark yells back exasperatedly from the other machine, “I’m only two years older than you!”

“Two years too old!”

His friends also apparently do not care that they’ve only met Mark, Jaemin and Sungchan for half an hour. He probably should’ve seen this coming.

Donghyuck snorts from where he’s leaning on the frame of the basketball machine next to them, Sungchan by his side as they watch them bicker. Jaemin holds his camera to his face and tries not to laugh as he films them from Chenle’s side, Jisung next to him as he cheers them on.

Mark swears as Chenle’s avatar zooms past him on the screen, “Sungchan wouldn’t treat me like this!”

“Actually,” Sungchan coughs with an amused gleam in his eyes, “I’m the one that started-”

Mark cuts him off and shoots a look, “Don’t finish that sentence.”

Sungchan puts his hands up as if to placate him, a grin on his face as he casually rests an arm on Donghyuck’s shoulder. The gesture seems to catch Mark’s eyes with the way he narrows them before focusing back on the screen with his teeth grit. He’s been doing that a lot today, Donghyuck has realised.

The two avatars continue to race against each other with Chenle in the lead. Mark’s motorcycle spins out of control but he keeps his cool, staring at the screen with a look that could maybe cut through a slab of really soft tofu.

_ Woah,  _ Donghyuck thinks, looking at Mark,  _ he’s terrible at this.  _

It’s been about two hours since they got here, and everyone was now pretty comfortable under the eye of the camera. The first few shots were terribly  _ awkward,  _ just like Jaemin had said they’d be, with Donghyuck not quite knowing what to do with himself as he lip-synched the track. Ten had come up with a small dance for them to do to mix up the shots a bit, so he did them to ease up the awkwardness as he got used to the camera, and it works - he finds himself laughing along when Mark joins the shot. It’s  _ nice. _

Mark had gotten a bit tense after Chenle and Jisung arrived (Donghyuck understands this - the kids can be scary when they want to), but Chenle had taken no issues with bullying him within ten minutes of arriving, acting as a catalyst that helped Mark loosen up somehow. Donghyuck’s kinda thankful for it.

Now he just had to take care of Jisung. The boy was still only staying by either Chenle or Donghyuck’s side. He knew he didn’t have to worry that much about him though, having Chenle there acted as Jisung’s  _ good luck charm _ (his words not Donghyuck’s) and he would be fine once Jeno and Renjun showed up.

“Mark, you’re shit at this,” Jisung laughs. The game finishes and Chenle wins by a milestone. He wraps both of his arms around Chenle’s neck in a back hug as congratulations for winning. His eyes shine under the brightness of the screen,  _ this little shit,  _ “Must be the old age.”

Or maybe he was already fine.

#  ❀❀❀

Donghyuck squawks as Jeno picks him up and spins him around in greeting, _“Jeno,_ _please, I can’t breathe.”_

“Oh,  _ whoops,  _ haha,” Jeno smiles and drops him onto the floor, Donghyuck gasping for air. He would hug Renjun as well if the other wasn’t carrying paper bags full of junk food (McD*nald’s, to be more precise).

“Oh, right! Drop the bags, Junie!” Donghyuck exclaims when he sees the others waiting to be introduced, ignoring Renjun’s confused expression as he just grips the bags to his chest tighter, “It’s  _ introduction time!” _

“How come  _ we  _ didn’t get an _ introduction time?” _ Chenle pouts. “You just told us to  _ ‘go have fun’  _ as you went to go piss.”

Jisung leans onto his boyfriend, loudly whispering,  _ “Ageism.” _

Donghyuck raises a brow, “Did you guys  _ want  _ an  _ introduction time?” _

“No, we’re good,” Jisung smiles, “Please continue.”

_ “Okay,  _ well starting with the newcomers,” Donghyuck gestures to the person as he says their names, “This is Jeno and Renjun.”

A look of understanding dawns Mark’s face,  _ “By my side  _ and  _ la la la?” _

“Yep!” Donghyuck beams back at him, happy that Mark remembered their names from the nights of rants as he told him how much they mean to him as they wrote the songs. He gestures to the others, “Mark, Jaemin and Sungchan. Mark is the other song-writer, Jaemin is from work - he’ll be the one filming, and Sungchan’s family owns the arcade.”

Donghyuck halts when he notices how still Jaemin has gotten, mouth open as he stares at Renjun in what Donghyuck thinks is shock. The surprise is mirrored on Renjun’s face as well, although it seems a lot more pleasant than Jaemin’s.

_ “Uh,”  _ Donghyuck moves on as he looks at the paper bags still in Renjun’s hands, “So let’s eat!”

Sungchan takes them to another section of the arcade - one that acts as a rest area full of tables and chairs. They end up spreading out on two tables, four of them on each. Renjun groans when he finally puts the bags down, Jaemin, Jeno and Sungchan helping take the burgers and chips out of the bags as the others sit on the table opposite them. 

Chenle and Jisung demolish their burgers in record time, eager to get back to the games despite Renjun telling them to slow down because they literally had  _ the whole day,  _ and Jeno sighs much like an exhausted parent when they zoom off, trailing after them without a word. 

Sungchan looks nervous as he continues to eat (probably because in the one hour that he’s gotten to know Chenle and Jisung, they’ve been a  _ real mess), _ sipping his drink through a paper straw when a loud thunk followed by a scream that sounds an awful lot like Chenle can be heard from the arcade side. He rushes off to check on them with  _ “my parents will literally disown me if anything happens.”  _

Despite Jaemin’s initial shock of meeting Renjun for the first time (Donghyuck lowkey forgot about the whole Yangyang situation when he was arranging this), the other had taken an immediate liking to him once they started talking. It was just casual conversation about campus and other _uni-related shit_ that Donghyuck doesn’t know the meaning of (he doesn’t have the time or energy to worry about what other universities are doing), but both of them look happy, so he’s happy too.

“Y’know,” Jaemin nudges Renjun with a small smile, “Yangyang talks about you all the time.”

“That’s interesting,” Renjun hums thoughtfully as he plays with the straw in his drink, “He talks about  _ you  _ all the time as well.”

“Really?” Jaemin blinks at him.

“Yeah,” Renjun grins easily, and  _ oh,  _ Donghyuck sees the light blush on his cheeks, “I can see why.”

“Oh,  _ dude,”  _ Mark whispers to Donghyuck from next to him, “he’s  _ flirting.” _

“I can see that,” Donghyuck whispers back, enjoying the way Jaemin looks like he wants to both run from yet bask in Renjun’s attention at the same time. Maybe he was wrong before about not setting them up. He smiles in response to the silent plea for help Jaemin sends his way,  _ you’re on your own, buddy. _ “They’re kinda cute.”

“They are,” Mark agrees, an underlying hint of something  _ else  _ in his tone.

Donghyuck turns to face him and tilts his head as he puts a fry in his mouth, “What are you thinking about?”

“Just…” Mark waves a hand around as if searching for the words, the other gripping his drink, “Stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

There’s a slight pause as Mark gives him a nervous look and bites his bottom lip. He sounds unsure, “I’ll tell you later.”

“Later?” Donghyuck raises a brow at him.

“Yeah,” Mark responds, his eyes now filled with a new-found determination (although the nervousness is still there). He grips his drink tighter. It’s a promise, when he speaks, “Later.”

#  ❀❀❀

Getting back into filming is fun. 

Watching Renjun and Jaemin proceed to flirt with each other for the next two hours is not fun. Well, it was at first, but then Jaemin became the all too familiar  _ hot tinder coworker  _ and gained back his position as a confident gay once he realised how easily Renjun got flustered  _ (oh, how the turns have tabled). _

Donghyuck tries not to roll his eyes when Jaemin coos over Renjun from behind the camera  _ (again), _ and he thinks Jeno is getting pretty tired of it too if the way he mutters  _ “jesus fucking christ”  _ under his breath as they laugh for the shot is any indication. 

Mark is surprisingly clingy for the rest of the filming (actually has been since Jeno and Renjun showed up); giggling as he leans against Donghyuck’s shoulder, throwing a casual arm around his waist as he cheers him on game after game. He’s glad Mark is comfortable enough to act a bit closer than usual.

Jaemin asks them to laugh and smile a lot, so they do. It helps that they’re friends (although Sungchan and Mark aren’t as close to the others as Donghyuck), and there are moments where Donghyuck forgets that they’re here to  _ film, _ that it’s not just one of their normal outings. 

Donghyuck teaches the little dance to everyone (including Jaemin), and it’s a happy feeling as they stumble around and laugh at each other as they all try to do it in sync with the camera propped up on a small stool to get everyone in the shot. He makes sure the brown bear plushie Mark got for him from the claw machine gets its own scene too, noting the contentedness that Mark seems to ooze out when he voices it.

Despite the arcade being only the first filming location, it’s a great start to the whole thing, and Donghyuck couldn’t be more happy with how the shots have turned out (although he does worry about Jaemin having to sit through all the hours of footage). Having everyone together feels right, it feels  _ really right,  _ and he mentally pats himself on the back for taking this chance to let everyone meet. 

He forgets to ask Mark about  _ later.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psa i might not respond to comments about markhyuck bc im running out of ideas other than "heheheh" and (insert eye emoji)... feel free to continue leaving them though! i very much still enjoy getting them (as i do with all comments). you are seen and heard . and i also agree (i want mark to be happy too).
> 
> this fic is still jaehyuck (with a slight change of plans that makes it ten times more fun to write - thank u diacy for reminding me that i'm the writer and can therefore do what i want with the story).
> 
> chapter title:  
> Wake U Up - Joe Cho


	11. gays breathing underwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music video filming part 2: Jaemin meets a bunch of people and Donghyuck is confused. Later finally arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw lowkey near panic attack in section 3

_ “Dude, I feel like a spy,”  _ Jaemin harshly whispers to Donghyuck as they stand outside the club room door. His eyes are wide in excitement as he grips his camera bag,  _ “It’s like I’m going undercover.” _

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him, “We’ve made it all this way and you’re just  _ now  _ feeling like that?” 

“It’s not everyday you go to a different university’s campus,” Jaemin argues, “I was too busy admiring the architecture.” 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes and pushes him inside the room. He’s ninety percent sure he saw Jaemin laugh when he saw the communications building.

When they find their way inside, the first thing his tunnel vision sees is the way Jaehyun is laughing at something on Mark’s phone, throwing his head back as the other looks up at him with a satisfied smile. They’re the ones that actually  _ know  _ Jaemin, so it doesn’t take long for Donghyuck to decide to walk over there.

“Hey, Hyuck,” Jaehyun says as Mark places his phone face down on the table they’re sat at, both of them smiling in greeting. He nods to Jaemin, who nods in return, “Jaemin.”

“Hey,” Donghyuck tries to not look too happy as Mark lets him wrap his arms around his shoulders from his back, his chin resting on his head. He ignores the way Jaemin rolls his eyes and turns to Jaehyun when he asks, “Did your car end up being alright?”

“Yep,” Jaehyun answers, a fond look in his eyes when Donghyuck starts swaying Mark from side to side, “After we filmed at the vinyl store I got it checked out and they found a nail in the tire. Thankfully didn’t cost too much to replace so we’re back in business, baby.” 

“Damn, imagine being able to drive,” Donghyuck says in mock wonder, waving at Yuta and Sicheng when they enter the room. He pats Mark for his attention, “Do you know how to drive?”

“Nah,” Mark shrugs, the movement making Donghyuck bounce a bit.

“It’s why I’m so important in this little trio,” Jaehyun nods, his tone obviously joking, “What would you guys do without me?”

“Use public transport?” Donghyuck raises a brow. Mark lets out a giggle. Donghyuck smiles.

Jaehyun waves his hand in dismissal, “If public transport didn’t exist, you guys would be stuck somewhere… All alone.”

_ “Oh no,”  _ Donghyuck gasps, “Luckily you’ll be able to save us with your  _ minivan.” _

“My minivan is  _ great  _ and you  _ know it,”  _ Jaehyun says defensively as he narrows his eyes at him.

“You own a  _ minivan?”  _ Jaemin asks in disbelief - and  _ wow,  _ Donghyuck forgot he was here for a moment.

“He does,” Mark nods shamefully.

“But  _ why?”  _

“It’s a long story, you wouldn’t want to hear it,” Jaehyun waves his hand again, his ears a slight pink. 

Donghyuck knows this story and it’s really not a long story at all - rather an embarrassing one that Jaehyun probably doesn’t want to retell. He had begrudgingly told him about it when they filmed some music video shots at the vinyl store, how he’d somehow misread the car labels when he signed the contract, and how his pride hadn’t let him return it. It had given Donghyuck a good laugh when he’d first heard the story.

“Anyway, Hyuck, you should probably go around introducing Jaemin to the others,” Jaehyun suggests, probably to change the topic before Jaemin can ask more questions.

“Oh, I  _ should  _ do that,” Donghyuck nods as he remembers why everyone has gathered.

Introducing Jaemin to the rest of the club goes as ordinarily the radio club usually goes. 

Saying hi to Johnny also entailed saying hi to Ten, Kun and Lucas - the four of them huddled around as they talked about an automatic pet food dispenser like it was some sort of God. Saying hi to Taeyong and Doyoung entailed interrupting their fist-fight, and saying hi to Yuta and Sicheng entailed having to listen to them argue over who’s turn it was to wash the dishes (why they talking about this when there were no dishes around? Donghyuck does not care and therefore does not judge). 

“Uhh,” Jaemin begins with a concerned expression, still looking at where Doyoung now has Taeyong in a headlock. Despite the position, Taeyong is clearly winning - laughing as Doyoung grits his teeth. “Are they going to be alright?”

“They’re fine,” Taeil says from behind them, arms full of folders and binders a telltale sign that he just rushed here from one of his classes, “Are you new to the club?”

“This is Jaemin!” Donghyuck says, putting his hands on Jaemin’s shoulders, “He’s the one filming the music video.”

A look of understanding passes Taeil’s face before he freezes, “That was  _ today?” _

Donghyuck gives him a tight-lipped expression. Jaemin laughs unsurely.

_ “I’m joking,”  _ Taeil laughs as he empties his arms onto one of the tables, “You reminded us every other hour -  _ how could I forget?” _

“Good, because I nearly started crying,” Donghyuck huffs as Taeil wanders off. He turns around to see who else is left for introductions.

The only people they haven’t said hi to yet appear to be Guanheng and Dejun, but Jaemin visibly brightens when they walk over to them, having already met each other a few times at his dorm because of Yangyang. 

_ “Ooh,”  _ Donghyuck wiggles his eyebrows when it’s just the two of them again, “You’ve met Yangyang’s  _ friends.” _

Jaemin proceeds to ignore him as he fiddles with his camera, a look of  _ professionalism  _ that doesn’t fool Donghyuck with the way his cheeks turn a bright red with the smallest mention of the guy's  _ love, _ “Let’s get started.”

#  ❀❀❀

The group scenes pass by quickly - everyone learns the dance fairly fast, and it only takes a few tries before Jaemin is satisfied with the result. The other group shots were just them playing games as they laughed, and it’s much like at the arcade as Donghyuck forgets he’s here to film. 

It’s when he’s nearly done with the solo shots that he realises  _ wow,  _ this shit is  _ draining. _

Donghyuck falls back onto the bean bag with a satisfying crunch. 

“Paint me like one of your French girls,” he still manages to say as he looks up at Jaemin and Jaehyun.

“First of all, I have never met a French girl,” Jaemin says from behind the camera, “Second of all, I suck at drawing.”

Donghyuck waves a hand, too tired to argue, “Just film, dude.”

“I already am.”

“With no warning? Seriously?”

“Yep,” Jaehyun confirms as he looks at the camera. “You look great though - very comfortable.”

Donghyuck feels his cheeks heat up a bit, “Of course I look great. I always look great.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Jaehyun goes along teasingly, “Almost as great as me.”

Donghyuck raises a brow, “Well aren’t you confident.”

“Why? You’re gonna disagree?” Jaehyun dares him, his voice filled with very much warranted confidence. His cheeks seem to be glowing a bit under the light - shining like an original glazed Kr*spey Kr*me doughnut when he grins.

Donghyuck wants to say yes out of spite. He thinks he’s never been more gay. Maybe he’s just really tired. He purses his lips to keep unwanted words from falling out. 

“Can you guys like,” Jaemin interrupts, his tone void of amusement as he brings his camera down from his face and gives them both a look,  _ “Not? _ I’m trying to film here.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” Jaehyun apologises and gives Jaemin a pat on the shoulder, “I’ll leave you to it.”

Donghyuck tries not to frown when Jaehyun walks away. It doesn’t work. He misses him already.

“Hyuckie,  _ please,”  _ Jaemin pulls his camera down again exasperatedly, “Just this scene left and then you can go back to looking either really tired or really  _ really thirsty.” _

“I am  _ not  _ thirst-”

“Did Hyuck need water?” Mark perks up out of nowhere, somehow with a water bottle in hand.

“Thanks, Mark,” Donghyuck says, accepting the bottle. He doesn’t know why he accepted it. He is not thirsty. 

Mark beams back at him before accidentally walking into Jaehyun.  _ Hah, dumbass. _

Jaemin brings his camera up again, “Okay, now hold that expression.”

Donghyuck looks confused back at him.  _ What expression? _

“I said  _ hold it.” _

(Donghyuck tries to recreate whatever emotion was on his face but Jaemin sighs again and ends up calling Jaehyun and Mark back. He doesn’t know what kind of expression he has when they’re both here, but Jaemin seems to like it.)

#  ❀❀❀

“Today was fun,” Donghyuck sighs with a smile as he falls onto Mark’s bed, stretching his arms up.

Mark hums in agreement as he puts his bag on the floor, sitting down next to him once he does so. He’s been awfully quiet since the last leg of the solo shoots, looking at Donghyuck as if something was weighing on his mind. He’s been trying not to pry into it, making conversation about random topics instead like  _ “hey did you know that there are thirty-two living species of mudskippers”  _ and  _ “hey did you know that cats have two-hundred and fourty-four bones on average”  _ to no avail.

Donghyuck yawns and places his head on Mark’s lap, looking up at him with his eyes threatening to shut, “Did you want to do anything? Watch a movie or something?”

“You’re not tired?” Mark’s voice is soft as he brushes Donghyuck’s hair away from his face.

“No,” he yawns again, eyes closing as he does so. He studies Mark’s face when they open again. There’s that determination and underlying fear that Donghyuck doesn’t know what to make of. “What’s on your mind?”

“I actually wanted to tell you something,” Mark sounds hesitant, pausing before he continues, “When I talked about  _ later?  _ At the arcade? I think now is later.”

Donghyuck blinks a couple of times before registering his words.  _ Oh, this is important.  _ He sits back up, crossing his legs as he faces Mark on the bed. 

Mark averts his eyes and takes a deep breath, “It’s about my crush.”

Donghyuck blinks again, not quite understanding the hesitance and fear, “Why do you look so sad?”

“Promise that we’ll still be friends?” Mark asks back instead, his voice small.

Donghyuck’s brows furrow in confusion.  _ What kind of question is that?  _ “Of course we’ll still be friends.”

“Don’t take it back,” Mark swallows. He looks down at his hands as they grip the blanket.

Donghyuck feels it happen in slow motion. From the words Mark says, to the scared look in his eyes. It almost feels a bit like a dream. He doesn’t know what to think, but he’s suddenly taken back to when Chenle had that conspiracist look in his eyes in year eleven as he told him Renjun was probably  _ in love  _ with him. He had laughed about it earlier this year, looking back on it as the alcohol flooded his system, but now as he recalls the emotions that went through him during the whole incident, the feeling of utter  _ guilt  _ that drowned him, all he can bring himself to laugh at is how bloody  _ stupid  _ he is.

“It’s you.”

“Huh?” 

“My crush. It’s you.”

He doesn’t know why these are the first words he says, “Of all the people you could’ve had a crush on,  _ seriously, Mark?” _

_ What is he doing? _

_ “Hey,  _ it’s not like I  _ wanted  _ to,” Mark frowns, looking up at him again, and Donghyuck feels something twist his gut, “You were just  _ really dumb  _ and yet  _ really cute  _ and it just  _ happened.” _

“You have terrible taste in men,  _ no offense,” _ Donghyuck gives a judging look, hoping this whole  _ act  _ is enough to fool him. “I mean like  _ thanks,  _ but I’m also the dumbest person to have a crush on.”

_ Is this enough? _

_ “I know,” _ Mark rolls his eyes, “That’s what I’ve been  _ saying.” _

Donghyuck thinks back to a few nights ago, to when Mark had confessed and insulted his crush-  _ him  _ within minutes of each other, “I guess you have.”

Donghyuck pauses.  _ Say something. _

“You were insulting  _ me  _ this whole time?” Donghyuck gasps.  _ He’s so dumb. _

“You’ve been insulting  _ yourself  _ for the majority of this conversation, Hyuck,” Mark says back annoyed. 

_ Mark seems to be alright. Now act normal. This is the least you can do for him. _

Donghyuck huffs as he gets up from the bed, crouching down to slide the mattress out.

“What are you doing?” Mark asks, looking at him as if he’s grown another head.

_ Act normal. _

Donghyuck blinks up at him, “What does it  _ look  _ like I’m doing?”

“You’re spending the night here?” 

_ Act normal. _

“Yeah?”

“But I thought…” Mark trails off.

_ Act normal. _

Donghyuck raises a brow at him, “What?”

“Nah, it’s nothing,” Mark shakes his head. He gives a small smile, “Thanks for being normal about it. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.”

_ Thank fuck. _

“Don’t thank me,” Donghyuck mutters, smoothing the quilt on the mattress. He gets up and opens the closet, throwing his designated pillow and blanket onto it. “I’m your friend before anything.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mark smiles, and Donghyuck recognises the fondness, the  _ affection _ that drips out of his eyes.

_ He needs to breathe. _

“Good, now I’m gonna go take a shit.”

#  ❀❀❀

Donghyuck doesn’t go take a shit, but he does sit on the toilet for a long time, trying to process whatever the fuck just happened. His chest swirls with an uncomfortable feeling that threatens to overwhelm him. It’s guilt, Donghyuck recognises. He hates it. 

He feels like it’s going to overwhelm him for a moment, in the cramped space of Mark’s bathroom, but he reminds himself to breathe, to let his mind clear for a bit before he dissects everything.

It takes a  _ hot minute  _ to calm himself, but when he does so, it no longer feels like he’s drowning, so he does what usually pains him the most -  _ think. _

Looking deeper at the feeling of guilt that swirls within him, it’s surprisingly not that bad. It still  _ sucks,  _ but it’s not intolerable, so he explores it a bit more.

_ Why is he feeling guilty? _

To put it simply, it’s because Mark has a crush on him, and that  _ he  _ has a crush on Jaehyun. 

He knows that he has no control over who has a crush on him, yet he finds himself  _ confused,  _ because it feels different to the guilt he felt in year eleven. It’s not bone-crushingly painful, he doesn’t feel soul-destroyingly sorry, yet this emotion still ultimately goes by the name of guilt. 

_ So what’s so different? _

Because this time is real? That’s not it - he would feel  _ worse off,  _ not better.

_ Better. Why does he feel better? _

Is it because he’s not dating Jaehyun like he was dating Jeno at the time? Is that it? 

_ No, his feelings for Jaehyun are already too deep to ignore like that. _

The beauty of Jaehyun is one that he’s never really dared to describe. Jaehyun who always seemed so out-of-reach, shrouded in vines of an unrequited love that Donghyuck knows he can’t compare to - not that he wants to. He doesn’t want to replace Johnny, he doesn’t want to dismiss all the years of friendship that they have, the bond between them. What he  _ does  _ want is to be able to bask in the beauty that is Jaehyun for as long as he can. The beauty in which he laughs, the beauty in which he is loyal, the beauty in which he breathes, the beauty in which Donghyuck finds himself so enamoured by. 

He walks on a path of pain from what Donghyuck has gathered, but the beauty in the strength in which he is able to present himself - the confidence, the light and glow he exudes, the pride that holds him up - it’s the way Donghyuck knows he can  _ trust  _ him, that he’s  _ safe  _ with him, the warmth that has eased it’s way into his heart that just feels  _ right.  _ That feels  _ worth it. _

Jaehyun is still very much an unread book that Donghyuck wants to open,  _ craves  _ to open, but he knows it’s not something he can rush. He knows he has to wait. 

It’s a conclusion that he has already come to - but it’s not the conclusion that really adds any explanation to his current issue, so he wracks his brain for something else,  _ anything  _ that can explain why this guilt doesn’t eat him up when he feels so strongly about someone else.

The answer he receives comes unexpectedly in the memories of Chenle and Jisung for some reason. He doesn’t quite understand why he’s recalling how comfortable they are, how they barely have to say a word to one another to just  _ know  _ what the other needs. He doesn’t know why the memory of him laying on the couch when they all went to the beach comes to his mind - to when he looked down on them playing games whilst laying in that T-formation in silence, to when he had thought to himself,  _ ‘he wants what they have.’  _

He’s still confused when his thoughts drift back to Mark. 

Mark that does the little things for him without question. Mark that writes songs with him. Mark that has that small content smile on his face whenever something goes his way. 

He finds himself getting a bit lost in these thoughts. He thinks about the ease in which they bicker, the pretty pink blush that dusts over his cheeks whenever he’s flustered. The way he feels happy when he’s with him - the way he wants to  _ make  _ Mark feel happy and reassured when they’re together. 

Mark who he can always be comfortable around. Mark who he barely has to say a word to for him to just know what he needs. Mark who-  _ wait a minute. _

Oh. 

_ Oh. _

Donghyuck blinks. His mind is quiet. He’s still confused, and he can feel his emotions yelling at him despite the emptiness in his head, but he leaves the bathroom and it’s like the answer he’s been searching for has been in front of him all along.

Mark looks up at him with a disgusted look on his face, “Dude, did you even wash your hands?”

It’s looking at Mark for what feels like the first time, him sitting on his bed with his ruffled hair, just like every other night that he realises that he already has what Chenle and Jisung have.

He feels guilty for not realising it sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehehehhehhh please give me your thoughts . sustain my hunger for comments . fuel my drive . bonus points to whoever makes the least sense whilst still making sense . also this was incredibly fun to write (especially section 4)... was very satisfying bringing back events that happened in previous chapters :)
> 
> also in case it wasn't clear enough: i assure u that this is a jaehyuck fic . it is also a markhyuck fic (because i realised how much i wanted mark to be happy halfway through writing the sunflower scene). just like that old el paso soft vs hard tacos advertisement... why not have both????? we will be addressing this in the next chapter (if things go according to plan)
> 
> chapter title (sorry for not being creative with this one):  
> Breathing Underwater - JIAN


	12. blueberry gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck learns new things everyday, and works out some shit too.

Donghyuck yawns as he lays his head down on the table, willing himself to get a short nap before his shift starts.

It’s not even morning anymore, and any other day he would probably already be at the storefront helping wherever he could, but today isn’t any other day. Today is the day after Mark had confessed to him, the day after he had realised his  _ own  _ feelings for Mark.

After he’d stumbled out of the bathroom last night (and gone back to wash his hands after Mark had reminded him), he’d quickly said goodnight to him with excuses of how the exhaustion of the day’s filming had finally caught up to him. Despite the slight truth that was carried in his words, he couldn’t stop  _ thinking  _ about Jaehyun and Mark, of where he stood with both of them, and after much debate within himself, he had come to a conclusion:  _ worry about it tomorrow.  _

Well, now is tomorrow, and he still hasn’t got a damn clue on what to do.

Donghyuck groans as someone opens the backroom door, but keeps his eyes closed because  _ he’s tired  _ and the alarm he’s set on his phone will let him know when it’s time to work.

_ “Oh my god, Renjun is so cute,”  _ Jaemin giggles as Donghyuck hears the scraping of a chair getting dragged out.

Donghyuck makes a sound of acknowledgment, head still on the table. He sluggishly asks, “What happened to Yangyang?”

Jaemin giggles a bit more before answering, “What do you mean?”

“You like Renjun?”

“Yeah, and?”

“What about Yangyang? Weren’t you in love with him or something?”

“I still am,” Jaemin says slowly. Donghyuck hears the sound of something being put down onto the table, presumably Jaemin’s phone. “I like both of them.”

Donghyuck opens his eyes at the words, his brain having a hard time deciphering his words, “Do they know that?”

“They do,” Jaemin replies simply, sipping his ice coffee, “Or at least Yangyang does. I confessed to him after the arcade.”

“You  _ what?”  _

“I told Yangyang how I felt,” Jaemin repeats as if he was talking about how lovely the weather was today, the only difference being the affection that drips from his voice. “He said he felt the same way, so now we’re together.”

“But what about Renjun?” Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows, a frown on his face, “Isn’t this like... emotional cheating?”

“No? I’ve talked things out with Yangyang already. We’re on the same page on where we stand with Renjun, and we’re thinking of asking him soon.”

Donghyuck is _ lost, _ “Ask him what?”

“If he wants to be with us too?” 

_ Huh.  _

_ Huh? _

“You can do that?” Donghyuck finds himself asking.

“What do you mean?”

“Like…” Donghyuck begins, his brain trying its hardest to process information, “You can be in a relationship with more than one person at a time?”

“Yeah? Polyamory, dude. Have you never heard of it?”

“No?”

Jaemin gives him a stare that is filled with veiled judgment before shrugging as he takes another sip of his coffee, “Well now you have.”

Donghyuck blinks.  _ Time to whip out the good ol’ G**gle. _

#  ❀❀❀

Renjun and Jeno’s couch is something that Donghyuck loves. They got it from a thrift store, the seating is worn in and soft, unlike the stiffness that usually comes with new couches, and is littered with cushions on top that weren’t there last time, but perfect for Donghyuck to burrow his face into and pretend he doesn’t exist.

“Hyuck,” Renjun says exasperatedly for what feels like the hundredth time that night as he looms over Donghyuck’s body curled up on the couch, “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or are you going to continue smothering yourself with my new cushions?”

Donghyuck sniffs, inhaling the unmistakable scent of  _ retail store, “Leave me alone.” _

“You see,  _ I would.  _ Except this is  _ my  _ apartment, and  _ my  _ couch, and your snot is all over  _ my  _ cushions.”

“It’s Jeno’s too,” Donghyuck supplies, his words muffled against the fabric.

Renjun sighs, “At least move over so I can sit.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I am the captain now.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“It doesn’t need to.”

“What?”

“What?”

_ “Hyuck,”  _ Renjun groans. He forcefully lifts Donghyuck’s upper body from the couch and slides underneath before placing Donghyuck’s cushion-smothered head on his lap. He runs his fingers through his hair, “Stop trying to change the topic; you know I’ll listen.”

Donghyuck curls further into himself, feeling the threads of his willpower loosen, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“About?”

“Mark confessed to me.”

The hand in his hair pauses slightly before resuming, “And that’s a bad thing?”

“No! I-” Donghyuck lifts his face from the cushion with wide eyes before sighing and laying his head back down. “I like him, but I also like Jaehyun.”

Renjun nods as a que for him to continue.

“It’s like…” Donghyuck begins, taking a deep breath as the final threads give up its hold, “I  _ just  _ realised I liked Mark after he told me, but does that mean I only like him  _ because  _ he confessed? Does this mean my feelings for him are superficial? Do I only want to be with him because he told me? What kind of person am I? He didn’t even ask me out though, so does he not actually want to be with me? Does he hate me now?”

“Uhh-”

“And what about Jaehyun? Are my feelings for  _ him  _ superficial as well since I’m able to have feelings for Mark? Are my feelings for  _ both  _ of them superficial? Do I  _ actually  _ have feelings for Jaehyun? Or do I just  _ think  _ that I have feelings for him? How did I fall for him so fast? Was it because of his looks?  _ Oh my god, I’m a terrible person.” _

“Hyuck-”

“But I also talked to Jaemin today and he said something about polyamory? And I don’t think  _ he’s _ a terrible person so I guess it’s okay for me to like both of them? To want to be in a relationship with the both of them? But what if-”

“Hyuck,” Jeno’s voice cuts in. He’s standing in front of the couch with his arms crossed, a stern expression on his face. Donghyuck hadn’t even realised he’d entered the apartment. “You’re overthinking this.”

Donghyuck blinks up at him, “I am?”

“You are,” Renjun says softly, still coming his hair, “Jeno and I actually talked about this.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow, “About how I overthink things?”

“No,” Jeno pushes Donghyuck’s legs up so he can sit down, “About Mark. It was obvious that you guys had something going on when we were at the arcade, but we didn’t really wanna bring it up in case we were wrong.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck extends his legs, his body now strewn across both his best friends’ laps as he absorbs their words. 

“I don’t think your feelings for Mark are superficial,” Renjun’s voice feels like a gentle wave of reassurance, “The way you look when he’s around isn’t something you can fake. You look at him like he’s the best gift the world has ever given you - which is  _ false,  _ because it’s obviously me.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, but he can feel his cheeks heat up.

“I don’t think your feelings for Jaehyun are superficial either,” Jeno supplies, his hands resting on Donghyuck’s legs, “I mean, I’ve never met the guy, but the way you talk about him makes me feel like I have? Sure, you might’ve been interested in him because of his looks at first, but that’s natural? And it doesn’t mean it’s only because of that. You were so sure about your feelings before, about how  _ happy  _ and  _ warm  _ and  _ safe  _ he makes you feel, and you can’t just feel those things about someone  _ superficially.” _

“You guys are kinda... making some points,” Donghyuck mumbles.

“Of course we are,” Jeno smiles.

“And  _ hey,”  _ Renjun says cheerily,  _ “The heart wants what the heart wants, man.” _

Donghyuck groans, recognising the quote, “You’ve been hanging out with Jaemin too much.”

Renjun gasps, “I have  _ not.” _

“You kinda have,” Jeno shrugs, “You’re like, barely in the apartment anymore. If you’re not with Jaemin, you’re with Yangyang. If you’re not with Yangyang, you’re with Jaemin. If you haven’t made any plans, then you’re somehow with  _ both  _ of them.”

“Facts,” Donghyuck nods, “Not that I would know, considering I don’t live here and don’t have a schedule of your entire life, but, yeah. Facts.”

“It’s not like you guys are any better,” Renjun huffs, “Jeno  _ just  _ came back from his date with Xuxi, and  _ Hyuck,  _ you’ve been cooped up in Mark’s dorm for the better part of this year. It’s honestly a wonder as to how him having to confess to you is how you realised your own feelings for him when you spend nearly every waking moment with him.”

“That is  _ not  _ true,” Donghyuck exclaims. He pauses for a moment as he thinks over Renjun’s words, realising that he probably spends nearly every  _ sleeping  _ moment with him too, given the number of times he’s spent the night at Mark’s dorm, “Maybe that is  _ slightly  _ true.”

Renjun waves a hand, “Anyway, my turn for this impromptu heart-to-heart.”

“Go on,” Donghyuck gestures for Renjun to continue, already finished with his rant.

“On the topic of polyamory - I’m pretty sure Jaemin and Yangyang are trying to ask me out.”

“Ah,” Donghyuck nods, recalling his previous conversation with Jaemin at work today, “Yes, I heard about that.”

Renjun narrows his eyes, “So they  _ are  _ trying to ask me out?”

“Uh,” Donghyuck responds instead, averting his eyes to the amused expression Jeno adornes. “Is that not a good thing?”

Renjun frowns, “I don’t know.”

“Why not?” Jeno asks, concern replacing his previous amusement, “I thought you liked them?”

“I do,” Renjun says firmly before continuing with a quieter voice, “I’m just scared.” 

“Of?”

“Well,” Renjun looks off to the side, gently swirling his forefinger around strands of Donghyuck’s hair, “You guys know I’m not interested in the whole uh,  _ sexy times  _ department.”

Donghyuck frowns, “If you’re suggesting that you think they’re gonna act weird about you being aesexual, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But I  _ do  _ know that,” Donghyuck asserts, moving to sit up and squeeze himself into the space on the couch between Renjun and Jeno. “Jaemin understands.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not really my place to say,” Donghyuck gives unsurely, “Just trust me on this.”

Renjun looks at him hesitantly before giving a tiny sigh, “I trust you.”

“And if for whatever reason Hyuck turns out to be wrong,” Jeno interjects with a bright smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners, “I’ll beat them up.”

“Oh, yeah, me too,” Donghyuck nods, “If they begin a relationship with you only to leave once they realise you're not interested in the whole  _ sex  _ ordeal, then it's pretty evident that's what they were after all along, and I won’t stand for them playing with your feelings like that.”

"I know Jeno can fight," Renjun laughs fondly, "But  _ Hyuck? _ With your  _ noodle _ arms? I'm pretty sure each of them can take you on with one hand - maybe not Yangyang, but he'd still win."

Donghyuck gasps,  _ "How dare you?  _ I come in bearing  _ gifts.  _ I come in bearing  _ amazing company,  _ and  _ this _ is the thanks I get? Why did you even invite me here?"

“You gave me ten minutes notice before you barged into our apartment holding a singular can of coke when there’s  _ two  _ of us that live here, and then proceeded to lie on  _ my-  _ I mean  _ our  _ couch without a word, and smothered  _ my- our  _ cushions with your face,” Renjun says with a puzzled look on his face before sighing and resting his head on Donghyuck’s shoulder, “But I guess your company  _ is _ amazing.”

Donghyuck smiles.

“To an extent.”

Donghyuck’s smile drops, but Jeno interrupts with a groan of hunger, “Can we order food or something? I’m starving.”

“Didn’t you eat with Sushi?” Donghyuck asks.

“Nah, Renjun texted me about you having some sort of emotional breakdown so I came back,” Jeno sighs and rests his head onto Donghyuck’s free shoulder.

“Oh,” Donghyuck’s little heart warms, “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jeno smiles.

It’s at this moment where Donghyuck is sandwiched between two of his favourite people, warm and content, that he allows himself to think once more in his little cocoon of safety. Well, he allows himself to think for at least a singular second before finally coming to a decision that could either make or break his surprisingly alive love life.

“I’m gonna ask Mark out,” Donghyuck stands up from the couch, feeling determination swim in his veins.

“What?” Renjun looks frazzled as his attention is drawn away from some food delivery app on his phone.

“I’m gonna ask Mark out,” Donghyuck states again, looking down at them, “I’m gonna ask him out tonight.”

“I thought you were freaking out about what to do like ten minutes ago?” Jeno asks baffled, “Like,  _ yay,  _ but aren’t you gonna think about this some more? Maybe sleep on it or something?”

“I wanna do more stupid couple shit with him like Jisung and Chenle do, and the sooner I get to do that, the happier I’ll be,” Donghyuck confesses, “I’ll talk to him about Jaehyun, about… Whatever else there is that needs to be talked about, and if he rejects me, then I’ll just have to suck it up and try not to act like my favourite maths teacher who I may or may not have had a crush on when I was in primary school got engaged to my least favourite english teacher because she put the wrong sticker on my workbook and wouldn’t take it off and replace it with the one I wanted.”

“That’s… really specific,” Jeno inputs.

“Hey, I remember that,” Renjun smiles, reminiscing the past, “You were devastated and sulked for a good month.”

“Yes,  _ anyway,” _ Donghyuck walks away from the couch and picks up his phone from the table, “I’m going to go confess to one of the loves of my life now, so wish me luck.”

A few words of belief later, Donghyuck is out the door, on the train, and on his way to wherever the fuck Mark is and-  _ ah, shit.  _ He probably should’ve worked that out before hopping onto the train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello .. it has been a hot minute... but here i am with a short chapter that i re-wrote around five times :') 
> 
> i hope u enjoyed !! and this time the bonus points go to my favourite thread in the comments (that's right, now y'all gotta interact with each other because i think it'd be fun, but even if this doesn't happen, i still appreciate and love all the things i've seen in the comments)
> 
> also please read my [spooky chenji](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27303265) fic if you're interested ! it was very fun to write :D
> 
> chapter title:  
> Blueberry Eyes - MAX ft SUGA


	13. gay yourself together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehyun's scars and an overdue confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw scars, mention of mental health issues, mention of injury, mention of unhealthy work headspace

Donghyuck watches as Mark and Jaehyun pass the basketball to and fro one another, the court lights making their shadows stretch across the ground. He doesn’t know how they’re both wearing shorts when it’s bordering the edge of Winter, and honestly he doesn't quite  _ want  _ to understand why either, already comfortable enough sitting on the bench in his sweatpants.

When he’d left Renjun and Jeno’s apartment with intention to ask Mark if he wanted to be  _ boyfriends,  _ he’d gotten on a train headed to campus under the assumption that Mark was at the dorms. A quick text of  _ “youre at the dorms yeah?”,  _ a near panic attack when Mark had responded with  _ “im not tho ??”  _ and a breath of relief of  _ “im on campus with jae at the bb courts”  _ later, Donghyuck finds himself looking at the loves of his life with badly veiled fondness.

"Hyuck, aren't you gonna join?" Jaehyun asks when they walk over for a water break, "It's been half an hour since you arrived and I know you said you weren’t big on exercise, but I feel like you're just here for moral support more than anything."

"Yeah, all you've really done is cheer whenever one of us lands a goal," Mark says after taking a gulp from his bottle, "Which is honestly not often."

Donghyuck shrugs, "I like watching you guys play."

It's true. Watching Jaehyun and Mark dance around the court is  _ interesting.  _ They seem to be able to communicate with body language alone - probably due to the years they have of knowing each other. Although it’s somewhat of a weird feeling to be part of the audience when it involves people you are most definitely crushing on, he also feels kinda content with it? Spending time with the both of them is comfortable and simply  _ nice  _ despite the chill of the night, and asking Mark out can wait just a bit longer if it means this is the trade off.

“Suit yourself,” Jaehyun brings his own water bottle up to his mouth, tilting his head back and drinking it like he’s some kind of sports brand ambassador. His Adam’s apple bobs as he does so, and Donghyuck has to keep his eyes glued to the ground to keep himself from staring.

It’s when Donghyuck’s eyes are meant to be on the ground that he notices a scar running over Jaehyun’s knee, realising he’s never actually seen Jaehyun’s bare legs before (as weird as that sounds), the limbs usually covered by his choice of pants rather than shorts.

“What’s that scar from?” He asks without thinking, and then immediately regrets the words when he registers the expression of panic on Mark’s face as he looks between them, and the tenseness in Jaehyun’s arm as he grips the water bottle. “Wait, ignore that, sorry.”

_ Trust him to open his mouth. _

“Nah, I don’t mind,” Jaehyun says after a beat of silence, putting his bottle back onto the bench. He looks to be in thought for a moment before he brings his right leg up and props it onto the seat, letting Donghyuck see the scar properly. It runs from somewhere underneath where his shorts reach his knee, down to around a quarter of his shin, less than a centimetre thick. “Knee replacement surgery in high school. Nothing much.”

He doesn’t know when Mark’s hand found its way onto his shoulder, but Donghyuck can feel the nervousness in it, so he brings his own hand up to hold onto it, hoping he can give some sort of comfort. 

_ “Nothing much?” _

Donghyuck glances at Mark in surprise at the disbelief in his voice. Mark holds his hand tighter, knuckles turning white.

Jaehyun holds his gaze steadily, a firmness in his voice when he repeats his words, “Yeah. It’s in the past, and it was nothing much.”

“How long are you going to say that for?” Mark sounds frustrated, exasperation clear in his voice.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen a fraction at the question, mouth open to retort, but Donghyuck beats him to it with intention of trying to de-escalate things, “Mark-”

“Stay out of this,” Mark turns his head to him sharply; only realising he’s snapped when Donghyuck pulls his hand away with his heart stinging from the words. There’s regret when Mark speaks again, and he hesitates when Donghyuck flinches his hand away as he tries to hold it, “I- I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m sorry, I know you’re just trying to help.”

Donghyuck is weak, and forgives him instantly.

“Mark,” Jaehyun says with gentle eyes as he puts his foot back on the ground. He brushes the bench with his hand, moves the water bottle onto the floor and sits down next to Donghyuck. He motions for Mark to do the same as Donghyuck scoots closer to Jaehyun to make room, and Mark sits on Donghyuck’s other side without a word of protest. “Are you sure you wanna talk about this right now?”

Mark clenches his hand into a fist. He looks scared, and Donghyuck thinks he’s going to back pedal a bit, but then he nods. He sounds like he’s still debating within himself when he speaks, like he’s not sure if it’s the right decision, “If not now, when?”

Donghyuck has half a mind to ask as he moves to stand up, “Should I leave?”

“Stay,” both Mark and Jaehyun say as they hold onto each of his arms before Mark coughs, looking off to the side with cheeks tinted a light pink.

“It was probably only a matter of time before we had this conversation anyway,” Jaehyun sighs, and it’s only when Jaehyun looks at him does Donghyuck realise he’s about to find out some  _ shit.  _ Asking Mark out is gonna have to wait until the indefinite future now, he supposes. Jaehyun clears his throat, “Anyway, you know how I was a trainee?”

Donghyuck nods, feeling Mark fiddle with the bagginess of his sweatpants timidly.

“Well, I was really clear on what I wanted back then, and I was willing to do anything to achieve it. I already had a spot in the debut lineup, which meant I had to work to  _ continue  _ to be in that position, and that meant pushing myself to limits that no fifteen year old should ever be exposed to. I was basically a machine, ignoring all my studies and pouring my all into unhealthy working hours and habits. I barely slept, I barely ate, and all I did was dance and sing and pretend that everything was alright, that  _ I  _ was alright, that it was all for my future, that it would all pay off.”

Jaehyun pauses a bit before continuing.

“It evidently didn’t pay off,” he gestures to the scar over his knee. “One day I fell down the stairs in my own house, and I couldn’t stand up. Johnny found me bleeding at the bottom of the stairs with tears down my face, and I remember him shielding Mark so he couldn’t see the fucking mess I was.”

Mark holds onto his hand again, and Donghyuck lets him this time.

“After the ambulance came and I went to the hospital, the doctor said I didn’t break my leg, and I let out a breath of relief, but then they started talking about my knee, and how damaged it had become - not because of the fall, but because of I’ve overworked it. They said I wouldn’t be able to perform anymore. I admit I wasn’t in the best place for a long time. I was in denial. I was angry. I basically went through all five stages of grief over a career that I was so sure I could accomplish.”

It’s rushed and it feels like he’s trying to just sweep it all under the rug, but it’s his story, and Donghyuck isn’t going to make him relive the details he glosses over. Stories are only ever what you tell, and missing gaps always serve a purpose, whether they be for the benefit of the audience or the teller.

“But Johnny… He was there for me every single step of the way, you know?” Jaehyun looks out onto the basketball courts with a warm fondness in his eyes and the familiar sadness that lies beneath. “It didn’t matter what I said, what sharp words I had as a shield. He was there for me without fail, and I owe him so much for helping me get my life back, for reminding me that I was just a dumb teenager who still had his whole life ahead of him.”

He feels his heart sink a little, as it always does when Jaehyun mentions Johnny’s name, but it’s different in this context, serving as an explanation for the way things are the way they are. And for that, he’s thankful that he has the opportunity to understand, thankful that Jaehyun trusts him enough to be this vulnerable, because before everything else, a friendship built on mutual trust and understanding has always held great importance to him.

“But why do you still say that it was ‘nothing much’?” Mark asks, his voice small.

“Because it’s in the past. I’m happy with where I am currently, and..” Jaehyun trails off before reaching over Donghyuck and ruffling Mark’s hair, “As stupid as it sounds, I didn’t want to look weak to you.”

“You could never look weak to me,” Mark replies, an honest frown on his face. His hair sticks up a bit when Jaehyun removes his hand, and Donghyuck smooths it down fondly.

Jaehyun gives that gentle smile of his, and with a closing statement, the story ends, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

It makes Donghyuck feel a bit like mush, letting Jaehyun drape an arm around his shoulders as Mark fits himself into his side. He doesn’t know how else to describe it other than warm and safe, bathing in the comfort of two human heaters that he has romantic feelings for, but he thinks he doesn’t really need to be able to, not when it feels this right. Not when it feels like this is right where he’s supposed to be. 

He wonders if they feel just as content as he does. He hopes they do.

#  ❀❀❀

After Mark and Jaehyun had run up and down the court a few more times, goodbyes were said and hugs were given as the emotional weight of Jaehyun’s story took its toll on the atmosphere, neither of them wanting to really sweat themselves in the coldness of the night any longer. 

Donghyuck had initially gone straight up to his dorm to take a shower and change clothes (the small pout on Mark’s face when he pressed Donghyuck’s floor on the elevator did not go unnoticed. He had to hold himself back from cooing), but now that personal hygiene was out of the way, he takes it upon himself to barge into Mark’s room unannounced, ready to give the best bloody confession that’s ever been made as his vigor from before returns.

_ If not now, when?  _

Those words echo in Donghyuck’s head, and looking (staring) at Mark’s lanky frame sitting on the bed makes him think that there could not be a better opportunity or time or place than right here, right now. 

(The writer believes there could definitely be a better time for this, but Donghyuck just does what he wants.)

“Um,” Mark breaks the silence when Donghyuck proceeds to continue staring at him, “Are you gonna tell me why you just barged into my room?”

Which Donghyuck thinks is _ridiculous,_ rolling his eyes as he counters his question, finally moving from the door and taking his own seat on the bed, “When have I _ever_ given you notice?”

“True,” Mark purses his lips. It’s quiet for another beat before he speaks again, “But you do look like you have something to say.”

_ Well here goes nothing. _

“I think you’re really neat.”

_ That was not what was planned. _

“I think you’re really neat as well?” Mark tilts his head with a confused smile. Donghyuck thinks asking for his hand in marriage would be a great idea.

“Yeah, I know, I mean- I just-” Donghyuck stutters around his words. This was  _ a lot _ easier in his head.

“You…?” Mark urges him to continue.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath,  _ ‘fuck it’,  _ he thinks, and lets his words find their own way out of his mouth.

“I think you’re one of the neatest people I’ve ever met, and I’m not talking about in a cleanliness way, like have you  _ seen  _ your bathroom? That is a warzone right there- wait we’re getting off track,  _ um,  _ I just think that you’re one of the most important people in my life right now, and that you’re going to be one of the most important people in my life later as well, and I  _ really really  _ like the idea of you being an important person in my life in the future as well as in the present, and what I’m trying to say is that I like you as well? And that I’m sorry for not realising what he had until last night? I really think this is something that’s going to work, because it’s  _ already  _ working, and if you want, we can make it work some more? Oh, but I  _ do  _ need to mention that I also have feelings for Jae, which is a thing that is also really important to me? And I know it’s not easy to accept that I have feelings for the  _ both  _ of you, but it’s the truth, and I need you to know that.”

Donghyuck shoots a glance and sees Mark blinking at him with his mouth open, gaping a bit like a fish.

“You look like a fish,” he laughs and cuts himself off before sighing, because it’s pretty evident that he is really  _ not  _ great at confessions, “I’m doing a really bad job at asking you out, aren’t I?”

“You’re asking me out?” 

He still looks like a fish, but Donghyuck holds his tongue and answers the question instead with a little, “Yeah?”

“Is this- are you fucking with me?” Mark asks. The hope in his eyes kinda makes him want to cry.

“I’m not fucking with you, Mark. I really like you, and I want to do all the stupidly endearing couple shit that couples do that we already kinda do,” Donghyuck confesses as he looks down, trying to hide the warmth in his cheeks. He hesitantly reaches a hand out, smiling as he feels the unmistakable grasp of Mark’s hand holding his own. His smile falters a bit as he looks up, “You  _ did  _ hear the part where I said I have feelings for Jaehyun as well, right?”

And Donghyuck holds his breath as Mark nods, holds his breath as Mark smiles, holds his breath as Mark holds his hand tighter, holds his breath when Mark says, “Well, we can work it out together, right? If it’s with you, I think I know everything will be okay, that we’ll be able to go somewhere that’s right for us,” and he cries when Mark adds, “For the three of us.”

“You mean it?” he sniffles, and Mark’s free hand wipes away the wetness on his cheeks with a small laugh.

“I mean it,” Mark affirms, letting go of Donghyuck’s hand to wrap both of his arms around Donghyuck’s frame, enveloping him in a hug full of reassurance and something like the warmth he felt when he was on the bench with his body molded against the two men who have made a rather prominent place his heart.

“I was so worried about it,” Donghyuck cries into the nook between Mark’s neck and shoulder. The hug somehow grows tighter. “Why the  _ fuck  _ am I crying?”

“Probably because you’re happy? I’m really happy too - happier than I’ve been in a long time,” the smile in his voice clear as day, “You make me happy, did you know that, Hyuck?”

_ “Oh, fuck you,”  _ Donghyuck cries harder, his heart feeling like an g*nshin imp*ct elemental reaction between fire and electricity superconducting and exploding, “You’re just doing this on purpose now.”

“Yeah, I am,” Mark pulls away, staring down at him with fondness. He reaches over to the box of tissues on the floor near the head of the mattress, “Sorry.”

“You should be,” he mutters as he takes a tissue out and wipes his eyes, “I came here to get a boyfriend… but at what cost…”

It’s a few more moments after calming himself down that they manage to agree on boyfriends  _ (boyfriends!!!!!!!),  _ and after Donghyuck  _ insists  _ on the both of them sleeping on the single bed despite the both of them being nearly fully grown  _ men,  _ they manage to somehow lie side by side, contentedness swallowing him head to toe.

It’s only  _ slightly  _ uncomfortable-

“Dude, can you maybe  _ not  _ kick me?” 

“Shut up, I’m trying to get comfortable here.”

“Yeah, but you don’t need to  _ kick me.” _

“It’s not  _ my  _ fault your bed is so  _ bloody small.  _ Get a bigger bed.”

_ “You’re the one that wanted to sleep up here.” _

“Fine, I’ll just return to the mattress. Is that what you want?”

_ “Wait, come back it’s cold.” _

_ “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” _

But they make it work, and that’s all that really matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> exams have been over for awhile now, but i've honestly been feeling? so very off about my writing. i love this universe way too much to leave it (so you don't have to worry about that and as you can see this is only part 1 of radioverse... i have lots planned for other character stories). my mental health has however, been taking me ages to gather the energy to write, so it might take a fair amount of time as i try to pick myself back up (sorry in advance). 
> 
> as always... stay safe and i love you :] thank u for reading and i hope this chapter was able to make your day better if it wasn't that great, and even better if it was already great!
> 
> i forgot to add this but please leave christmas prompts in the comments! no promises to whether i'll write it, but ... yeah !
> 
> chapter title:  
> Get Yourself Together - Sunflower


	14. Can I Gay ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night and home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hits you with a baseball bat* GOOD VIBES

“You are such an asshole, do you know that?” Donghyuck hisses whilst clutching his hand. The  _ asshole  _ that injured his hand lays on his lap, a chonky mass of a unit with white fur and black ears, socks and tail that ignores the daggers currently shooting out of his eyes. 

He’s currently in Ten and Johnny’s apartment, some high-rise building that two university students should definitely  _ not  _ have been able to afford if it weren’t for the fact that both of them already have both feet planted firmly into their professional careers (Johnny works at some broadcasting station and Ten is a pretty well-known dance instructor and choreographer). They’ve migrated here for one reason and one reason only.

The cat-

It’s  _ movie night. _

“Why are you looking at Louis like that?” Jaehyun laughs as he sits down next to Donghyuck and scratches under the cat’s chin.

“He was grooming me and we were having a  _ moment,”  _ He begins dramatically, still glaring at the object of his betrayal,  _ “And then he bit me out of nowhere.” _

“Aww, you are  _ such  _ an asshole, Louis. The cutest little asshole ever,” Jaehyun coos. Louis starts purring under both of their attention, Jaehyun still scratching his chin whilst Donghyuck strokes his back. He eyes him carefully with light concern, “Is your hand alright though?”

Donghyuck brings his hand up with a frown, directing him to the small red indent where Louis bit him,  _ “Look.” _

Jaehyun cradles his hand, assessing the damage with what Donghyuck hopes is an affectionate look in his gaze. There’s a hint of a tease in his voice, “Want me to kiss it better?”

He’s joking, Donghyuck  _ knows  _ he’s joking because he’s already starting to let go of his hand, but Donghyuck is  _ Donghyuck,  _ and he never backs away from a challenge (and an opportunity) when he sees one. 

“Yes.”

It appears to catch Jaehyun off-guard. His ears turn red and his eyes grow a bit wide, but Jaehyun is also just  _ Jaehyun,  _ a competitive spirit that doesn’t back away from challenges either, so he holds Donghyuck’s hand tighter, gives him a look that dares him to say no, and then places a gentle peck on the bite that feels more like a flutter of butterfly wings than anything else. 

Donghyuck feels like he’s on top of the world.

He doesn’t have much time to really react to it though, because Johnny is rounding the space with Ten, the two of them making their way to the opposite couch. Jaehyun drops his hand as if burned  _ (ow), _ but Mark appears a second later, a slight frown on his face when he sees the little space left on the couch, and Donghyuck lets his heart do a little flip at how cute his  _ boyfriend  _ is.

“Where do I sit?” Mark looks at him, just as Louis jumps off of Donghyuck’s lap with no warning and saunters away somewhere.

“Aw, that was my heater,” Donghyuck pouts at the cat hair that has gathered onto his clothes, and then looks at Mark. He beams and pats his lap for him to sit down. 

Mark looks a bit hesitant as he warily glances towards the others but ultimately obliges, cheeks a pretty pink when Donghyuck wraps his arms around his waist and kisses his neck.

It doesn’t go unnoticed, as Jaehyun raises an amused brow at them, “Now when did  _ this  _ happen?”

“Huh?” Donghyuck answers smartly, distracted by the warmth and comfort of his  _ new and improved  _ heater.

“Two nights ago,” Mark answers for them, turning so that his back rests against the couch’s arm, extending his legs out to lay over Jaehyun’s, to which the latter welcomingly allows.

They’ve agreed to keep things on the  _ down-low,  _ but definitely not a secret. Johnny had found out after locking the door behind him when Donghyuck had walked into the radio booth, all six feet of Johnny towering over him demanding,  _ “What are your intentions with my brother?” _

(Donghyuck was definitely not intimidated, nor did he cry. He is strong.)

(Okay, he  _ almost  _ cried, but Mark gave him lots and lots of kisses after so it was worth it.)

Donghyuck messaged  _ The Gang _ with the news the morning after, receiving lots of heart emojis in response from Jeno and Renjun, and a confused  _ “when tf” _ from Chenle on behalf of Jisung. 

So really, it was only a matter of how and when Jaehyun was going to find out. He didn’t think it’d be this casual of a setting, all of them piled onto Johnny and Ten’s couch for a Ghostbusters marathon, something so important to them introduced in such a simple way, but Jaehyun barely even looks that phased with the news. 

Donghyuck doesn’t know how to feel about that, but as the night goes on and he finds himself molding into Mark and Jaehyun, he’s simply thankful that they can still be this comfortable around each other without the overhanging topic of  _ “two of my friends are now dating each other”  _ preventing them from displays of physical affection that may or may not have several meanings.

“Do you guys really need to sit like that?” Johnny asks as the credits of the second movie start rolling. He sits alone on the couch now, Ten leaving to go to Kun’s after the latter had called him with some sort of emergency.

“Like what?” Donghyuck feigns obliviousness. They’re a drastic contrast to the loneliness on Johnny’s couch, the three of them still squished together on the two-seater. He nuzzles further into Jaehyun’s neck as Mark sprawls over them. 

“This is very comfortable,” Mark justifies, his head resting on Donghyuck’s shoulder, “Right, Jae?”

“It’s true,” Jaehyun shrugs, gesturing to Donghyuck’s arm wrapped around his own, “Very warm. Very nice.”

“You guys are really making me feel kinda lonely over here,” Johnny frowns. He pats the empty seat next to him, “Jae, you’re barely even in that cuddle pile. Don’t you want more room?”

“Hmm,” Jaehyun appears deep in thought, as if contemplating the pros and cons of Johnny’s suggestion. Donghyuck prepares himself for Jaehyun to uproot and move over, so it catches him off guard when he looks down at them for a second, at the way they’re all entangled. He can nearly pinpoint the moment Jaehyun’s body relaxes, accepting his fate as part of the human heater, “I think I’m good.”

It makes his insides feel funny.

#  ❀❀❀

Contrary to what people might think, Mark ends up being his number one Jaehyun supporter.

“He  _ kissed  _ your hand?” Mark gasps as they lay side by side on his bed. His eyes are wide as he asks for confirmation, shining with what Donghyuck believes is excitement.

He nods proudly in response, “I mean it was more of a peck? But a kiss is a kiss nonetheless.”

“Damn, Hyuck,” Mark gives an impressed whistle, “You’re hooking boys in left and right.”

“Who’s hooking boys in left and right?” Jaehyun asks as he emerges from the bathroom, taking his seat on the chair.

They’d commuted to Mark’s very tiny studio dorm after movie night was over - Johnny left to go pick Ten up because the public transport shut down, and that left Jaehyun with Mark and Donghyuck, both of whom didn’t want the evening to end just yet. So when Jaehyun had finally arrived at the university campus dorms in his minivan to drop them off, they’d managed to persuade him to come up as well.

(Donghyuck thinks Mark has very convincing puppy eyes. He, personally, would drop everything for him in a heartbeat and isn’t afraid to admit it.)

“Hyuck!” Mark answers proudly, moving to sit up with the gracefulness of a baby deer on ice, “My boyfriend is stealing so many hearts.”

Donghyuck snorts as he sits up as well, resting against the headboard of the bed.

“And you’re okay with that?” Jaehyun raises a brow as he crosses his arms. He doesn’t sound accusatory, his tone is more along the lines of curious if anything. It bubbles a strange feeling in his chest, a mixture of anxiety and hope as he tries to work out where this conversation will lead to - or if it will even lead to somewhere at all.

“Well, it depends on who’s heart he’s stealing,” Mark shrugs. Donghyuck mentally compliments him for his unwavering gaze and steady voice, “But I’m happy for him to take this boy’s heart because this boy kinda has mine too.”

Donghyuck’s eyes grow a little wider at that, at the new information he files away for another time, and at his boyfriend’s bold choice of words. His surprise is evidently mirrored on Jaehyun’s face, and he would nearly think the said boy was blushing with his strikingly red ears, if it weren’t for the way he shivers a bit as he pulls over a hoodie because of the chill of the night. 

_ “Mark,”  _ Donghyuck dramatically gasps when a blanket of barely there awkward silence drapes over the trio, a hand to his chest as he tries not to laugh at Mark’s confused expression in response to the sudden outburst of his name,  _ “That’s gay.” _

He only barely dodges the pillow Mark throws at his head, but the chesty laugh Jaehyun glows at them with is something he thinks he’d pay a lot more for.

#  ❀❀❀

Jaehyun gravitates onto Mark’s bed as well at some point, the three of them half-sitting, half-lying down on the small surface in a tight triangle of warmth as Donghyuck pulls up a photo on his phone, one that Renjun had sent him on his date with Jaemin and Yangyang. It’s of a boy roughly their age sitting behind a drum set on stage, an attractive ghost of a smirk on his face. 

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows in disbelief at the photo, “I know that guy.”

“Like, personally?” Mark’s head tilts to the side curiously, as he angles the phone to get a better look. 

“Yeah? I mean it’s been a while,” He replies unsurely with a shrug, “I know him from my trainee days.”

Donghyuck hums at the information, interest peaked as he rests his head on Mark’s shoulder, “What’s his name?”

“Shotaro,” Jaehyun answers, and a smile makes its way onto his face, fond with a hint of something akin to sadness, his eyes still trained on the image, “It’s cool to see how he’s doing.”

“You guys don’t have each others’ details?” Mark asks, moving to accommodate Donghyuck’s presence on his shoulder.

“We do… Or did?” Jaehyun gives a hesitant frown, guilt in his voice, “We were really close, but… This gonna make me sound like an ass, but after the accident, I stopped replying to his texts and calls, and he eventually gave up trying to reach me, I guess. We weren’t allowed to have social media when we were trainees either, so it’s a bit of an  _ L.” _

Donghyuck nudges him with his toe, “Have you ever thought about searching up his name on facebook or something? Try to reach out? Or even just give him a text to see if the number still works?”

“It’d be a lie to say that I haven’t,” Jaehyun sighs, “But it’s just not that easy, y’know? It’s been years since I talked to him, and the last time I did... It just wasn’t all that great. There’s the whole ignoring all his texts and calls, too. He probably hates me, if we’re being honest.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” The corners of Mark’s mouth turn downward at the words, “He might actually be thinking  _ you  _ hate  _ him,  _ considering you acted like he didn’t exist.”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck agrees, “I think trying to talk to him again might be worth it. You can rekindle your friendship and all that.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Well, I might not know that much about him, but I know that  _ you  _ still feel guilty for ending things the way you did, and you probably can’t fuck it up any more than you already have,” he says honestly, “You’ve got nothing to lose that hasn’t already been lost.”

He doesn’t quite know what kind of response he expected, but it definitely wasn’t for Jaehyun to look at him with a quiet fondness that makes his insides stir all gooey and shit, or for him to speak with such a genuine tone that sends him into a puddle of absolute mush. 

“You’re amazing, do you know that?”

His brain reboots in gay as he stares at him blankly, trying to process the words that came out of seemingly nowhere.

“I’ll try talk to him,” Jaehyun continues after a beat, a gentle smile on his face, “Closure is always nice.”

Mark leans up and reaches out his hand toward him, sticking his pinky up, “Promise?”

“I promise,” Jaehyun replies, wrapping his pinky around Mark’s, causing Donghyuck to bubble over with adoration. He still feels a bit out of it, malfunctioning from the earlier compliment, and it only continues when Jaehyun voluntarily tucks them into the cramped single bed as they crash for the night, taking one for the team and turning the light off before flumping down onto Donghyuck’s usual place on the foldable mattress on the floor. 

It’s awfully domestic in a way that feels right, and it continues into his dreams of the three of them that night; of cuddles under a weighted blanket on a three-seater couch, of kisses on both of his cheeks, and of a place he calls home. 

A place he’s already found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit late but happy new year !!!!!!! how did everyone spend new years ?? i personally spent it watching barbie in swan lake with some friends! i also have 5 (fake) ikea plants now: rufus, tooth, egg, juice, and daddy plant legs! if interested in seeing my children, drop smth in my [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/fIowerzens) and I'll link the tweet :D
> 
> as always i hope this chapter was able to bring comfort to many in a time of uncertainty, and a smile on your face with some (if i did my job right) hahas. stay safe please.
> 
> chapter title:  
> Can I Love ? - Cosmic Boy, youra, Meego


	15. love like gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehyun

It’s strange, Jaehyun thinks, how much your world can change in the span of a few months, a few years, or even in the span of a few minutes, a few seconds.

For as long as he’s known Johnny, the guy has always been tall, kind, good-looking. An air of confidence followed him, charming and bright, and it never failed to be the centre of Jaehyun’s focus. Life as a trainee could be tiring sometimes, but seeing Johnny and his little brother through their house window as he walked by in the early moments of the morning after dancing and singing for hours was a comfort that warmed his heart. 

Jaehyun hadn’t noticed that comfort growing, turning into a crush that would eventually develop into his first, and so far  _ only  _ love. He couldn’t have foreseen what it would become several years down the road. If he had, then he wouldn’t have let it grow into an unrequited love that could only result in heartache on his end. 

Soon after he’d discovered his crush, he would exert himself more at practice, a convenient distraction from his feelings, and soon after that, he would injure himself and lose everything he had been working towards. He’ll be angry for a moment, scared the next, and Johnny would be giving him the stability and assurance he needed. A few months of going back and forth to rehabilitation with Johnny by his side would pass, and Jaehyun would look back and pinpoint this as when he realised his crush was much more than just a crush.

It would be his first love, coloured in beautiful shades of pink because that’s what loving Johnny feels like to him, and it would smell of axe body spray because Johnny hadn’t quite grown out of that phase yet. 

And then Johnny would soon graduate from high school and move out and he would rarely come home to visit his family. To visit  _ him.  _

So Jaehyun would attach himself to the newest and shiniest object he could find: Jungwoo. A new student in the same class as him, handsome, funny, and charming. It’s a different kind of charming that Johnny was. One more introverted, private, and Jaehyun would grow enthralled. 

At least for a short while, he would forget about Johnny. Sometimes. 

He would ignore Mark at times, because seeing him reminded him of Johnny, and when Mark would open his mouth to tell him all about how Johnny  _ “met this really cool guy called Ten!”,  _ his chest would ache and contract and well, to put it in plain words, not have a good time. Mark would then beg him to sing for his tracks with big round eyes, and Jaehyun would sigh but oblige, because saying no to Mark was just something he couldn’t bring himself to do.

Time would pass again, but now he’d be at the same university as Johnny, and they would be deemed inseparable best friends. It’d make Jaehyun happy; not as happy as he could be, but happy nonetheless. He’d try to find flaws in Ten after meeting him for the first time, but then he’d notice the way Johnny and Ten would look at each other, fond and beautiful, and Jaehyun would learn to swallow down his jealousy. He trades it for a broken heart, a radio club, and a family, and he thinks it’s enough. It’s okay. He’s happy.

Mark would join them shortly after, taller than Jaehyun remembers him being. He still has big doe eyes that he can’t refuse, but he’s grown up, ready to dive into the world of adulthood, and although it takes some getting used to, it’s nice to be able to call him a proper friend. It’s cool. He’s cool. 

He tries to ignore the way Mark looks at him with sparkles in his eyes, because that’s  _ Johnny’s  _ younger brother. His  _ best friend’s  _ younger brother. 

He succeeds, for the most part.

His world wouldn’t really change all that much for the rest of that year. He would discover a new artist named  _ Haechan  _ on YouTube that will make him feel like he’s resting under the sun. He’d send some of Haechan’s covers to his friends, because a voice like this should be shared and treasured. And he’d feel nice. Content. 

Safe.

He’s still not completely over Johnny, kinda difficult when you’re  _ best friends,  _ but he’s had years of experience in dealing with Johnny-related circumstances, so he simply takes it in stride as he’s always done, and lives with it. It hurts sometimes, but losing him would hurt more.

Jaehyun’s world shakes a bit when the next academic year begins.

He meets a nice guy called Donghyuck, who faints upon their first meeting. He’s cute, and something urges him to get to know him more. He finds that Donghyuck somehow seems to embody the sun in the way he looks and speaks, bright and full of enthusiasm. His skin is warm to the touch, comforting, and Jaehyun feels a bit like a cat basking under the warmth of the sun whenever Donghyuck’s attention is on him. 

It does a funny little thing to Jaehyun’s heart when he finds out Donghyuck is the voice behind the artist he discovered last year.

It does another funny little thing to his heart when he hears the songs that Donghyuck and Mark produce.

And it does  _ another  _ funny little thing to his heart whenever he sees the two of them together in their own little world.

It’s a  _ nice  _ funny little thing, mostly.

His world shakes a bit again when that nice funny little thing turns sour for a brief moment, seeing the two of them  _ without him,  _ and it’s  _ dumb, _ so incredibly  _ dumb  _ when he storms into the radio booth to escape. It doesn’t help when Johnny comes in to ask him about it, doesn’t help when Ten asks if he’s  _ jealous.  _ He’s confused about what these  _ funny little things  _ mean, lost again, and Johnny and Ten are the last people he wants to talk to about his love life. So he lashes out at them and tries to ignore the worried expression on Donghyuck’s face when he leaves, and the frightened look on Mark’s.

He feels strange when Donghyuck comes after him, but life has a funny way of giving you answers, and his answer to his confusion comes when he feels Donghyuck’s head fall onto his shoulder in an impromptu nap, and his adrenaline from before disintegrates into utter  _ mush. _

It’s safe to say that he notices his crush grow this time around, notices Donghyuck and Mark grow closer, and most importantly, he notices the way the two of them look at  _ him  _ with stars in their eyes, the glow in their cheeks, and the fondness in their voices. 

It doesn’t surprise him when they start dating. They don’t really talk about it, but maybe that’s his fault for acting nonchalant when inside he’s a cauldron bubbling over with excitement for the two.

The nonchalance is some sort of reflex, Jaehyun assumes. Years of swallowing down his feelings for Johnny have led to this. He can’t help but feel a bit scared with the prospect of whatever this could be, or if it could be anything at all. He’s grown accustomed to his feelings for Johnny, and it’s hard to say whether the same feelings are still there. Things are bound to change, he knows this, but he’s never been able to imagine a life without being tied down by those feelings, at least not until Donghyuck came along.

He’s not quite ready to let go, but maybe soon he will.

Soon he’ll bask under the familiar sun again, only this time, he’ll have two hands to hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter short and different from all the previous chapters but it was fun to write also there are only 2 chapters left probably unless i put it all into one chapter but who knows we shall see ??????? my plan is to finish this before uni starts
> 
> as always... i hope this made u smile a bit ??? give u some warm and fuzzies ??? if u had a bad day, or if you're having trouble vibing... this one's for u but also if u did have a good day i hope this made it even better :D
> 
> tldr i love u and thank u for still reading this mess i appreciate u all a lot
> 
> Chapter Title:  
> Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar (yes, this is from Steven Universe. i don't really watch it but i know some of the lore and also i watched a tgcf fan-made animation with this as the track and i started crying and i only watched the donghua and read the manhua so idek most of the context but i still cried it's really cute and sad at the same time)


	16. P GAY R T Y ! P GAY R T Y !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you know what time it is? It must be party time!

Donghyuck has been to parties before; loud, crowded with teenagers and axe body spray clogging up the cramped spaces, so it’s a nice change of pace when he finds this one to be a bit calmer, not as cramped as he expected, and not full of expired soju on sale for five dollars.

The house is decently sized, two floors with enough space for a large gathering of people to sleep comfortably. Although this is supposed to be a gathering of twenty-something, some opted out of staying the night, purely there just to hang, with no  _ bat-shit drunk  _ shenanigans in mind, so Kun and Johnny were able to cut the prices a bit down on the venue. 

Donghyuck has no sense of fear tonight. It’s his birthday, he is living his absolute best life right now, and he has Mark to take care of him, after all. And his friends. His friends are here too (apart from Jisung and Chenle because they have exams soon).

Excitement had been running through his veins for the past few days. He has this overwhelming feeling that something  _ big  _ is going to happen tonight. Something  _ big  _ and  _ good,  _ and although these are the only adjectives that come to his mind,  _ big  _ and  _ good  _ are two words he will welcome. Mark was confused when he heard this, maybe because it was three in the morning, but he nodded anyway, and that’s all Donghyuck needs for validation.

Nothing can ruin his night.

_ “Jeno!”  _ Donghyuck gasps as he witnesses the scene before him. He stumbles across the room and rushes to push Jeno off of Lucas’ lap from where they were  _ making out  _ on the couch _.  _ He’s in disbelief, watching the pair pick themselves up again. “What on  _ earth  _ are you  _ doing?!” _

“What do you mean?” Jeno groans from where he fell to the floor, groaning again when Lucas pulls him up to his feet.

_ “He’s not Sushi!”  _

“I’m not Sushi,” Lucas confirms, confused. He holds Jeno steady with a hand on his hip.

_ “See?”  _ Donghyuck exclaims.

“My name is  _ Xuxi.” _

“Yeah,  _ Jeno, _ his name is  _ Xuxi-  _ wait  _ what?  _ Aren’t you  _ Lucas?” _

“I am.” 

_ Huh? _

Jeno looks at him like he’s grown another head before he and Lucas exchange a glance and they both  _ laugh  _ and Donghyuck doesn’t know  _ what is so funny  _ when Jeno is  _ cheating on Sushi _ -

“Hyuck.”

“What?” Donghyuck answers, his brain running millions of miles a minute as he blinks between the two of them. He’s on the border of drunk, lost count of the number of drinks he’s had after one, and doesn’t have Mark here to save him.

“I’m gonna need you to actually  _ think  _ for a moment.”

“Jeno, literally  _ what  _ are you talking about?” and then he gasps again when Jeno just  _ ignores him,  _ resuming his previous position on Lucas’ lap. It leaves Donghyuck flabbergasted, mouth open as his eyes move between the pair. Renjun rounds the corner like the saviour he is, and his prayers have been  _ answered, _ “Renjun, get over here!”

“Oh, hey, Xuxi,” Renjun smiles as he walks over to them, and Donghyuck’s head whips towards him so fast in betrayal and disappointment that he can feel the alcohol slosh around in his body.

“Hey, Jun,” Lucas says back, just as casually. He has his arms wrapped around Jeno’s waist now, whilst the other nuzzles into his neck.

Donghyuck narrows his eyes down at them, and then back to Renjun who still hasn’t even batted an eye at the display of  _ affection.  _

Renjun looks at him like a concerned mother. He holds out his red cup full of whatever alcohol is available, “Why are you acting so weird, Hyuck? It’s your birthday! Do you want my drink? I can get another one.”

_ “Jun,” _ Donghyuck harshly whispers as he gestures at the two on the couch in their own little world, “Do you  _ really  _ not see the issue here?”

“Issue?” Renjun furrows his eyebrows as he follows Donghyuck’s hand movements, “But they do this all the time?”

Donghyuck gasps  _ again,  _ this is worse than he thought, “How long has Jeno been cheating on Sushi for?”

_ “Okay,” _ Renjun puts his cup down onto a nearby table, “Literally  _ what the fuck  _ are you talking about, Hyuck? They’re right there.”

Donghyuck looks at him to expand.

“Jeno and his  _ boyfriend, Xuxi,  _ are  _ right  _ there, in front of you, Hyuck,” Renjun deadpans.

He looks at Lucas, who nods at him with a grin. He looks at Jeno, who lifts his head and gives an affirming nod as well. 

Oh.

_ Oh.  _

_ He’s a dumb dumb, hasn’t he? _

#  ❀❀❀

It’s on his way to the bathroom after that  _ embarrassing  _ incident, that Donghyuck sees Sungchan and someone else he doesn’t quite recognise lie on the floor of one of the bedrooms through the widely swung open door. There’s a strange smell coming from it, smokey in nature, and the stranger holds a phone up between them. It looks relatively normal, until Sungchan starts barking eagerly at the device. 

Donghyuck halts his footsteps at the door and stares.

There’s an exhale of what he thinks is pride next to him, and when he looks to see the owner for an explanation, Jungwoo simply shrugs with red cheeks and a gentle smile, “I taught him that.”

Donghyuck nods, and walks away.

#  ❀❀❀

When Donghyuck sees Mark next, he’s sitting on the stairs with Doyoung and Taeyong.

“Okay, but like, you guys met on the set of Masterchef Junior?” Mark asks for confirmation, Taeyong laughing as he nods his head. 

“Mark, they’ve said it at least five times now,” Donghyuck groans as he presses his face deeper into his boyfriend’s shoulder, “Can you  _ please  _ let them continue the story? I want to hear more about what their relationship was like as kids and if their sworn rivalry was always a thing.”

_ "Please," _ Doyoung scoffs and waves his free hand, "The first time this  _ asshole  _ talked to me it was…  _ fuck,  _ what was it?"

_ "Naruto is better than Digimon,"  _ Taeyong answers for him. His eyes have an unusual fond look in them when he looks at Doyoung, the result of the number of drinks he's consumed, Donghyuck assumes. "I saw that he had a Digimon bag and I immediately disliked him."

"Yeah, he was a real asshole. I mean, he still is, but...." Doyoung slurs, leaning forward with a secretive smile that soon turns sharp and threatening, "But he’s  _ my  _ Taeyong, and if anyone even so much as glances at him the wrong way, I  _ will  _ end them.”

Taeyong flushes red, and his eyes glance downward with a melancholy-like emotion in them that Donghyuck recognises. He wonders if Doyoung sees it too. 

He holds Mark a bit closer.

❀❀❀

“God, I hope someone doesn’t suggest  _ spin the bottle  _ again,” Taeil sighs as he twirls the liquid in his cup, “Last time was a mess and I wasn’t even there.”

Donghyuck’s ears perk up. Mark freezes next to him.

“I can’t even  _ remember  _ who suggested it,” Sicheng shudders with a grimace, “But everyone was shit-faced like they are now, and I should’ve known that that was when we should’ve stopped. There are just some things you’d really rather never see.”

Donghyuck smiles, just as Mark grips his arm, a terrified look on his face, “Donghyuck, please, you weren’t there last time, don’t-”

“Guys!” Donghyuck yells to the few people scattered around, “I have a brilliant idea.”

“Oh, no,” Jeno whispers from under his breath, now next to Lucas on the couch.

“Hey, I have great ideas,” Donghyuck pouts at him.

“Hyuck, you once ate a marshmallow that was still on fire.”

He ignores the questioning-looks around the room and rolls his eyes, “That was like  _ one time,  _ Jen.”

Renjun opens his mouth as he stands sandwiched between Jaemin and Yangyang on the other side of the room, “What about when-”

“So  _ anyway,” _ Donghyuck beams at the small crowd that has gathered. He holds up his now empty bottle of watermelon soju, “Spin the bottle!”

He thinks he hears a small  _ “fuck”  _ coming from Taeil and Sicheng’s direction but pays it no mind, assessing the various faces across the room (although his cognitive processing skills have been greatly hithered by the alcohol). 

They don’t end up playing, with a surprisingly sober Yuta offering truth or dare jenga instead, which is how they end up in a small circle on the floor, the stack of jenga blocks standing tall in the centre. 

People’s faces have started to blend together, but Donghyuck is ninety percent sure that Mark sits to his left, Renjun to his right, and he thinks he can just make out the giggles coming from where Jaemin and Yangyang are leaning on each other from Renjun’s other side. Jaehyun is somewhere here too, as well as Taeyong and Doyoung, and the circle is somewhat complete, with the others simply declining the invite in favor of watching their drunk friends make decisions they may or may not regret the following day.

A few rounds go by, with surprisingly harmless truths of  _ “what superpower do you want to have?”  _ (Yangyang wants to be rich, which Renjun argues isn’t a superpower),  _ “what was your first kiss like?”  _ (Doyoung says the other person’s lips were dry, but nice), and  _ “do you pee in the shower?”  _ (Donghyuck simply responds with, “who the hell doesn’t?”). 

The dares aren’t that wild either. Renjun goes shirtless and loses a sock ten minutes into the game, Jaemin discovers he doesn’t like wine, and Jaehyun easily piggy-backs Mark around the small circle. 

The first game ends shortly after that, Mark somehow knocking the perfectly stable tower down, and is met with a row of shots, which he downs with relative ease.

It’s when Johnny and Ten wedge themselves into the circle between Jaehyun and Taeyong for the start of the next game that things start heating up a bit. 

“What do you  _ mean  _ you’ve tried Louis’ food before?!” Ten cries, holding Johnny’s shirt collar in his hands as he rocks him back and forth. 

_ “It was out of curiosity!”  _ Johnny defends himself, “It was just sitting there! Open! And it smelled like a regular can of tuna so I thought  _ “why not?”  _ and ate it!”

_ “Johnny!”  _ Ten cries again,  _ “That shit is expensive!” _

“It’s not like I had the whole thing!”

Doyoung clears his throat, a que for Ten and Johnny to settle down. Ten gives his boyfriend a last glare before letting go of his shirt and making himself comfortable on his lap.

And the game continues, a little uneventful for the next few questions until it swoops back around.

Doyoung’s cheeks are a stunning red when he picks up the next block. It’s another truth, “What was the last lie you told someone?”

He pauses for a moment, as if in deep thought, before shaking his head and asking Taeyong to hand him a shot. A chorus of oohs and aahs come from the circle as they witness the first drink of the game. 

“Is it because the person you lied to is in this room?” Donghyuck asks eagerly.

Doyoung shakes his head, “I don’t have to answer that, so I won’t.”

“Fine,” Donghyuck pouts. He turns to Taeyong, “Your turn!”

Taeyong hums as he assesses the stack of blocks, going for one near the bottom that makes the structure wobble as he takes it out. He looks surprised when he reads it, albeit confused, and repeats Doyoung’s previous question, “What was the last lie you told someone?”

Renjun lets out an audible gasp. Donghyuck shushes him as he watches Taeyong’s eyes hover to Doyoung before looking back down at the block. Who knew a game of truth or dare jenga could throw the pair into so much chaos? Donghyuck is thrilled.

Taeyong takes a shot.

Donghyuck can’t really process what happens after that, with everyone taking a shot as each round passes, but he knows that he’s confessed to stealing Jaemin’s phone charger at work, Jaehyun can bite into a lemon without batting an eye, and Ten is  _ really really  _ flexible. It’s not until Jaehyun’s turn comes around again that something feels off. 

His heart seems to thump louder in his chest, he’s frozen, and the only warmth he knows is there is Mark’s hand on his face with a crease in his brow when he says, “Hyuck? You’re really pale.”

“I’m fine,” Donghyuck brushes it off, smiling and giving Mark a little peck of reassurance on his cheek, “I think I’ll just cut down on the drinks.”

His heart still thumps loudly as Jaehyun picks up the block, and there’s a paleness to him when he reads the words. It’s fear that’s on Jaehyun’s face as he speaks, “Kiss the person on your left.”

The first thing Donghyuck notices is the pause in Mark, and it feels as if time has stopped for a split second. 

The person on Jaehyun’s left, quite  _ inconveniently  _ so, is none other than Johnny, who looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world as he laughs at the dare, oblivious to Jaehyun’s inner turmoil. Jaehyun lets out an uncomfortable chuckle too, and Ten pushes Johnny towards him with a harmless scoff. 

“Y-you can drink, y’know!” Donghyuck abruptly cuts in, and he hopes no one notices the anxiety that sits in his stomach. He sends a worried glance to Jaehyun, who’s looking at Johnny like he himself can’t believe that just happened. Mark’s lips frown when he meets Donghyuck’s gaze again, but the other has placed a gentle hand on his leg, a small comfort he didn’t know he needed.

There’s a small furrow in Jaehyun’s eyebrows as he considers his options, but there’s also a resolution in his eyes, and Donghyuck knows he’s already made his decision. 

Jaehyun sends him a gentle smile before shaking his head, “I’ll be okay.”

And then Johnny and Jaehyun kiss, just a tiny peck of the lips. The moment is over before Donghyuck realises, with Jaehyun looking more confused than before when he pulls away. 

Mark lets out a deep breath of relief when everyone seems to move on from it, and the block he holds is a dare. It’s an easy one for Mark, who grabs out of his phone and reads out the last text he received, “Johnny, twenty minutes ago: where are you?”

Johnny gasps offendly, “So it  _ did  _ deliver! You said you didn’t get anything!”

Jaehyun excuses himself to get water as the brothers continue to bicker, and Donghyuck feels himself lose all enthusiasm of the game as he tries to get out another block. His mind is elsewhere, even as his body moves and targets a block that should be relatively easy to take out, and everyone yells as the stack falls to the ground. 

The row of shots looks daunting, but Mark turns to him and asks, “Do you want to go after him?”

Donghyuck nods, so Mark, like the angel he is, throws down all the shots and grabs his hand as they make their way to the kitchen. He slows Mark down a bit and pulls to go to the bathroom, his bladder not having a good time. He internally curses fate the entire time it takes for him to get there, and the world spins slightly when he staggers out. 

He notes how close Kun and Sicheng are on the couch but doesn’t pay any attention to them - instead heading straight to the kitchen because that’s where the water is, only to find that Jaehyun  _ isn’t  _ there. They  _ do  _ find Dejun and Guanheng in the middle of making some sort of  _ concoction  _ however, giggling as they mix the different soju flavours with vodka and wine and...  _ Yakult? _

He doesn’t want to ask what they’re doing so he doesn’t, but he’s left confused when Mark asks them where Jaehyun is and the two reply that they haven’t seen him since the start of jenga. Donghyuck fumbles a bit, wondering where on earth he could’ve gone, when Mark tugs at his arm. He follows Mark’s gaze and looks out the backdoor, seeing a lone figure sitting on the veranda. It’s not clear who it is since it’s  _ dark  _ and there’s no light outside apart from what’s reflecting off of the moon, but something pulls at them to go there. 

So they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing the party scenes since the beginning of radio fic, and I can't believe it's already been six months since I posted the first chapter! I only realised a few days after I posted chapter 15 that I posted it the day before the 6 month anniversary >:0
> 
> As always... I hope this update was able to lift your spirits high, whether you had a terrible or amazing day!
> 
> Comments are and will always be appreciated (no matter how little or much you say) :D <3
> 
> Chapter Title:  
> "p a r t y, p a r t y" lyrics from 'PARTY' by Girls' Generation

**Author's Note:**

> hello;; if u made it this far i would just like to say thank you!! i've fallen in love with this world, and i hope you will too! the process for this has been really enjoyable and hopefully that'll shine through :]
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated ! stay safe and stay at home if you can ! i hope this fic made u smile one way or another <3
> 
> if interested:  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/fIowerzens)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/flowerzens)


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